Tag: 3.5 stars

Coup de Grâce – Sofia Ajram

Reading this book is what I imagine a hallucination feels like. It takes you inside the mind of someone with suicidal ideation but then twists it into something Escheresque.

Today is Vick’s last day. When he gets off this train he’s going to end his life. However, things don’t exactly go to plan.

It gradually dawns on me that I’ve been denied a destination, caught in a transitional environment, a space between beginning and an end.

There’s the dread of anxiety and the muted colours of depression. There’s the wandering through life without purpose, turning a corner and finding you’re back where you started. There’s the isolation of feeling like there’s no way out. It’s bleak and confusing, and there are choices to be made.

We are small in this place; silence its judgement and indifference our condemnation.

This is a strange novella. I’m not entirely sure where I sit on the love-hate continuum. I loved how experimental and disorienting it felt. I didn’t always love the descriptions, which sometimes landed on using the most obscure word in the thesaurus. I loved that the … journey (for lack of a better word) embodied the hopelessness of suicidal ideation.

For a kid that lived for choose your own adventure, I didn’t love that aspect and that’s what’s sticking with me. I was uncomfortable making decisions that would result in how Vick’s story ended. Yes, this is fiction but apparently that doesn’t change how I feel about this.

I’m not on board with trying to make other people responsible for you. For better or worse, your actions are your own.

Having friends who have experienced suicidal ideation as well as having been there myself, I cannot emphasise enough the value of appropriate support and resources when it feels like there are no good choices.

A list of international suicide hotlines can be found here.

Favourite no context quote:

Isn’t that what sickness is? A violence, in need of direction, channeled inward?

Thank you so much to NetGalley and Titan Books for the opportunity to read this novella.

Rating: 3.5 out of 5.

Once Upon a Blurb

Vicken has a plan: throw himself into the Saint Lawrence River in Montreal and end it all for good, believing it to be the only way out for him after a lifetime of depression and pain. But, stepping off the subway, he finds himself in an endless, looping station.

Determined to find a way out again, he starts to explore the rooms and corridors ahead of him. But no matter how many claustrophobic hallways or vast cathedral-esque rooms he passes through, the exit is nowhere in sight.

The more he explores his strange new prison, the more he becomes convinced that he hasn’t been trapped there accidentally, and amongst the shadows and concrete, he comes to realise that he almost certainly is not alone.

A terrifying psychological nightmare from a powerful new voice in horror.

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Fears – Ellen Datlow (editor)

Anthologies tend to be a mixed bag. Sometimes you get more stories that suit your taste, sometimes you don’t. Because there’s a chance I’m going to find a new favourite author amongst them, I tend to read more anthologies than I plan to. There’s always a draw card, the author who sucks me into the experience when my TBR pile is shouting at me to look away. Here, that was Stephen Graham Jones.

They’re about serial killers, hunters of murderers and the blowback this can cause in the hunter, about cruel traditions, horrific appetites, toxic friendships, dysfunctional intimate relationships, revenge for real and imagined slights.

Although I love most sub-genres of horror, psychological horror is one of my favourites because, let’s face it, humans are the real horror story. While there were quite a few stories here that I could take or leave, there were also some standouts.

A Sunny Disposition by Josh Malerman

Grandpa Ray wanted to see the world like Grandma Meryl did.

“You ever feel haunted, Benji?”

Singing My Sister Down by Margo Lanagan

Today is Ik’s day.

“I’m stuck now”

Souvenirs by Sharon Gosling

Reg only wants to take one thing with him to Wisteria Lodge.

“Your daughter’s told us all about you – we’re all excited to hear your stories about travelling.”

Teeth by Stephen Graham Jones

Naturally. This story was the reason I was here.

“And then, one day, one day you … you see it.”

All of the stories included were reprints, originally published between 1964 and 2022.

Thank you so much to NetGalley and Tachyon Publications for the opportunity to read this anthology.

Rating: 3.5 out of 5.

Once Upon a Blurb

Your grandfather confesses his heinous crime to you alone. You try to save a young girl from sexual assault, but she’s not really a victim. Your child is sacrificed in compensation for your social misstep. You compete in a sick game to save your loved ones. Your mum is insane, your dad is dying, your brother is not your brother, and you’re stuck in the same house until one or all of you are dead.

Far below the unlikeliness of the supernatural lives something worse: the depths of human depravity. We live in fear of the cruelties of respected leaders and of the despicable crimes of neighbours who seem normal. We live with anxiety about our innermost desires and the unforgivable things we might do in a moment of passion. Or, if we fail to curb our urges, we live with the terrible secrets of our unfettered resentments.

In this uniquely unsettling anthology, editor Ellen Datlow has unearthed twenty-one exemplary tales of what humanity fears most: People.

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The Bright Sword – Lev Grossman

Cover image of The Bright Sword by Lev Grossman

I’ve been keen to read a Lev Grossman book for years but, for one reason or another, the stars never aligned. When I saw this book, which promised a bunch of oddballs, I was sure it was for me.

I conveniently ignored the fact that I’ve never been that interested in the legend of King Arthur. Sure, I watched The Sword in the Stone when I was a kid but that doesn’t count.

Initially I was hooked. I really liked Collum, who’s on his way to Camelot.

“Oh, you’re too late for that.”

Unbeknownst to Collum, King Arthur is dead and all that’s left of the Round Table are the leftovers, the ones that didn’t die.

While I enjoyed the chapters that focused on the characters’ backstories, I found it difficult to get into the actual quest at hand and by a third of the way into it, it started to drag for me.

The writing really engaged me in the beginning so I don’t think it has anything to do with the author’s style. I’m actually more keen than ever to read The Magicians trilogy, which is one of my favourite TV series.

I don’t think this is a case of this not being the book for me. I think it’s the right book at the wrong time. Once I read The Magicians trilogy, I don’t think you’ll be able to keep me away from it.

“The sword’s in the sea, and the last ship has sailed.”

Thank you so much to NetGalley and Del Rey, an imprint of Penguin Random House, for the opportunity to read this book.

Rating: 3.5 out of 5.

Once Upon a Blurb

When gifted young knight Collum arrives at Camelot to compete for a place on the Round Table, he quickly discovers that he’s too late: The king died two weeks ago at the Battle of Camlann, and only a handful of the knights of the Round Table are left.

And the survivors aren’t the heroes of legend either, like Lancelot or Gawain. They’re the oddballs of the Round Table, like Sir Palomides, the Saracen Knight, and Sir Dagonet, Arthur’s fool, who was knighted as a joke. They’re joined by Nimue, who was Merlin’s apprentice until she turned on him and buried him under a hill.

But it’s up to them to rebuild Camelot in a world that has lost its balance, even as God abandons Britain and the fairies and old gods are returning, led by Morgan le Fay. They must reclaim Excalibur and make this ruined world whole again.

But first they’ll have to solve the mystery of why the lonely, brilliant King Arthur fell.

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Dark Lord Davi #1: How to Become the Dark Lord and Die Trying – Django Wexler

Davi’s got attitude. But so would you if you’d done this over 230 times before and it ended with you being skewered or dissected or [insert your favourite manner of death here]. Every. Single. Time.

This time Davi’s trying something different. If you can’t beat them, become them?

“Hello, my friends! I am the next Dark Lord! Will you join me?”

I’m a big fan of time loops so I loved watching Davi try and fail over and over until she didn’t.

What I’m not a big fan of are books where the characters walk for a very long time, arrive at a destination, stay there for a bit for some action/drama, then walk some more. This meant there were entire chapters where, no matter who I met or what happened, my brain was on an ‘are we there yet?’ loop. My brain came back online once everyone stopped walking.

When I first read the blurb and decided that this was the book for me, I didn’t realise it was the first in a duology. This means you’re not getting all of the answers at the end of this book, or really any of the big ones. I enjoyed the end enough to want to keep reading, though.

I’m usually all for footnotes in novels and I was here too for a while. I continued to read them but they didn’t scream Bonus Content as much as I’d hoped.

What this book did scream was that the female main character was written by a man. I’m all for characters embracing their sexuality but Davi’s hypersexuality ended up making her feel more like a caricature than someone I could relate to.

Although the world literally revolves around Davi, I didn’t love her. Who I did love was Droff, a stone-eater who enjoys nothing more than counting.

I’m pretty sure I’ll end up being there for the second book. I’m hoping for more answers, less walking and more conversations with Droff.

Thank you so much to NetGalley and Orbit, an imprint of Little, Brown Book Group, for the opportunity to read this book.

Rating: 3.5 out of 5.

Once Upon a Blurb

Davi has done this all before. She’s tried to be the hero and take down the all-powerful Dark Lord. A hundred times she’s rallied humanity and made the final charge. But the time loop always gets her in the end. Sometimes she’s killed quickly. Sometimes it takes a while. But she’s been defeated every time.

This time? She’s done being the hero and done being stuck in this endless time loop. If the Dark Lord always wins, then maybe that’s who she needs to be. It’s Davi’s turn to play on the winning side. 

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Whales & Dolphins – Tom Jackson

My childhood answer to ‘If you could be an animal, what would you be?’ was a dolphin. Every time. I’ve never grown out of my love for them.

It makes my day whenever I get to see a pod of dolphins playing in the waves when I’m walking on the beach. I’ve come to love whales as well and look forward to seeing them migrate up and down the coast.

A photography book featuring whales, dolphins, other toothed whales and porpoises was always going to find me. I enjoyed the fun facts.

The water spout puffed from the blue whale’s nostril-like blowholes rises 10m (32.8ft) above the surface.

I was really here for the photography, though. The photos weren’t as jaw dropping as I’d hoped but I was introduced to a number of species I hadn’t heard of before. I’m currently most interested in meeting a Pacific white-sided dolphin.

Pacific white-sided dolphin
Photo credit: Louie Lea

Thank you so much to NetGalley and Amber Books for the opportunity to read this book.

Rating: 3.5 out of 5.

Once Upon a Blurb

Whales and dolphins alike are renowned for their intelligent nature and fascinating social rituals. Like us humans, they use vocalisations to communicate. They both have distinctive, streamlined body shapes and propel themselves through water using powerful tails and flippers. These magnificent mammals are frequently described as ‘sentinels’ of ocean health, providing key insight into marine dynamics and ecosystem quality. Whales are the largest marine mammals belonging to the Cetacea order (whales, dolphins and porpoises). Their incredible size continues to amaze us, the blue whale reaching an astounding 100ft (30.48 metres) and weighing as much as 200 tons. Dolphins, found in both oceans and freshwater, are actually classed as small-toothed whales. They are esteemed around the world for their sleek physical appearance and intriguing sounds used to communicate with each other. Did you know that porpoises are often shy creatures and therefore most of us will very rarely encounter them in the wild? Among their species is the vaquita, tragically the most endangered species of any whale, dolphin or porpoise. With full captions explaining the different species, behaviour and feeding habits, Whales & Dolphins is a vibrant look at these marine mammals in 180 vivid photographs.

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A Botanical Daughter – Noah Medlock

Simon does his work in the basement. His “cadaverous creations” range from social commentary to the whimsical.

It wasn’t his fault he was good at stuffing God’s creatures and posing them to lampoon the social mores of the day.

Gregor works in the light, cultivating floral and fungal wonders from near and far, guided by his imagination and innovative spirit.

He had better things to do – there was botany afoot.

Simon and Gregor have never had the opportunity to have a child. Until now. Their relationship is unconventional for the time and, as a result, secret. The same could be said of their daughter.

I’ve been obsessed with this cover since I first saw it. I also may have been a tad obsessed with the blurb.

Sometimes the reality of a book doesn’t line up with your expectations but that’s not the book’s fault and it’s not always the worst thing that could happen.

The writing was more poetic than I thought I’d find and that was a pleasant surprise. There was a formality to some of the writing, which I also didn’t expect, but that fit well with the time period in which the book takes place.

I was awed by the amount of research that must have gone into the potential repurposing of each plant. As someone who has successfully managed to kill an air fern, I’m clearly not the most horticulturally minded person. As a result, I sometimes glazed over when I encountered details that were beyond me.

I swear I will see the day when humans fully understand the botanical kingdom, and the botanical kingdom fully understands us.

I never really connected with Simon or Gregor but I had a soft spot for Jennifer. I wanted to spend more time with Rosalinda.

I spent the entire book waiting for hell to break loose and probably hyped it up too much in my mind. There was the body horror I’d hoped for but not as much as I’d wanted.

To be fair, I’m not sure there’d ever be enough body horror for me. At this point, I may be somewhat immune. I’ve just binged all of the Saw movies and wasn’t squeamish once. If you’re not as bloodthirsty as me, you’ll probably find the right amount of body horror here.

And, you never know, you may be invited to very-high tea.

Now all we can do is hope, pray, and water.

Thank you so much to NetGalley and Titan Books for the opportunity to read this book.

Rating: 3.5 out of 5.

Once Upon a Blurb

It is an unusual thing, to live in a botanical garden. But Simon and Gregor are an unusual pair of gentlemen. Hidden away in their glass sanctuary from the disapproving tattle of Victorian London, they are free to follow their own interests without interference. For Simon, this means long hours in the dark basement workshop, working his taxidermical art. Gregor’s business is exotic plants – lucrative, but harmless enough. Until his latest acquisition, a strange fungus which shows signs of intellect beyond any plant he’s seen, inspires him to attempt a masterwork: true intelligent life from plant matter.

Driven by the glory he’ll earn from the Royal Horticultural Society for such an achievement, Gregor ignores the flaws in his plan: that intelligence cannot be controlled; that plants cannot be reasoned with; and that the only way his plant-beast will flourish is if he uses a recently deceased corpse for the substrate.

The experiment – or Chloe, as she is named – outstrips even Gregor’s expectations, entangling their strange household. But as Gregor’s experiment flourishes, he wilts under the cost of keeping it hidden from jealous eyes. The mycelium grows apace in this sultry greenhouse. But who is cultivating whom?

Told with wit and warmth, this is an extraordinary tale of family, fungus and more than a dash of bloody revenge from an exciting new voice in queer horror.

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Robert Grim #1: HEX – Thomas Olde Heuvelt

Translator – Nancy Forest-Flier

“Nothing’s normal here.”

Katherine van Wyler was sentenced to death for witchcraft in 1664 but that’s not where her story ends. Hundreds of years later, the Black Rock Witch remains, her eyes and mouth sewn shut.

Once you move to Black Spring, you will never live anywhere else. The residents of this insular community are used to living alongside this emaciated, chained woman but they’ve been lulled into a false sense of security. If Katherine’s eyes ever open, her power will be unleashed.

This book has been on my radar for years and waited patiently on my Kindle for two. The upcoming release of the sequel gave me the perfect excuse to dive in and then I almost didn’t finish it. To be honest, if I hadn’t already committed to reviewing the sequel, I probably wouldn’t have.

“She’s not going to let you go. You live in Black Spring now. That means the curse is on you as well.”

It’s rare for a book to have a negative impact on me. Reading is my joy. Even when I read memoirs of people who have experienced the horrific, I find hope in their resilience.

This book, though, had a significant impact on my mental health. You could say it did its job, with the witch reaching out from the pages to infect me with her curse. It got to the point where, each time I started reading, I’d think ‘Abandon all hope, ye who enter here.’

But nothing was all right, nothing could ever be all right

I don’t think of myself as a reader with many rules. I’m happy to wander between genres and dip my toe into unfamiliar territory. Do what you want to the humans, especially if we’re in a slasher, and I’ll likely forgive you. I may even cheer you on. If you harm my fictional animals, though, we’re going to have a problem. I had a big problem with what the animals, one in particular, experienced in this book.

I don’t want you to think this wasn’t a good book. It was. It was well written. I got attached to a couple of the characters. I needed to know what hell was going to be unleashed once Katherine’s eyes opened. But wow, it really did a number on me.

“Peacocks. You know what that means, right?”

Rating: 3.5 out of 5.

Once Upon a Blurb

Whoever is born here, is doomed to stay until death. Whoever comes to stay, never leaves.

Welcome to Black Spring, the seemingly picturesque Hudson Valley town haunted by the Black Rock Witch, a seventeenth-century woman whose eyes and mouth are sewn shut. Blind and silenced, she walks the streets and enters homes at will. She stands next to children’s beds for nights on end. So accustomed to her have the townsfolk become that they often forget she’s there. Or what a threat she poses. Because if the stitches are ever cut open, the story goes, the whole town will die.

The curse must not be allowed to spread. The elders of Black Spring have used high-tech surveillance to quarantine the town. Frustrated with being kept in lockdown, the town’s teenagers decide to break the strict regulations and go viral with the haunting. But, in so doing, they send the town spiralling into a dark nightmare.

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Bird Life – Anna Smaill

Dinah’s twin brother, Michael, was a musical prodigy. She still sees him, even though she moved across the world after he died.

‘He built the world, and we both lived inside it. He made it up, and I believed him.’

Animals have spoken to Yasuko since she was 13. Her son has recently left home.

‘I am scared that it is happening again.’

When Dinah and Yasuko meet, they form a friendship, connected by their grief.

I was keen to explore the lives of these two women impacted by mental illness. Given the blurb and some early reviews, I was expecting magical realism and lines blurring reality and inner lives in turmoil.

I couldn’t wait to see how their friendship unfolded so became frustrated waiting for them to meet. The first part introduces you to each woman separately and their lives don’t intersect until the second part.

I didn’t connect with or particularly like either of the main characters. It’s weird, though, because I feel like I know them better than they know themselves and at the same time don’t really know them at all.

This book delves into grief and anger, and the frustration and pain that accompany them. One of the passages that has stayed with me speaks to how tiring grief is.

‘I think because when you lose someone, you have to relearn everything. You have to learn the whole world all over again. But the world without that person in it. That takes a lot of energy, and a very long time.’

It’s possible I stayed too close to this story’s surface and that if I’d dived deeper I would have gotten more out of it. What I was most looking forward to once Yasuko was able to hear animals speaking again was learning what the dog she and her son used to see every night was saying. I acknowledge this misses the point of the entire book but that’s the type of reader that I am.

I didn’t spend time trying to figure out what was real and what was a symptom of mental illness. As far as I was concerned, it was all real to the main characters and so I took the position of going there with them to try to better understand them.

Favourite no context quote:

‘You need to stop beating yourself up. The world is doing a great job of that without your help.’

Thank you so much to Scribe Publications for the opportunity to read this book.

Rating: 3.5 out of 5.

Once Upon a Blurb

In Ueno Park, Tokyo, as workers and tourists gather for lunch, the pollen blows, a fountain erupts, pigeons scatter, and two women meet, changing the course of one another’s lives.

Dinah has come to Japan from New Zealand to teach English and grieve the death of her brother, Michael, a troubled genius who was able to channel his problems into music as a classical pianist — until he wasn’t. In the seemingly empty, eerie apartment block where Dinah has been housed, she sees Michael everywhere, even as she feels his absence sharply.

Yasuko is polished, precise, and keenly observant — of her students and colleagues at the language school, and of the natural world. When she was thirteen, animals began to speak to her, to tell her things she did not always want to hear. She has suppressed these powers for many years, but sometimes she allows them to resurface, to the dismay of her adult son, Jun. One day, she returns home, and Jun has gone. Even her special gifts cannot bring him back.

As these two women deal with their individual trauma, they form an unlikely friendship in which each will help the other to see a different possible world, as Smaill teases out the tension between our internal and external lives and asks what we lose by having to choose between them.

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Words From Hell – Jess Zafarris

This isn’t your usual etymology book. Here you’ll find the histories of words relating to swearing, body parts and functions, sexuality, insults, slurs, racism, ableism, pirate talk, war and all things supernatural.

I found a few new favourites along the way, most notably brainsquirt, a word used about 350 years ago meaning “a feeble or abortive attempt at reasoning.” There’s also ignivomous, “spitting or vomiting fire”.

Then there were surprises, like discovering that in the 14th century, bowel meant tenderness or compassion.

The word “shark” (or “sharker”) first appeared in English in the 1400’s, and at that time it meant “scoundrel”, “villain” or “swindler”. It wasn’t a word for the animal in English until the 1700’s.

My favourite part of this book was the folktale about the jack-o’-lantern, where Jack successfully tricks Satan more than once, but at a price.

In hindsight, it probably would have been better if I’d dipped in and out of this book over a few weeks, reading about a handful of words each time. Reading from cover to cover, I ended up a bit bogged down.

Thank you so much to NetGalley and Chambers, an imprint of John Murray Press, for the opportunity to read this book.

Rating: 3.5 out of 5.

Once Upon a Blurb

The English language is where words go to be tortured and mutilated into unrecognisable shadows of their former selves. It’s where Latin, Greek, and Germanic roots are shredded apart and stitched unceremoniously back together with misunderstood snippets of languages snatched from the wreckage of conquest and colonialism. It wreaks merciless havoc upon grammar and spelling. It turns clinical terms into insults and children’s tales into filthy euphemisms.

With an emphasis on understanding where the foulest words in the English language came from – and the disgusting and hilarious histories behind them – this book demonstrates the true filth of our everyday words. But this book is more than just a list of vulgar words and salacious slang. It’s a thoughtful analysis of why we deem words as being inappropriate as well as revealing ‘good words’ that have surprisingly naughty origins.

Dirty-minded word nerds and lewd linguistics lovers will derive unadulterated pleasure in leering at the origins of swear words, sexual lingo, inappropriate idioms, violent vocabulary, and terminology for bodily functions – not to mention the unexpectedly foul origins of words you thought were perfectly innocent. If it’s inappropriate, stomach-churning, uncomfortable, or offensive, this book reaches into the dark recesses of history and exposes them for all to see.

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The Sisters Grimm #3: Child of Earth and Sky – Menna van Praag

It’s never too late to live a new life.

We last caught up with the Sisters Grimm when they were 21. While the first two books in the trilogy were everyone’s story, this one was mostly Goldie’s. And Luna’s. Goldie has an almost ten year old daughter now and she’s more powerful than any other sister.

I realise now that I’m not just a Grimm; not just a sister but a soldier too.

Goldie runs a women’s shelter with Teddy, her brother. I was surprised that Teddy worked there and was involved in the intake process. I also wasn’t always the hugest fan of the way the women at the shelter were spoken of.

Still, she can’t help but think of the women at the shelter and how much better their lives would’ve been if only they’d been taught to stand up for themselves earlier.

This reads to me like we’re blaming the victim and making them responsible for the behaviour of the perpetrator, and ignoring the ways they have resisted the violence perpetrated against them.

I’m realising more and more that while I’m all for justice and fairness, I’m not into vengeance so one element of the story didn’t sit well with me.

It is a story of love and loss and something strange and terrible to come – but exactly what isn’t clear.

This series is about sisterhood. It’s taking back your power, elemental magic and there’s an underground library! Why have I not known there’s a place where 900 years of magical literature live before now? I need to spend the next year or decade exploring it.

Alastair Meikle has illustrated the entire series and I always look forward to choosing a favourite. In this book it was the one that accompanies Luna’s story, The Good Girl.

In a pinch, you could read this book as a standalone. To get the most out of it, though, and to understand the characters’ individual backgrounds and their shared bond, I’d recommend reading them in order.

‘Soon you’ll be braver and stronger than you’ve ever believed possible.’

Thank you so much to NetGalley and Bantam Press, an imprint of Transworld Publishers, Penguin Random House UK, for the opportunity to read this book.

Rating: 3.5 out of 5.

Once Upon a Blurb

Born of bright-white wishing and black-edged desire, the Grimm girls each command a single element and wield it with great power. But a child born of a Grimm and a fallen star will have command over every element … and wield infinite power.

At twenty-one, Goldie gave birth to a daughter by her dead lover. Now Goldie is nearly thirty and Luna almost ten. Conceived in the realm between life and death, Luna is part star-soldier, part Grimm and now those opposing forces are waging war within her.

Terrified of losing her increasingly volatile child, Goldie goes on the run. Then an act of violence forces her to return and Luna is taken into care. Mother and child can still meet – in the haunted otherworld that is Everwhere.

Desperate to reclaim her daughter, Goldie must also confront whatever is corrupting Everwhere. For fresh leaves are falling, and Grimm girls are dying. Fearing the return of her father, Goldie knows she cannot succeed alone and summons her sisters.

But can the bonds of sisterhood bear the terrible price that will be paid …

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