Illustrations – Eugene Smith
Standing barefoot on the fourth floor ledge of the school while it’s snowing wasn’t the plan but Glenn had the bright idea to go explore the mansion and here we are. Anyway, it’s the perfect excuse to get out of Lovecraft Middle School’s Valentine’s Day concert. They’re singing all things lovey dovey in there.
Ms Lavinia, the school librarian and one of the only adults the boys know they can trust, isn’t in the library today. Something doesn’t smell right and it’s not just her replacement’s perfume. Miss Carcasse isn’t exactly the most positive person to be stranded with in a snowstorm either.
“In the end, your actions have no meaningful consequences. Your fates were decided long ago.”
I usually try to read a themed book for Valentine’s Day but this year I hadn’t found one in time. Imagine my delight when I discovered that most of this book takes place on Valentine’s Day!
I’ve been looking forward to this series for years and have really been enjoying it. If this was another book in the series, I’d say it was entertaining. As the final book in the series, though, I’m left frustrated, wanting answers to questions I now know I won’t be getting.
I don’t know if there were plans for more books that didn’t eventuate or if the author always planned on leaving the ending open. Regardless, I’m left feeling like I do when one of my favourite TV shows gets cancelled and I’m left in limbo for the rest of my life.
The entire series has been leading up to events that were going to take place in spring but I ran out of pages on 15 February. It sounded like spring was going to be awesome, too. From the third book:
“For centuries, the humans have trampled us! Squashed us! Swatted us! Poisoned us!” Howard said. “But this spring, with Master’s help, you will have your revenge!”
Please don’t hype me up with that many exclamation marks and then not give me spring!
We don’t get to explore the “giant labyrinth of cobwebbed corridors, twisting stairs, and mysterious passages” of Tillinghast Mansion for the first time. I was hoping we’d spend most of the book there, especially after Robert and Glenn went through a gate pretty much straight away. I still don’t understand why that gate didn’t lead where gates usually take them.
Mr Loomis, my favourite teacher, and Ms Lavinia, my favourite librarian, didn’t make an appearance. While I know where Ms Lavinia would have been, I was sure we’d see her before the end of the book. Also, Glenn got hardly any page time.
Some of my unanswered questions relate directly to this book. Others I’ve wondered about in previous books and assumed (wrongly) that I’d know the answers by now.
How does Robert understand Pip and Squeak? What’s their backstory? Why are they so smart?
Why didn’t any of the teachers ever figure out that Karina isn’t like other students?
Why does Karina need to sleep?
How was it possible for the beings from the alternaverse to morph into their true form and then back to human form without destroying their flesh suits?
Are the spirits trapped in urns for all eternity now because the big showdown never happened?
What happens when the kids go back to school tomorrow?
Why didn’t I get to see spring?
It’s not all doom and gloom. Eugene Smith’s illustrations are still a highlight. We do get invited to a slumber party and finally come face to face with Crawford Tillinghast.
We meet some cutie pie furballs and the storyline for one of our main characters has a happy ending decades in the making.
Make sure you bring a torch and some warm clothes.
Once Upon a Blurb
It’s Valentine’s Day and a monstrous blizzard has descended upon Lovecraft Middle School, trapping twelve-year-old Robert Arthur inside the building! He and his companions have no choice but to spend the night — while snacking on cafeteria food, sleeping on the gymnasium floor, facing off against a sinister substitute teacher, and thwarting an army of abominable beasts.
This fourth novel in the Lovecraft Middle School series begins right where Teacher’s Pest ended — with more action, more adventure, and more outrageous monsters!
Schizanthus Nerd 