Tag: Final Girl

I Was a Teenage Slasher – Stephen Graham Jones

I Was a Teenage Slasher cover image, featuring a belt

I will never tire of final girls. Against all odds, they have what it takes to survive. But for every final girl running for their life, there’s a slasher casually walking behind them and I’d be lying if I said there wasn’t a part of me cheering the slasher on. (Unless the final girl is Jade Daniels. She’s off limits.)

The body count can never be too high. The river of blood should be cascading. The more organs on show, the better.

I love watching slashers follow and, every so often, break the rules. I search every scene for potential weapons. Horror movie soundtracks tend to earworm their way through my life. (My texts tell me Jason is nearby. The Halloween theme is my ringtone.)

I always want to know what makes the slasher tick, though, and it’s not like they’re the chattiest bunch so a lot is usually left to my imagination. I get the flashback scene so I know what those camp counsellors were up to when they should have been making sure Jason’s lungs weren’t filing with water. Jason now? He’s doing some walking and some killing but he’s not exactly inviting me to sit in on his therapy sessions.

What makes him a slasher and not someone else? Someone like me?

Schting!

That’s where Tolly comes in. This is his story.

Places to be, people to eviscerate.

This is also Amber’s story. Tolly is writing this for his best friend, who he hasn’t seen for half a lifetime. While Tolly didn’t even know what a slasher was before all of this started, Amber knows all of the rules.

This time, we get to see insides become outsides from the slasher’s POV and with Tolly talking me through it, I finally got the inside scoop (sorry!) I’ve been waiting for. Tolly isn’t quite who I was expecting, though.

He’s a slasher with heart. No, not one he ripped from the chest of one of his victims. One who has the ability to make me tear up, because he’s just so relatable and I want everything to turn out well for him. (Is there ever going to be a Stephen Graham Jones book that doesn’t make me cry?)

These kids are my kind of outcasts. The fact that they’ve been cast in this genre is just a bonus.

Favourite no context quote:

If she’d had sad eyes earlier, then now what she was about to tell me was that the moon was hurtling toward the Earth, and our only shot at stopping it was to catapult all the Earth’s puppies up at it.

Thank you so much to NetGalley and Titan Books for the opportunity to read this book.

Rating: 5 out of 5.

Once Upon a Blurb

1989, Lamesa, Texas. A community driven by oil and cotton – a town where everyone knows everyone else’s business. 

Tolly Driver, seventeen, a good kid with more potential than application, exists on the outskirts with his best friend, Amber. They navigate the hellscape of the teenage social scene, sticking together in a place that doesn’t know how to be different.

But when they go to a fateful party at Deek Masterton’s house – a party that ends in a series of gruesome, brutal and extravagant murders – Tolly’s world gets flipped upside-down. Because some slashers are born in violence and retribution, some were born that way – and some were just in the wrong place, at the wrong time…

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You’re Not Supposed to Die Tonight – Kalynn Bayron

I SURVIVED THE NIGHT AT CAMP MIRROR LAKE

When we meet Charity, she’s in the process of surviving her third summer at Camp Mirror Lake. Camp Mirror Lake was the location for the 1983 movie, The Curse of Camp Mirror Lake. Now it’s the location for a “full-contact terror-simulation experience” based on the movie.

Charity is basically living her best horror life; as the Final Girl, she’s the last one standing every night. Bonus points for her job giving her somewhere other than her home to be all summer.

Charity and her team of seven spend their nights terrorising whoever wants to pay for the privilege. Well, it used to be Charity and her team of seven. Some of the team recently stopped showing up to work.

Luckily, during one of the only times reception was good enough to make a phone call, Charity was able to call in some fresh victims reinforcements. Bezi is Charity’s girlfriend. She wears her heart on her sleeve but hopefully not literally. She does know she’s just walked into a slasher, doesn’t she?

“Oh, honey. You’re going to die out here, and there’s not a damn thing you can do about it.”

Then there’s Paige, who knows all of the scary stories so maybe she’s Randy from Scream. She’s also a reporter, so I guess she’s Gale Weathers as well. Charity is obviously Sidney Prescott.

I matched a few other characters with their Scream equivalents but this is not that franchise. It’s a slasher but then it’s also something else so, while I figured out who the Big Bad was early on, it wasn’t until everything began to unfold that I had any idea what form their monologue would take. While I don’t have any specific unanswered questions about the direction it went, I would have liked the story behind this to have been fleshed out more.

This was a quick, entertaining read. As someone who celebrates every Friday the 13th, this felt like a homage but the soon to be slaughtered characters were trying to survive a horror that wasn’t Jason shaped at all.

I absolutely adored Fernanda Suarez’s cover image. It’s what drew me to the book in the first place and what kept reminding me I needed it in my life.

This is my first book by this author. I don’t expect it to be my last.

“It’s all fun and games until you’re dead.”

Rating: 4 out of 5.

Once Upon a Blurb

Charity Curtis has the summer job of her dreams, playing the “final girl” at Camp Mirror Lake. Guests pay to be scared in this full-contact terror game, as Charity and her summer crew recreate scenes from a classic slasher film, Curse of Camp Mirror Lake. The more realistic the fear, the better for business.

But in the last weekend of the season, Charity’s co-workers begin disappearing. And when one ends up dead, Charity’s role as the final girl suddenly becomes all too real. If Charity and her girlfriend Bezi hope to survive the night, they’ll need to figure out what this killer is after. Is there more to the story of Mirror Lake and its dangerous past than Charity ever suspected?

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