Ghosts of the Orphanage – Christine Kenneally

For more than a hundred years, the people of Vermont had, knowingly or unknowingly, sent their children in reverent offering to the huge house on the hill outside of town. The obedient servants of the Catholic God took the children in, and in return, behind the locked doors of St. Joseph’s Orphanage, out of their own pain and misery, and with all their immense entitlement, they devoured them.

Some books stay with me because they were so well written. Others linger because they invited me into a world that I previously knew very little of, or their content haunts me. Then there are those that introduce me to people I’ll never forget.

This book was all of the above. I expect it to be one of my favourite non-fiction reads of the year.

Investigating some of the worst abuses of power I’ve ever read about, abuse that took place over the course of decades and throughout continents by seemingly countless perpetrators, this is not an easy read. Important, absolutely. Easy, not even close.

However, despite detailing abuses that run the gamut – verbal, emotional, physical, sexual, medical, neglect, torture, even murder – the descriptions are not as graphic as I had expected them to be. That’s not to say that there’s any doubt about the level of brutality these children survived (or didn’t, in some cases). The content is potentially triggering but it’s delivered as sensitively as possible.

The research that preceded this book was extensive, consisting of hundreds of interviews as well as … take a deep breath …

thousands of pages of transcripts from the St. Joseph’s litigation in the 1990s and files from Vermont Catholic Charities, which included contemporaneous logs from social workers at the orphanage, medical records, historic photographs, and letters written by priests and other workers in child welfare at the time, as well as handwritten diaries, police records, autopsy reports, transcripts from secret church tribunals, priest rehabilitation reports, orphanage settlement letters, historic newspaper articles, death and birth certificates, and government files and reports from many jurisdictions.

While the bulk of the book focuses on the atrocities that took place at St. Joseph’s Orphanage in Vermont, you’ll also learn about other orphanages in America, Canada, Australia, Ireland and Scotland.

“I thought I was the reason all that stuff happened,” he told me. “All that time, I thought it was only happening to me, but it was happening all over the place.”

Geoff Meyer

Sally Dale is integral to this book but hers is not the only story that will stay with you. I’m in awe of the courage, resilience and determination of the children I was introduced to, those who lived to become adults as well as those who didn’t.

As adults, many have fought for justice against one of the oldest institutions in the world. The pain of hearing their stories was well and truly offset by the privilege of getting to know these remarkable survivors.

I can’t recommend this book highly enough, but my recommendation comes with a word of warning: please take good care of yourself while you’re reading it. And make sure you have tissues on hand.

Now I know that some people have always moved freely between the reality that is plain to see and its hinterlands: the institutions, the orphanages, the places where things happen behind closed doors and stay hidden.

Content warnings include death by suicide, domestic abuse, emotional abuse, forced labour, medical experimentation, mental health, murder, physical abuse, sexual assault and torture. Readers with emetophobia are really going to struggle.

Thank you so much to Hachette Australia for the opportunity to read this book.

Rating: 5 out of 5.

Once Upon a Blurb

A shocking expose of the dark, secret history of Catholic orphanages – the violence, abuse, and even murder that took place within their walls – and a call to hold the powerful to account.

Ghosts of the Orphanage is the result of ten years of investigation by award-winning journalist Christine Kenneally. What she has uncovered is shocking, yet it was all hiding in plain sight.

Terrible things, abuse, both physical and psychological, and even deaths have happened in orphanages all over the world for many years. The survivors have been telling what happened to them for a long time, but no one has been listening. Authorities have too often been unwilling to accept their stories. And a victim’s options for recourse have been limited by the years it has taken many survivors to process their trauma, tell their stories, and pursue legal action.

Centering on St. Joseph’s, a Catholic orphanage in Vermont, Kenneally investigates and shares the stories of survivors. She has fought to expose the truth and hold the powerful – many of them Catholic priests and nuns – to account. And it is working. As these stories have come to light, the laws in Vermont have been forced to change, including the statute of limitations on prosecuting them.

Told with human compassion, novelistic detail and a powerful sense of purpose, Ghosts of the Orphanage is not only a gripping story but a reckoning. It is proof that real evil lurks at the edges of our society, and that, if we have the courage, we can bring it into the light and defeat it.

Reclaim – Dr Ahona Guha

I’ve read books about complex trauma before. Most focus exclusively on those who have experienced trauma, classifying them as victims or survivors. They tend to talk about what happened to people and then discuss the various short and long term impacts, and offer suggestions for managing them.

I’ve also read books about perpetrators before, although these reads generally focus on serial killers, a result of my interest in criminal profiling. More often than not, a perpetrator is painted as only that. If mention is made of any victimisation that they have experienced, it’s in a reductive manner. This happened to this person as a child. Therefore, this person acted in this way as an adult.

This book is designed to be a guide to evidence-based psychological frameworks that can aid in understanding the nature of complex traumas, the tasks of recovery, the nature of those who perpetrate abuse, and broader issues involved in service provision and trauma management.

What drew me to this book was the fact that its author works as both a clinical and forensic psychologist. As someone with a trauma history, I’m always looking for new, better ways to manage its impacts. As someone with a psychology degree (the most expensive piece of paper I own), I am interested in the why behind the what when people act in ways that victimise others.

I love that this book delves into something that most people conveniently ignore: sometimes a person is both victim and perpetrator.

We have neat binaries in our minds: victims and perpetrators. Some people are both, and we struggle to know where to place these people and how to respond to them.

One of my favourite parts of this book was its exploration of the way the media highlights the stories of survivors of trauma whose impacts are socially acceptable; these are usually young, attractive, educated, heterosexual, white women. What’s lost in the narrative is everyone else, including those who are incarcerated, homeless, struggle with addiction or virtually any other impact that makes it easier for us to focus on someone’s behaviour at the risk of ignoring their underlying trauma.

When we think about complex trauma it is essential to hold all survivors in mind – not just those we judge to be worthy of healing (typically those we see as being most like us).

I also appreciated the acknowledgment that many perpetrators are very skilled at hiding their true colours from the people they’re not victimising. So many times when I’m reading news articles about a horrific crime, I see quotes from people who know the alleged perpetrator, who talk about what a nice, wonderful, community minded person they are. They can’t believe that their friend, coworker, family member or acquaintance would be capable of such violence.

People who engage in abusive acts often demonstrate situation and context-dependent behaviours, so that people who are not being victimised by them will often see very different behaviours.

A blend of theory and case studies (composites so as not to breach confidentiality), this book would be of interest to both trauma survivors and those who work in helping professions. I anticipate that readers who work with trauma survivors will find the information relating to managing vicarious trauma particularly helpful.

Content warnings include mention of addiction, bullying, child abuse, coercive control, death by suicide, deaths in custody, domestic abuse, eating disorders, emotional abuse, mental health, physical abuse, self harm, sexual assault and stalking.

Thank you so much to Scribe Publications for the opportunity to read this book.

Rating: 4.5 out of 5.

Once Upon a Blurb

A groundbreaking book that will broaden and expand your thinking, whether you are a trauma survivor, a clinician, someone who loves a survivor, or someone seeking to understand abuse.

The relationship between trauma and mental health is becoming better recognised, but survivors and professionals alike remain confused about how best to understand and treat it. In Reclaim, through a series of case studies and expert analysis, Dr Ahona Guha explores complex traumas, how survivors can recover and heal, and the nature of those who abuse. She shines a light on the ‘difficult’ trauma victims that society often ignores, and tackles vital questions such as, ‘Why are psychological abuse and coercive control so difficult to spot?’, ‘What kinds of behaviours should we see as red flags?’, and ‘Why do some people harm others, and how do we protect ourselves from them?’

As a clinical and forensic psychologist, Dr Guha has had extensive experience in working with those who perpetrate harm – including stalkers, sex offenders, violent offenders, and those who threaten, bully and harass – and she has a deep understanding of the psychological and social factors that cause people to abuse others. In turn, her clinical work in the trauma treatment field has led her to recognise the enormous impacts of complex trauma, and the failures of systems when working with those who have been victimised.

By emphasising compassion above all, Dr Guha calls for us to become better informed about perpetrators and the needs of victims, so we might reclaim a safer, healthier society for everyone.

Savage Woods – Mary SanGiovanni

Every time I read a Mary SanGiovanni book I remember how much I love them. I’m also reminded of how fun it is when she introduces something I’ve either never heard of or know very little about, generating enough interest in me that I decide I need to become an expert in whatever the something is.

In Inside the Asylum, this was tulpas. I’d never heard of them but by the end of the book I’d read everything I could find about them. Years later, they came up in some random TV episode. The person sitting next to me asked if I knew what that word was. Naturally, I proceeded to tell them all about tulpas, including some handy hints for how to make one if they were so inclined.

While I was trying to find my way out of the Savage Woods, I began reading about tree spirits. When I wasn’t busy trying to pronounce Kèkpëchehëlat.

This is my first Mary SanGiovanni read that isn’t a Kathy Ryan book (note to self: read the rest of Mary’s books!). I kept thinking that the subject matter was right up Kathy’s alley and loved that her research had a cameo, even though she didn’t.

Brothers Todd and Kenny decide Nilhollow is the perfect place for their camping trip. They don’t believe the “clichéd stuff about cursed grounds, unexplained hiker deaths and disappearances, lights in the sky, that sort of thing.”

They’re also dismissive about the reports of the missing people “turning up inside-out and hanging from trees”. What brothers Todd and Kenny don’t realise is that they’re first chapter characters and, as such, they’re almost certainly destined to stop breathing before the main characters show up.

Something about Nilhollow was just … all wrong.

Which brings me to Julia Russo, who’s trying to escape her abusive ex-boyfriend, Darren. Darren, who clearly doesn’t understand the purpose of a restraining order, decides to run Julia off the road. In the wrong part of the woods.

Officer Pete Grainger, a New Jersey state trooper, knows Julia’s situation well and has developed some not especially professional feelings for her. Of course, when he learns she’s in trouble, Grainge responds. So do a whole gaggle of law enforcement corpses in the making.

This book is an absolute splatterfest and I loved every squishy, crunchy, rending moment. I flew through it, cheering on the trees as they painted the woods red. I’m more convinced than ever that I need to read everything Mary SanGiovanni ever writes.

“You need to warn the others that whatever slept in these woods is awake now, and it wants blood.”

Content warnings include mention of death by suicide, domestic abuse, stalking and suicidal ideation.

Thank you very much to NetGalley and Lyrical Underground, an imprint of Kensington Books, for the opportunity to read this book.

Rating: 5 out of 5.

Once Upon a Blurb

Nilhollow – six-hundred-plus acres of haunted woods in New Jersey’s Pine Barrens – is the stuff of urban legend. Amid tales of tree spirits and all-powerful forest gods are frightening accounts of hikers who went insane right before taking their own lives. It is here that Julia Russo flees when her violent ex-boyfriend runs her off the road … here that she vanishes without a trace.

State Trooper Peter Grainger has witnessed unspeakable things that have broken other men. But he has to find Julia and can’t turn back now. Every step takes him closer to an ugliness that won’t be appeased – a centuries-old, devouring hatred rising up to eviscerate humankind. Waiting, feeding, surviving. It’s unstoppable. And its time has come.

The Merry Dredgers – Jeremy C. Shipp

Phina is dressed as a princess when she learns her sister has joined a cult. Eff has written her a letter on a series of postcards, assuring Phina that she most definitely hasn’t joined a cult. As you well know, this means Eff has absolutely, positively joined a cult. Phina agrees.

Right now, all I know for sure is that my sister definitely joined a cult, and I need to find a way to save her.

Before she can come up with a rock solid plan to extricate Eff, Phina learns that her sister has come into contact with some solid rocks. Eff has been in an “accident”, if you think a cult member falling into a quarry soon after telling a family member that they’ve joined a not cult isn’t suspicious.

Phina goes into investigation mode, deciding that the only way she’ll be able to narrow down the list of suspects is to join said cult.

Eff always likes to talk about the crossroads moments in a person’s life, and this definitely feels like one of those.

Welcome to Goblintropolis, home of the Merry Dredgers. Side bar: If your cult wants to recruit me, it would help your cause considerably if your commune’s located in an abandoned amusement park.

This was one of those books that I flew through, wanting to know what was next even as I asked myself what on earth I was reading. I had a similar experience with this book as I did with The Atrocities, absolutely loving it until the very end.

I was hooked until the final couple of pages, when an element of the story that I’d hoped would drag on for a while resolved almost instantaneously. I have a few unanswered questions but am mostly okay with having those linger.

Sometimes the banter between Phina and Nichelle seemed a bit forced but this could be explained by Phina’s need to fit in quickly with the Merry Dredgers.

I want to visit Goblintropolis. I’m most looking forward to seeing the eyeball tree. I love that someone’s trying to put Humpty Dumpty back together again.

New favourite insult:

“She’s nothing but a spud-brained charlatan.”

Content warnings include mention of domestic abuse.

Thank you so much to Meerkat Press for the opportunity to read this book.

Rating: 4 out of 5.

Once Upon a Blurb

Seraphina Ramon will stop at nothing to find out the truth about why her sister Eff is in a coma after a very suspicious “accident.” Even if it means infiltrating the last place Seraphina knows Eff was alive: a once-abandoned amusement park now populated by a community of cultists.

Follow Seraphina through the mouth of the Goblin: To the left, a wolf-themed rollercoaster rests on the blackened earth, curled up like a dead snake. To the right, an animatronic Humpty Dumpty falls off a concrete castle and shatters on the ground, only to reform itself moments later. Up ahead, cultists giggle as they meditate in a hall of mirrors. This is the last place in the world Seraphina wants to be, but the best way to investigate this bizarre cult, is to join them.

Weyward – Emilia Hart

Altha – 1619

Altha is on trial, accused of being a witch.

Night had already fallen for me.

Violet – 1942

Violet’s father is appalled by her behaviour (climbing trees is most inappropriate) and is threatening to send her to finishing school so he can marry her off to an eligible young man. Violet wants to be a scientist. She would also like to be allowed to wear trousers. No one understands her “insect obsession”.

‘Is there something wrong with me?’

Kate – 2019

When Kate leaves her abusive relationship, she goes to Weyward Cottage, which was owned by her great-aunt. It is here that she will come to terms with her past and discover her heritage.

I am the monster.

The first Weyward child is always a girl. This is the story of three of them, centuries apart yet connected.

Although each Weyward is given a voice in this story, Altha’s is the only one told in first person. I found something to like about all three women. In particular, their affinity with nature endeared them to me.

Be aware that on page violence against women is part of the story in every timeline. The graphic nature of some of this abuse may be triggering for some readers. Thankfully, women reclaiming their power and having the courage to be themselves was also part of the story.

Favourite no context quote:

Perhaps one day, she said, there would be a safer time. When women could walk the earth, shining bright with power, and yet live.

Content warnings include abortion, domestic abuse, mental health, miscarriage, physical abuse of an animal, racial slur, sexual assault, stillbirth and suicidal ideation. Readers with emetophobia may have trouble with some scenes.

Thank you so much to NetGalley and The Borough Press, an imprint of HarperCollins UK, for the opportunity to read this book.

Rating: 4 out of 5.

Once Upon a Blurb

Kate, 2019
Kate flees London – abandoning everything – for Cumbria and Weyward Cottage, inherited from her great-aunt. There, a secret lurks in the bones of the house, hidden ever since the witch-hunts of the 17th century.

Violet, 1942
Violet is more interested in collecting insects and climbing trees than in becoming a proper young lady. Until a chain of shocking events changes her life forever.

Altha, 1619
Altha is on trial for witchcraft, accused of killing a local man. Known for her uncanny connection with nature and animals, she is a threat that must be eliminated.

But Weyward women belong to the wild. And they cannot be tamed…

Weaving together the stories of three women across five centuries, Weyward is an enthralling novel of female resilience and the transformative power of the natural world.

Bizarre – Marc Dingman

I’m fascinated by why humans do the strange things we do. This book answered some of the questions I’ve had, as well as some I didn’t have until I started reading.

While I have an interest in neuroscience, I don’t have a scientific background so am usually hesitant to dive into books that explore it. The blurb made this one sound like it would be accessible without a bunch of prior knowledge so I took a chance. I loved it so much that I practically inhaled it.

I have so much more appreciation for the complexities of the brain and how much we still don’t know about how it works. Given how many of its parts are involved in tasks that we often do without a second thought, it’s astounding that we function at all.

Just speaking a simple sentence, for example, requires the successful execution of operations such as word retrieval, the application of syntax (i.e., the rules used to properly arrange words in a sentence), coordinating the activity of the muscles involved in speech, sprinkling in appropriate changes in tone and pitch, and so on. Each of these tasks might require the contribution of different parts of the brain, causing language to be reliant on a large number of functioning brain regions for it to be fully operational.

This book explains how the different parts of the brain work but I’m also much more aware now of the many ways that things can go wrong. Illness, trauma and other unexpected bumps in the road that affect even one part of the brain can have life changing consequences.

Each chapter covers a different area of behaviour: identification, physicality, obsessions, exceptionalism, intimacy, personality, belief, communication, suggestibility, absence, disconnection and reality.

There are so many disorders and syndromes covered in this book, some I’d already heard of but others that were new to me. There’s Cotard’s syndrome, where you’re convinced you’re dead or have lost organs, blood or body parts, and Capgras syndrome, where you believe people close to you have been replaced by imposters. There’s clinical lycanthropy/zoanthropy, pica, hoarding, objectophilia, dissociative identity disorder, the placebo effect, folie à deux, agnosia, alien hand syndrome, Alice in Wonderland syndrome and more.

Despite how strange some of them may seem, they often just represent the extremes of the spectrum of normal human tendencies – and they are not completely foreign to us.

A lot of the stories will stay with me but probably none more so than that of Kim Peek, who had a condition called an encephalocele, “where an incompletely developed cranium allows part of the brain to bulge outside the skull – potentially twisting, distorting, and damaging brain tissue in the process.” Despite considerable brain damage, Kim was able to do something extraordinary.

He eventually could read a page in 8 to 10 seconds while memorizing all the information on it. He even began reading and comprehending the right and left pages of a book simultaneously (with his right and left eyes).

By the time he died in 2009 at the age of 58, Kim had read – and memorized – more than 12,000 books.

Morbid curiosity may make you want to read this book but, thanks to the author’s approach, you never lose sight of the fact that these are real people you’re reading about, people who have often suffered greatly as a result of what’s happening in their brain.

This book did what I’m always looking for in non-fiction. I learned plenty of interesting new things. It held my attention. It made me think. It made me want to learn more.

Content warnings include domestic abuse, gun violence, mental health, self harm, sexual assault and suicidal ideation. Readers with emetophobia may have some trouble.

Thank you so much to NetGalley and Nicholas Brealey Publishing, an imprint of John Murray Press, for the opportunity to read this book.

Rating: 5 out of 5.

Once Upon a Blurb

The human brain is an impossibly complex and delicate instrument – capable of extraordinary calculations, abundant creativity and linguistic dexterity. But the brain is not just the most brilliant of evolutionary wonders. It’s also one of the most bizarre.

This book shows a whole other side of how brains work – from the patient who is afraid to take a shower because she fears her body will slip down the drain to a man who is convinced, against all evidence, that he is a cat, and a woman who compulsively snacks on cigarette ashes.

Entertaining though they are, these cases are more than just oddities. In attempting to understand them, neuroscientists have uncovered important details about how the brain works. Bizarre will examine these details while explaining what neuroscience’s most unusual patients have taught us about normal brain function -ideal both for readers seeking a better appreciation of the inner workings of the brain and those who simply want some extraordinary topics for dinner party conversation.

Gothic – Philip Fracassi

Spoilers Ahead (in purple)

Tyson Parks, once upon a bestselling author, is struggling both creatively and financially. He’s already spent the advance he received for the book he was supposed to be writing and his agent isn’t exactly thrilled that the work in progress Tyson presents to him doesn’t even remotely resemble the pitch. Sent away with an impossible deadline and strict instructions to write the book he was supposed to be writing, Tyson feels defeated.

Sarah, Tyson’s partner, goes all out for his birthday, buying him a one of a kind antique desk. They both hope this will give Tyson the boost he needs to get back in the game.

Now, instead of completing the historical horror novel he wanted to write, Tyson finds himself embroiled in a real life historical horror, one that’s almost three hundred years in the making.

I found this book easy to get into and I was keen to see how the history of Tyson’s desk impacted on his present. Almost immediately I started comparing Tyson to Jack Torrance. It was hard not to. The author even references Jack, and adds a few other King references in for good measure.

I was completely on board until the on page rape scene. I love so many types of horror: body horror, slashers, supernatural horror, gore, psychological horror, monster horror… This rape scene, though? It seemed to me that it was only there as a plot device, showing the reader that the desk is influencing Tyson to act in a way that he never would without it. There are so many ways you can show me that someone is morphing into a bad guy without using rape to do it. Sexual assault has its place in fiction but not when there’s no sensitivity given to the material.

But here’s the reality: when you are joined with someone for over a decade of life, and when that decade has been a good decade – a litany of loving moments, shared compassion and consistent, unflagging support – you build a level of trust, a balustrade of understanding, of love.

Of forgiveness.

This just made me mad. Oh, and then there’s this.

It was up to Sarah to decide now. Was their story over, or had the future already been written? Sarah let out a held breath, her shoulders slump and she leans forward, her forehead to his chest.

She allows him to give himself back to her, and she to him.

Tyson, Sarah might forgive you for brutally raping her but I don’t.

If it wasn’t for this scene, I probably would have continued to enjoy this read. It coloured everything I read after it, though, and I never made it back to my initial enjoyment.

Because I really liked the way this novel started, I’d be interested in trying another book by this author. I’d definitely check out the reviews first to make sure I chose one that’s right for me.

Content warnings include domestic abuse and sexual assault.

Thank you so much to NetGalley and Cemetery Dance Publications for the opportunity to read this book.

Rating: 2.5 out of 5.

Once Upon a Blurb

On his 59th birthday, Tyson Parks – a famous, but struggling, horror writer – receives an antique desk from his partner, Sarah, in the hopes it will rekindle his creative juices. Perhaps inspire him to write another best-selling novel and prove his best years aren’t behind him.

A continent away, a mysterious woman makes inquiries with her sources around the world, seeking the whereabouts of a certain artifact her family has been hunting for centuries. With the help of a New York City private detective, she finally finds what she’s been looking for.

It’s in the home of Tyson Parks.

Meanwhile, as Tyson begins to use his new desk, he begins acting… strange. Violent. His writing more disturbing than anything he’s done before. But publishers are paying top dollar, convinced his new work will be a hit, and Tyson will do whatever it takes to protect his newfound success.

Even if it means the destruction of the ones he loves.

Even if it means his own sanity.

The One Thing We’ve Never Spoken About – Elfy Scott

I know quite a few people who live with depression, anxiety, PTSD, OCD and bipolar disorder, but no one has disclosed to me that they live with schizophrenia. This is not to say I don’t know anyone living with this condition, only that so much stigma is attached to schizophrenia that people often don’t feel comfortable sharing their diagnosis with the people in their life. I’m hopeful that books like this one will help break the silence that surrounds it.

Prior to reading this book I probably could have muddled my way through the DSM-5 criteria and maybe rattled off some statistics. However, the only times I’ve only heard from people who’ve been diagnosed with schizophrenia is in documentaries about mental health whose focus is invariably on the more well known diagnoses of depression and anxiety. The stories about those with schizophrenia were told in passing, usually referred to in hushed voices and terminology that you’d expect more in reference to people who are terminally ill.

The truth is, the schizophrenia many of us think we know fails to reflect the reality of the schizophrenia that most people experience.

In this book, the author opens up the conversation about what life looks like for people living with schizophrenia and their loved ones. They look at environmental risk factors, such as trauma and poverty, and explore the stigma that surrounds diagnosis and the different models of mental health. Contrary to their portrayal in the media, people with schizophrenia are more likely to be victims of violence than perpetrators.

The importance of peer support and the limitations of our health care, housing and justice systems are explained. The experiences of a number of people living with schizophrenia are told throughout the book, and it becomes abundantly clear the role privilege plays in the way schizophrenia is treated (or not) and how individuals are able to manage their condition.

I was encouraged by how well the author’s mother’s schizophrenia has been managed but was also very aware of the privilege that facilitated such positive outcomes. Being able to afford and access appropriate medical care from the time that symptoms appear, as well as having secure housing and a network of supportive family and friends are luxuries that many people don’t have.

I was relieved that Elfy’s mother didn’t have to deal with a lot of the struggles that other people diagnosed with mental illness face but, as someone who needs to advocate for myself in a broken health system, I also found myself envious of the privilege that allowed her to get the treatment she’s needed when she’s needed it. I imagine if I was reading this book as a family member of someone diagnosed with schizophrenia, this disparity would hit me even harder.

The author openly acknowledges this privilege. This book also includes the voices of people who I expect would represent the majority of people who live with schizophrenia, those who don’t have access to adequate medical care and who don’t have secure housing and an abundance of supportive people in their life.

Even with all of the resources their family had, their mother’s schizophrenia was an open secret for Elfy and her siblings when they were growing up.

Her condition didn’t feel shameful to speak about so much as it just felt quite scary and dark – too jarring to make sense in our day-to-day lives outside of the house and too big to concern other people with. And so it became a secret.

One of my pet peeves, talking about what we’re going to talk about before getting into the talking about it, was present in this book. To be fair, this is something I come across more often than not in nonfiction reads and it probably says more about my impatience to get on with the learning than anything else. Once I made it past the introductory material, the stories shared by the people with lived experience hooked me.

Where this book shone was its inclusion of the voices of so many people living with schizophrenia, as well as schizoaffective disorder and bipolar disorder. Diagnostic criteria and statistics can only take you so far. It should go without saying but if you want an understanding of what it’s like to live with a condition, listening to the people who know it from the inside is invaluable. You can know in theory that people who live with schizophrenia experience stigma but until someone with lived experience explains how that impacts them personally, you can stay several steps removed from that reality.

If a quarter of all Australians are affected by a complex mental health condition in some way, whether through firsthand experience or by way of a relative or friend, then we’re forced to ask: Why aren’t we talking about these issues on a national scale? Why does it seem like nobody cares? And who does it serve for us not to care?

Content warnings include mention of bullying, death by suicide, domestic abuse, homelessness, mental health, racism, self harm, sexual assault and suicidal ideation.

Thank you so much to NetGalley and Pantera Press for the opportunity to read this book.

Rating: 4 out of 5.

Once Upon a Blurb

An investigation into the failings of Australia’s mental healthcare system, grounded in a personal story of a mother–daughter relationship.

Journalist Elfy Scott grew up in a household where her mother’s schizophrenia was rarely, if ever, spoken about. They navigated this silence outside the family home too; for many years, this complex mental health condition was treated as an open secret.

Over the past two decades, we have started talking more about common mental health conditions like depression and anxiety. But complex conditions like schizophrenia, bipolar disorder and psychosis have been left behind, as have many of the people who live with these conditions or who care for them.

Part memoir, part deep-dive investigation, The One Thing We’ve Never Spoken About is filled with rage at how our nation’s public discourse, emergency services and healthcare systems continue to fail so many people. It is also a work of care, telling the little-heard stories of people who live with these conditions and work at the front lines of mental health. Above all, this timely, compelling book is informed by hope and courage, breaking down taboos and asking big questions about vulnerability, justice and duty of care.

Meredith, alone – Claire Alexander

For better or for worse, life can change in a matter of seconds. People take their first and last breaths. Cars crash, planes plunge into oceans. The healing process after decades of hurt can begin with a simple gesture.

Or a question: ‘Are you all right?’

When we meet Meredith, she hasn’t left her home for 1,214 days. Fred, her cat, is her constant companion. Her only visitors are the Tesco delivery man, Sadie (her best friend) and Sadie’s kids, James and Matilda. Meredith spends a lot of her time working on jigsaw puzzles.

I’ve been collecting boxes filled with places I’ll never go – works of art I’ll never see.

Meredith doesn’t have any contact with her mother or Fiona (Fee), her older sister. It’s complicated.

On day 1,215, Meredith meets Tom from Holding Hands.

On day 1,219, Meredith meets Celeste, AKA, CATLADY29.

My life is divided into before and after, and the before remains out of my grasp.

Over the course of just over 300 days, the puzzle pieces of how Meredith’s before became her after come together.

I binged this book in a day and enjoyed getting to know Meredith and the people who found their way to her front door. What struck me most was how vital the people around Meredith were to her, giving her the connections she needed and the safety to both confront her past and grow beyond her limitations.

A lot of social issues are explored in this book, many of which have the potential to be quite confronting. While their inclusion made sense in the context of the story and individual characters, some deserved more page time.

While I spent the book cheering Meredith on, sometimes her wins felt like they came too easy. Yes, she did work hard to achieve everything she did. Considering what her life looked like when we met her, though, I would have expected her recovery to be more two steps forward, one step back than it was, over a longer period of time.

Meredith can cook for me anytime she’d like.

I love when books teach me new concepts. Oubaitori comes from kanji for four trees that bloom in spring: cherry blossoms, plum, peach, and apricot.

桜梅桃李

While each blossom looks similar, they bloom differently, with varying shapes and smells. Oubaitori applies this concept to people.

In Japanese philosophy it’s the art of never comparing yourself to others, but recognizing value in your own unique character.

Content warnings include attempted suicide, domestic abuse, eating disorder, mental health, miscarriage, self harm, sexual assault, stillbirth and suicidal ideation.

Rating: 4 out of 5.

Once Upon a Blurb

Meredith Maggs hasn’t left her house in 1,214 days. But she insists she isn’t alone… 

She has her cat Fred. Her friend Sadie visits when she can. There’s her online support group, StrengthInNumbers. She has her jigsaws, favourite recipes, her beloved Emily Dickinson, the internet, the Tesco delivery man and her treacherous memories for company. 

But something’s about to change.

Whether Meredith likes it or not, the world is coming to her door… Does she have the courage to overcome what’s been keeping her inside all this time? 

The Witch Haven – Sasha Peyton Smith

Spoilers Ahead! (marked in purple)

“Something bad is coming”

Frances Hallowell is mourning the recent death of her brother. Her life gets a lot more complicated when her super slimy boss attacks her after hours and she sorta kinda accidentally kills him. Oops!

When it looks certain that Frances is going to be convicted as a murderer, salvation comes to her by way of an ambulance. She’s told she’s very unwell and is promptly taken to Haxahaven Sanitarium to be ‘treated’. Only Haxahaven isn’t what it’s advertised to be. It’s actually a school for witches…

The premise of this book hooked me: secret witchy school, murder mystery, underdog battling the Big Bad. The reality of the book surprised me, and I’m still conflicted.

I was entirely engaged until I learned that the witchcraft that was being taught at Haxahaven was limited to producing good little wives and domestic help. I switched off a little at that point and was even able to put the book aside for a few weeks without any trouble.

I wasn’t sure if I wanted to finish reading but figured I’d give it another try. I found it easy to get back into. I hadn’t forgotten who the characters were or what was happening for each of them when I pressed pause. It didn’t take me long to get into the rest of the story, the parts that didn’t involve magical bread-kneading.

While I wasn’t the hugest fan of Frances, I absolutely adored Maxine and Lena. I wanted to get to know Oliver better.

I think perhaps this is how we survive in the world. Passing little bits of our magic back and forth to each other when the world takes it from us. It’s survival. It’s love. It’s family.

Content warnings include attempted sexual assault including suffocation, domestic abuse, mental health and a character who was removed from her home and taken to a residential school. Readers with emetophobia may have trouble with some scenes.

Thank you so much to NetGalley and Simon & Schuster Books for Young Readers for the opportunity to read this book.

Rating: 3.5 out of 5.

Once Upon a Blurb

In 1911 New York City, seventeen year old Frances Hallowell spends her days as a seamstress, mourning the mysterious death of her brother months prior. Everything changes when she’s attacked and a man ends up dead at her feet – her scissors in his neck, and she can’t explain how they got there.

Before she can be condemned as a murderess, two cape-wearing nurses arrive to inform her she is deathly ill and ordered to report to Haxahaven Sanitarium. But Frances finds Haxahaven isn’t a sanitarium at all: it’s a school for witches. Within Haxahaven’s glittering walls, Frances finds the sisterhood she craves, but the headmistress warns Frances that magic is dangerous. Frances has no interest in the small, safe magic of her school, and is instead enchanted by Finn, a boy with magic himself who appears in her dreams and tells her he can teach her all she’s been craving to learn, lessons that may bring her closer to discovering what truly happened to her brother.

Frances’s newfound power attracts the attention of the leader of an ancient order who yearns for magical control of Manhattan. And who will stop at nothing to have Frances by his side. Frances must ultimately choose what matters more, justice for her murdered brother and her growing feelings for Finn, or the safety of her city and fellow witches. What price would she pay for power, and what if the truth is more terrible than she ever imagined?