Tag: Angry Robot

The Way Up is Death – Dan Hanks

When an impossible tower materialises in the sky above the UK, it quickly becomes a meme and is then pretty much ignored. Until a countdown begins and a single word, an instruction, appears.

ASCEND.

The tower, which cast a shadow over the town of Hope (read into that what you will), vanishes our 13 chosen ones from their everyday lives. Teleported to the base of the tower, their mission is clear. What’s not clear is the why, the who, the how or the what the fuck is going on.

I was anticipating the bloodshed. It is called The Way Up is Death, after all. This is escape room fun with a blend of pop culture and existentialism in a post pandemic world. There’s commentary; government, influencers, famous children’s book authors and AI are all up for grabs.

I’m pretty sure if I were one of the 13, I’d be thinking that if the way up is death, then maybe not ascending equals life. The tower has other ideas, though. Free will is not a constant companion up here.

I wasn’t expecting the bloodshed to be wrapped in a Matt Haig shaped hug. Early reviews warned me of the Matt Haig vibe and my initial thoughts were, ‘Surely not. This is going to be the horror/sci fi blend of my dreams.’

It was some of that but the readers before me were also right and I don’t know what to do with that disconnect, except to try to scrub it from my mind with the bloody entrails of those of the 13 who didn’t make it to the sentimental moments.

Like the tower giving the 13 clues to follow in order to ‘ascend’, I took the author’s descriptions of the characters at the beginning of the book as my own clues. A few characters were described in more detail than the others. They were the ones I paid the most attention to.

There’s Alden, a school teacher by day and musician by night, who’s weighed down by anxiety and grief. Nia is a talented designer that’s constantly spoken over and taken advantage of by her colleagues. Then there’s Dirk. Dirk’s a caricature who loves himself as intensely as you’re supposed to hate him.

The chapter titles sometimes acted as spoilers and although I absolutely adore the concept, the characters and different levels inside the tower weren’t fleshed out enough to entirely suck me in.

Although there wasn’t anyone I connected with enough to mourn, I enjoyed the interplay between the characters. The interactions often reminded me of Survivor, with some characters willing to make sacrifices while others would do whatever it takes to reach the top with a heartbeat.

I loved the connection with nature that flowed through the book and anticipating the dangers our chosen ones would encounter next.

“Go on then, nerds. Lead the way.”

Thank you so much to NetGalley and Angry Robot for the opportunity to read this book.

Once Upon a Blurb

When a mysterious tower appears in the skies over England, thirteen strangers are pulled from their lives to stand before it as a countdown begins. Above the doorway is one word: ASCEND.

As they try to understand why they’ve been chosen and what the tower is, it soon becomes clear the only way out of this for everyone is… up.

And so begins a race to the top with the group fighting to hold on to its humanity, through sinking ships, haunted houses and other waking nightmares. Can they each overcome their differences and learn to work together or does the winner take all? What does the tower want of them and what is the price to escape?

File Under: Pub Quiz | Die trying | It’s a trap | Game over, man

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These Deathless Shores – P.H. Low

This is Peter Pan, but not as you know it.

Hook is a once upon a time Lost Boy who was unceremoniously exiled (that’s putting it nicely) when she got her first period. Now an addict, she’s coming back to the Island with her ‘Twin’ because the Island has the drug she needs and the villain who’s overdue for some revenge.

The villain of this story is Peter. You know, Peter Pan. With laughter I heard in my head as Michael Jackson’s (yeah, my brain’s weird) and a bloodlust that probably shouldn’t have surprised me, this Peter deserves everything coming to him, and more. He’s an absolute asshole and I wouldn’t have lost any sleep if Jordan had pulled Peter’s skeleton from his body while he watched. I may have helped her.

In case it’s not obvious, this is not Disney, with its cutesy songs and pixie dust. Okay, there is pixie dust but its ingredients were not approved by Walt.

With a backdrop of feminist rage – being relegated to specific roles in society approved by the patriarchy, making yourself small in order to fit the mould – this is oftentimes a painful read. The legacy of childhood trauma, multifaceted and cruel, is at its heart, with battles waged both against others and internally.

“We become what we need to be in order to survive.”

Thank you so much to NetGalley and Angry Robot for the opportunity to read this book.

Rating: 4 out of 5.

Once Upon a Blurb

Jordan was once a Lost Boy, convinced she would never grow up.

Now, she’s twenty-two and exiled to the real world, still suffering withdrawal from the magic Dust of her childhood – and the drug she’s using to medicate that withdrawal is wreaking its final, fatal effects.

With nothing left to lose, Jordan returns to the Island and its stories – of pirates and war and the cruelty of youth – intent on facing Peter one last time, on her own terms.

But Peter isn’t the only malevolent force moving against her. As Jordan confronts the nature of Dust, first love, and the violent legacy carved into the land itself, she realises the Island may have plans of its own.

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Cover Reveal: The Way Up is Death – Dan Hanks

I am absolutely thrilled to be part of the cover reveal for The Way Up is Death by Dan Hanks.

I usually try not to let my desperation show quite as much as this but I desperately need this book in my life. Why?

I still get waves of nostalgia for Swashbucklers (review here), even though technically it was Cisco’s trip down memory lane, not mine.

My introduction to this book’s existence was when the author described it on Twitter as “Lost meets Squid Game meets the Poseidon Adventure meets haunted houses meets some trees.” He said that in February. I’ve needed this book in my life since February!

Then, there’s the blurb…

When a mysterious tower appears in the skies over England, thirteen strangers are pulled from their lives to stand before it as a countdown begins. Above the doorway is one word: ASCEND.

As a grieving teacher, a reclusive artist, and a narcissistic celebrity children’s author lead the others in trying to understand why they’ve been chosen and what the tower is, it soon becomes clear the only way out of this for everyone… is up.

And so begins a race to the top, through sinking ships, haunted houses and other waking nightmares, as the group fights to hold onto its humanity, while the twisted horror of why they’re here grows ever more apparent – and death stalks their every move.

You definitely should be convinced this is the book for you by now. If you have any niggling doubts whatsoever, check out the cover!

The Way Up is Death cover image

Get ready to ascend with me!

The Way Up is Death will be published by Angry Robot on 28 January 2025, in Paperback and eBook.

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The Redemption of Morgan Bright – Chris Panatier

This is a nightmare onion of a book, where every layer you peel away reveals something even more disturbing.

The DSM is now in its eleventh edition and the medical model’s pathologisation of mental health is alive and well. Flavour of the edition is domestic psychosis, proving once again that, no matter how far in the past the 1950’s are, there will be groups of people intent on replicating the worst parts of it.

Morgan Bright has recently been diagnosed with domestic psychosis so she’s the newest inmate patient at Hollyhock. Charlotte Andrew Turner arrives that day too. Their relationship is … complicated.

But I’m telling you, there’s something off with her.

I read 35 books between my first and second reads of this book; the reread was even better. I agonised over this review for months, trying to figure out the best way of shoving this book in your face and hollering ‘Read this!’ without including all of the things I need to talk about but can’t because spoilers. I have turned myself inside out over this, so much so that I’m convinced I can never visit Nebraska, just in case someone from Hollyhock finds me.

I loved trying to figure out Charlotte. This is probably the only time in my life that my thought process will be ‘Dissociative Identity Disorder? Nah, too easy. Tulpa?’ The fact that DID could ever be the easy option should give you a hint of the horrors that await you at Hollyhock.

This isn’t the type of thing you just dump on someone. I wouldn’t want your brain to collapse.

It’s all the more horrifying because the majority of the evils perpetrated against women in this book are committed by other women. This somehow makes it worse. If you see Enid in your travels, please be sure to take a cleansing breath and punch her for me.

This book is guilt, grief and paper dolls. The body horror is sublime and oh so squishy.

“It’s beautiful in that way.”

If you’ve read even a couple of my reviews, it’s likely you’ve heard about how I sent an email to the address listed in the book and it bounced back. Or that I visited the website only to discover it doesn’t exist. You may have witnessed me mumbling to myself about missed marketing opportunities. And if I ever write a book… And maybe one day…

Well, I’m here to tell you that one of my longest standing bookish dreams has come true! There’s a website mentioned in this book and it actually exists, and it’s glorious! Every time I think about it my smile becomes as wide as the women photographed on its pages. And I’m fine. Really. This is not an indication that you need to refer me to Hollyhock. Please don’t send me to Hollyhock!

So, is there a happily ever after? Why, yes, the book does have an ending. Thank you for asking.

Welcome to Hollyhock. Come for the food.* Stay for the twirling. We hope you survive enjoy your stay.

Thank you so much to NetGalley and Angry Robot for the opportunity to read this book.

* BYO coffee.

Rating: 5 out of 5.

Once Upon a Blurb

A woman checks herself into an insane asylum to solve the mystery of her sister’s murder, only to lose her memory and maybe her mind.

From the subversive voice behind The Phlebotomist comes a story that combines the uncanny atmosphere of Don’t Worry Darling with the narrative twists of The Last House on Needless Street.

What would guilt make you do? 

Hadleigh Keene died on the road leading away from Hollyhock Asylum. The reasons are unknown. Her sister Morgan blames herself. A year later with the case still unsolved, Morgan creates a false identity, that of a troubled housewife named Charlotte Turner, and goes inside. 

Morgan quickly discovers that Hollyhock is… not right. She is shaken by the hospital’s peculiar routines and is soon beset by strange episodes. All the while, the persona of Charlotte takes on a life of its own, becoming stronger with each passing day. As her identity begins unraveling, Morgan finds herself tracing Hadleigh’s footsteps and peering into the places they lead.   

The terrifying reality of The Redemption of Morgan Bright unfolds over the course of chapters told from the points of view of both Charlotte and Morgan, police interviews, and text messages. 

File Under: Horror [ Twirl With Them | Sisterly Bond | It’s a Doozy | Be Careful What You Wish For ]

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The Splendid City – Karen Heuler

Eleanor was in the process of learning witchcraft when she turned her coworker into a cat. It doesn’t matter that her reasons were valid; she behaved in a manner most uncovenly and now she’s living with the consequences. This means she’s stuck living with said cat, whose metamorphosis didn’t magically improve his personality.

Eleanor and Stan are now in Liberty, which once upon a time was Texas. Before it seceded, that is. Now it has animatronic presidential heads and people are whisked off in vans, presumably never to be seen again. There’s nougat, which is nice, but there’s also a water shortage, which isn’t.

Eleanor has been tasked with finding a missing witch. Stan, when he’s not scrounging up fish tacos and beer, is on a treasure hunt.

I was keen to find out how a story with a witch who turns a detestable coworker into a cat would play out. I’m now wondering if I wasn’t in the right frame of mind for this read.

I appreciated the political commentary and satire. I was interested in learning how witchcraft worked in this dystopia, but didn’t connect with any of the witches.

I thought I’d be amused by insufferable, newly feline Stan as he tried to make his way in the world but I hated him. It wasn’t the fun type of hate, though, where you love to hate someone. I love villains when they’re complex and especially when they’re accidentally good some of the time, but if Stan had any redeeming qualities, I didn’t find them. In the end, I didn’t want to spend any time with him.

The story is told in three parts. The second, which addresses how Eleanor became a witch and Stan became a cat, felt like one big info dump.

I’d encourage you to read the five star reviews because there are people that absolutely love this book. Unfortunately, this wasn’t the book for me.

Thank you so much to NetGalley and Angry Robot for the opportunity to read this book.

Rating: 3 out of 5.

Once Upon a Blurb

A genre-blending story of modern witchcraft, a police state and unique characters, for fans of Alice Hoffman and Madeline Miller.

In the state of Liberty, water is rationed, free speech comes at a price, and paranoia runs deep. Eleanor, a rebellious young witch, has been put under house arrest with her lecherous co-worker Stan, who loves craft beer, fish tacos, and… shooting people.

Eleanor has little time for Stan. That’s why she turned him into a talking cat. Besides, she’s got a job to do: locate a missing witch who seems to be mysteriously linked to the water shortages. But she might want to keep an eye on Stan – he’s caught the scent of a treasure hunt, and won’t hesitate to give up Eleanor to get his paws on the prize. 

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Stringers – Chris Panatier

Horny insects and tick tocks1. Are they both now wandering aimlessly around your brain? Welcome to Ben Sullivan’s world2.

Ben’s brain is chock-a-block with super helpful fun facts that are entirely appropriate to discuss with any audience, like hermaphroditic traumatic insemination3.

So, our Ben. Is he one of those people with an obsession that’s laser focused on very specific, not so mainstream topics? Sort of, but his obsession isn’t about bug sex or timepieces, although to hear him talk, you may beg to differ. No, our Ben’s obsession is about how the hell he knows so much detailed information about topics he’s never actually researched. He has no idea how he knows what he knows and it’s not for lack of trying to figure it out. 

Every waking moment is a constant barrage of intrusive thoughts with even the most innocuous stimuli churning up commentary from deep within the folds of my brain. 

Sounds exhausting, right? 

And it’s exhausting. 

Good thing Ben has quite possibly the most understanding best friend in all the worlds, Patton4.

This is the story of the Shopkeeper and the Pipefitter. There’s also Insectoid Boba Fett and some other folk that are out of this world. Then you’ve got some VIP’s5, expert level LEGO and the Fray6 to look forward to7.

Ben is a man after my own heart. 

I subscribed to the canceling-out method of eating, where you eat as much junk as you want, so long as you cancel it out with something healthy. 

And, let’s be honest. Doesn’t knowing that the water boatman has been certified by Guinness as having the World’s Loudest Penis enrich your life?

This read was so much fun. It gave me the action and the humour I was hoping for but then it went above and beyond, granting me a new favourite swear combo8.

The best advice I can give you as you prepare to spend some quality time with Ben? Whatever you do, don’t cross the tubes.

The other best advice I can give you? Stay tuned after the book for the acknowledgements. Included are a list of bands the author listened to as this story journeyed from their brain to the page. If you need me I’ll be hanging out in the forest with Jonathan Hultén. When I return I’ll be making my way through the rest of the list.

Thank you so much to NetGalley and Angry Robot for the opportunity to read9 this book10.

  1. The telling time variety.
  2. It’s a world with lots of swearing so if you’re not a fan, perhaps this isn’t the book for you. And you may want to avoid the rest of this review while you’re at it.
  3. Which give the term fucked in the head a whole new meaning. 
  4. Handy hint: We love Patton.
  5. Very Important Pickles.
  6. Not the band.
  7. This book should also probably come with a warning for people who have emetophobia. If that’s you, look away. Now. 
  8. Shitfuck. One word. Use it in a sentence today. I have.
  9. Did I mention this book has footnotes?
  10. So many footnotes.

Rating: 5 out of 5.

Once Upon a Blurb

Knowledge can get you killed. Especially if you have no idea what it means.

Ben is NOT a genius, but he can spout facts about animals and wristwatches with the best of experts. He just can’t explain how he knows any of it.

He also knows about the Chime. What it is or why it’s important he couldn’t say. But this knowledge is about to get him in a whole heap of trouble.

After he and his best friend Patton are abducted by a trash-talking, flesh-construct alien bounty hunter, Ben finds out just how much he is worth… and how dangerous he can be. Hopefully Patton and a stubborn jar of pickles will be enough to help him through. Because being able to describe the mating habits of Brazilian bark lice isn’t going to save them.

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Swashbucklers – Dan Hanks

Nostalgia for the win! When they were kids, Cisco and his friends fought an 8-bit war against an evil pirate and saved the world. Cisco is the only one who remembers what really happened; for everyone else, a gas leak was responsible for the Halloween ‘89 mayhem. 

“Look, honey, that’s the bloke from the bedtime stories your mum tells you. The gas leak boy, I told you he was real!” 

Supernatural fans know ‘gas leak’ is code for ‘whatever it was, it sure as hell wasn’t a gas leak’.

Now all grown up with children of their own, it’s time for the sequel because, as I’m sure you’re very well aware, sometimes the Big Bad doesn’t stay dead. Except it’s not quite as easy saving the world when your joints creak and you’re having to navigate the joys of parenthood while you’re dusting off your custom made game console weapons. It turns out that nostalgia can be deadly. 

“Why the hell did you decide that us four, ordinary, slightly unfit, middle-aged human nobodies could take on this momentous challenge again and get it right this time?” 

This is one of my favourite reads of the year and the perfect way to get you into the spirit for so many important holidays: Halloween, Christmas, Talk Like a Pirate Day… It’s also the movie I need to see. Outside of my head, that is. There’s a talking fox, a secret room behind a bookcase (be still my beating heart), enchanted forest (“Technically, all forests are enchanted-”), faeries that are bitey and priceless news headlines. 

Bizarre attack in Manchester as costumed cannibal snowman partially EATS homeowner. 

It was the Ghostbusters/Goonies mashup I never knew I needed and I loved every minute. I could almost hear the soundtrack playing during the action sequences. This may have been Cisco’s trip down memory lane but I felt like I grew up there too. 

“Bloody nostalgia” 

Thank you so much to NetGalley and Angry Robot for the opportunity to relive my childhood through this book.

Rating: 5 out of 5.

Once Upon a Blurb

When Cisco Collins returns to his home town thirty years after saving it from being swallowed by a hell mouth opened by an ancient pirate ghost, he realises that being a childhood hero isn’t like it was in the movies.

Especially when nobody remembers the heroic bits – even the friends who once fought alongside him.

Struggling with single parenting and treated as bit of a joke, Cisco isn’t really in the Christmas spirit like everyone else. A fact that’s made worse by the tendrils of the pirate’s powers creeping back into our world and people beginning to die in bizarre ways. 

With the help of a talking fox, an enchanted forest, a long-lost friend haunting his dreams, and some 80s video game consoles turned into weapons, Cisco must now convince his friends to once again help him save the day. Yet they quickly discover that being a ghostbusting hero is so much easier when you don’t have schools runs, parent evenings, and nativity plays to attend. And even in the middle of a supernatural battle, you always need to bring snacks and wipes…

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