Illustrations – Alfredo Cáceres
Your skin will harden, your bangs will burn, your minds will be trapped in a psychological prison of broken mirrors and strange echoes
Sound like fun? Come on in! The duck pond’s fine!
Narrated by Dr Candlestank, a mad scientist who gave me these vibes for some reason …
… this is the story of the Porch sisters.
The Porch sisters aren’t like the rest of their family, not the least because their names don’t include Lavinia. It might also have something to do with their interests.
Eugenia likes rocks and explosions. Dee-Dee is mechanically minded. Gertrude is an entomologist in the making who has questions, like “what makes the purple feathers on pigeons sparkle and what makes soap bubbles have rainbows in them and where does a newt lay eggs and do cat whiskers feel anything and are guinea pigs related to pigs and how is a chilli pepper hot and things like that.”
Good questions, the answers of which are not going to be found at Mrs Wintermacher’s School of Etiquette for Girls. If only there was a school that catered to the strange and unusual…
Meet Millicent Quibb. Strange. Unusual. Mad scientist.
“Look – I know I’m ‘scary’ and my house is ‘a hoard’ and there are ‘tarantulas everywhere’. I’m not ‘good with children’ and I don’t ‘have social skills’. I was ‘kicked out of etiquette school when I was young’ and now I’m ‘a pariah’.”
Did I mention she runs a school? The Porch sisters are in need of a school and Millicent is in need of, well…
“So you want us, a group of children with no skills at all, to help you protect the town against a hidden organisation of evil mad scientists?”
“Yes. You’re finally getting it.”
We’re doomed! Or are we?
I’m very aware of the pushback against children’s books written by celebrities and I usually bypass them. This one grabbed my attention, though. Adult me enjoyed it but not quite as much as kid me would have, probably in part because I kept thinking of all of the kid’s books on my TBR pile that aren’t written by celebrities.
Putting that aside for a moment, this madcap adventure (with footnotes) felt similar to my first read of Roald Dahl books when I was a kid, over the top bonkers fun. Alfredo Cáceres’ illustrations helped amplify the quirky.
I loved seeing outcasts being true to themselves, refusing to be squished into boxes that conform to society’s expectations.
“We are about to embark on a long, dangerous mission for which none of us is qualified.”
Thank you so much to NetGalley and HarperCollins Children’s Books for the opportunity to read this book.
Once Upon a Blurb
Gertrude, Eugenia, and Dee-Dee Porch do not belong. They don’t belong in the snooty town of Antiquarium, where the only dog allowed is the bichon frise. They don’t belong with their adoptive family, where all their cousins are named Lavinia. And after getting kicked out of the last etiquette school that would take them, the girls expect to be sent away for good… until they receive a mysterious invitation.
Suddenly the girls are under the tutelage of the infamous Millicent Quibb – a mad scientist with worms in her hair and oysters in her bathtub. Dangerous? Yes! More fun than they’ve ever had? Absolutely! But when the sisters are asked to save their town from an evil cabal of mad scientists, they must learn to embrace what has always made them stand out – before it’s too late!
Perfect for fans of Roald Dahl and Lemony Snicket’s A Series of Unfortunate Events, The Millicent Quibb School of Etiquette for Young Ladies of Mad Science is the unbelievably hilarious, madcap adventure debut from comedic superstar Kate McKinnon – an unforgettable and laugh-out-loud funny story, and a warm-hearted celebration of individuality, imagination, and eccentricity.
Schizanthus Nerd 