Tag: Sexual Assault

No Virgin – Anne Cassidy

Spoiler Alert!

I feel like I need to start this review with a content warning for the rape scene. If you’ve picked up this book and read the blurb you know it’s coming and if you haven’t read the blurb the first sentence of the book tells you it’s coming. Still, if this is a trigger for you please be safe while reading this book. If you don’t read any further and you’ve experience sexual assault, please know you are not alone and it was not your fault!

This is such an important book. Anne Cassidy has written a book about a serious topic but I enjoyed reading it, except for the rape scene but that’s a no brainer. Of course I wasn’t going to enjoy that bit. Anne made me care about Stacey, her main character, and I felt like I was being let in on Stacey’s private thoughts and experiences. Stacey wasn’t a cardboard cutout character. She had depth. She was real. I could imagine being friends with her if I went to her school.

SPOILER WARNING + maybe just the slightest chance of a therapy session worthy rant to follow

I’m absolutely incensed with the rape in this book, and that’s a good thing. Why? I wouldn’t want to be able to read a book written this well about such a painful subject and not feel, not cry, not want to punch at least one person. It made me want to vomit and I wanted to physically attack both Marty and Harry. Because Anne Cassidy has done a brilliant job with this book and with this subject matter you should have a visceral reaction reading it. Anne’s definitely done something right to get me this riled up.

I don’t know who I hated more, Marty for raping Stacey or Harry for grooming Stacey for his brother. I don’t know. Maybe let’s call it a tie and say they deserve equal amounts of venom.

I appreciated that the set up for this rape wasn’t cut and dry. Stacey had said yes to Harry, but not to Marty. She’d willingly gone alone to a stranger’s apartment with a stranger. She’d been drinking earlier in the day. The reason why I’m glad this was the scenario? So I could say that regardless of every single one of these factors, nothing Stacey did or didn’t do causes any blame to fall on her. She did not give consent so not one of those other details count. She was raped, no ifs, ands or buts. No matter what the circumstance, sexual assault is never the victim’s fault. 100% of the responsibility lies with the perpetrator.

This will sound so weird but hold on; I’ll clarify. I was so glad that Harry’s character was just another school kid, although a rich one, that he had personality plus, he was interested in Stacey’s designs, he offered to help make her dream of being a fashion designer come one step closer … He was a nice guy!

That’s important because despite what the media tells us and what is easier to believe, the majority of sex offenders aren’t dirty old men with trench coats. Sex offenders are peoples’ family, friends, neighbours, workmates, male and female – ordinary people who you would probably like if you had a conversation with them and didn’t know their history. It’s important for young people reading this book to know this!

This book was realistic. Stacey’s dissociation during the rape, her response afterward, her hesitancy at telling anyone, especially the Police … all normal reactions to a horrific experience.

I was so sad that Stacey didn’t feel she could go to her family with this but loved that Stacey had a friend who supported her after she found out about the rape. I love that Patrice recommended Stacey talk to someone at a Rape Crisis Centre. Rape Crisis Centre workers are by and large the most empathetic, understanding, supportive, caring individuals you will ever come across. Nothing you say will shock them as they’ve heard it all before and they will believe you.

I’m a bit ambivalent about Patrice using the “If you don’t report him to the Police, how will you feel if he does it to someone else?” argument, but totally understand why she did it. It’s a difficult thing as a support person to not want to say that sentence because you care about your friend/loved one and you don’t want anyone else to experience what they’re going through. It’s a really tough one, whether to report or not to report, and it’s an individual choice.

The person who has experienced sexual assault often feels more than enough self blame and shame (although they’re not to blame and have done nothing worthy of shame) in the aftermath of their assault without having the guilt of not protecting innumerable other potential victims on their conscience. I’m all for getting offenders off the streets but with such low conviction rates, even reporting a sexual assault to try to protect future victims may not even work because in reality there’s the chance charges may not even be laid. Having said that, if they’ve assaulted you chances are they’ve already done it to at least one other person and they’re likely to continue assaulting more people after you.

Please hear that I’m not saying you should or shouldn’t report to the Police but pressure from other people one way or another adds to an already seemingly unbearable weight. There is no one size fits all answer. I’ve done both (reported to the Police and not reported to the Police) but I still couldn’t begin to tell you what you should do in this situation. I know the benefits and pitfalls of both choices.

I want all young people to read this book. It’s an important educational tool for those who haven’t experience sexual assault. It’s also important for those who have because it says, “You are not alone”, “It was not your fault”, that talking about what happened can help. I loved that this book ends with Stacey taking the first steps toward healing. I was cheering her on the whole time. Well done, Anne! You’ve taken such a difficult topic to talk and write about and left the reader with hope.

So, after this rant, do I want to read the sequel? You bet I do! I can’t wait to read about how Stacey takes her power back and I look forward to seeing those brothers get what’s coming to them. Oh, I hope they get what’s coming to them! I’m emotionally invested in Stacey and I need to travel the next part of her story with her. If I had the sequel with me I’d be starting it immediately but since it hasn’t been released yet (come on, September!!) I think I’ll relax with a nice, calming, sweet children’s book instead.

Rating: 5 out of 5.

Once Upon a Blurb

My name is Stacey Woods and I was raped.

Stacey is the victim of a terrible sexual attack. She does not feel able to go to the police, or talk about it to anybody other than her best friend, Patrice. Patrice, outraged, when she cannot persuade her to go to the police, encourages Stacey to write everything down. This is Stacey’s story.

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Epic Fail – Cristy Watson

Spoilers Ahead!

Jared, Bree and Kenzie have been friends for a long time, until the events that took place at a party two years ago. Jared knew his brother planned this party with his Year 12 friends with the sole purpose of having sex with as many Year 9 girls as possible. Apparently these get togethers are a common occurrence. Jared fails to warn his friends and Kenzie is raped at the party. Jared’s guilt comes to a head when a photo of Kenzie from the night she was raped is posted on social media.

Before reading this book I’d never heard of a Hi-Lo book. For those as in the dark as I was, Hi-Lo are high-interest, low-readability books; basically books with more mature themes for reluctant readers if my understanding is correct. I love the concept. Anything that helps non-readers become readers is something to be applauded in my world.

I felt this book had potential as it addressed rape culture. It saddens and horrifies me that rape is so prevalent in society that it has its own culture. I’m not sure you can ever say that you enjoy a book where the central theme is sexual assault but in the context of a Hi-Lo book, I think the author did a good job.

I liked that this story is told from the point of view of a 16 year old boy. The majority of books I’ve read about sexual assault are told primarily from a female perspective. I like that at the end of the book the author listed some website resources. I didn’t really find a connection with any of the characters, although that may be in part because this was a quick read and as such there wasn’t the opportunity to get to know the characters as well as you do in longer novels.

I can understand Jared questioning why Kenzie never reported what happened to her. Until you’ve been there you don’t know what you’d do in that situation and there is no right or wrong answer. Some people report. Others don’t. I can understand both sides.

I appreciated the growth shown in Jared’s character throughout the book and how he kept trying to reach out to Kenzie. Jared talks about how useful the mediation training sessions he’s been attending have been but I would have liked to hear more about what he learned so readers could take something else away from the book.

I felt as though some of language attributed to the teens in the book didn’t work for the target audience or as examples of how young people speak. I’m not sure 15 and 16 year olds would be using terms like ‘young man’ used to describe a teenager in a video, or ‘compromising photos’ used to describe nude selfies or revenge porn. Also, some of the conversations read like they belonged in a pamphlet found in a counsellor’s office, not coming out of the mouths of teens.

It really frustrated me that while the author mentioned Kenzie was getting slut shamed on social media, the photograph in question constituted child pornography and no one did anything about it. While the focus is on Kenzie’s rape, there’s all of this blame from the characters towards Bree. Yes, Bree made really bad decisions, but… Maybe there are different laws where the author lives but where I come from a 14 year old girl is not old enough to legally be able to give consent so even if she was all for it, it’s still statutory rape.

I would have liked to have seen at least one person other than the victims experience consequences. Cam gets away with raping Kenzie. Seth gets away with physically abusing Jared, the statutory rape of Bree, and the production and distribution of child pornography. Who knows how many unnamed Year 12 boys raped how many unnamed Year 9 girls at their parties. Countless people in social media land do nothing when they see child pornography being distributed except shame the victim. Bree distributed child pornography and deserves to go down in history as being one of the worst friends ever. Jared’s father gets away with the blatant neglect of his son. No one at the school appears to even acknowledge the fact that Kenzie barely attends. I could probably go on, but that’s enough frustration at the lack of accountability.

Thank you very much to NetGalley and Lorimer Children & Teens for the opportunity to read this book. I’d recommend watching Audrie & Daisy to anyone interested in a great documentary that complements the themes of this book quite well.

Rating: 2 out of 5.

Once Upon a Blurb

Epic Fail tells the story of Kenzie, a 16-year-old half Native American girl, and her two best friends, who have grown up in a multiracial, mixed-income suburb. Two years after a party where Kenzie was raped, she is still dealing with the trauma. When photos of the incident appear on social media there are serious consequences for everyone involved.

This book tells a tough but realistic story about teen relationships and sexual assault and how social media plays a role in magnifying its impact.

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What Does Consent Really Mean? – Pete Wallis & Thalia Wallis

Illustrations – Joseph Wilkins

This graphic novel is a great introduction to a vitally important topic. I wish something similar had been available when I was growing up. I’d love to see it provided to students during sex ed classes in schools. The graphic novel format is much more inviting than the photocopied notes that were painfully plentiful last century when I was at school.

The discussion questions and resources at the end would be useful as a jumping off point to aid teachers in facilitating classroom discussions. I could see this book being used by parents to help them bring up this topic with their children and also to inform parents about the issues that affect kids today that they may not have had to deal with when they were growing up due to changes in technology. Even school leavers may find this book useful as issues surrounding consent don’t magically disappear once you reach adulthood.

This book dispels many myths surrounding what is and isn’t consent in a clear, conversational way. There are some parts that read more like adults talking than teenagers but I’m not sure this can be completely avoided. By touching on various scenarios relevant to consent, including perspectives of males and females, and making the point that the need for consent is the same regardless of a person’s sexuality, this book gives the reader enough of an overview to be able to apply what they’ve read to scenarios they may face in their own lives (or bring clarity to what they may have already experienced).

One of the resources listed at the end of the book is a YouTube video that explains consent so well that I think it complements this book perfectly.

Thank you very much to NetGalley and Jessica Kingsley Publishers for the opportunity to read this book.

Rating: 4 out of 5.

Once Upon a Blurb

“Consent is not the absence of ‘NO’, it is an enthusiastic YES!!”

While seemingly straightforward, Tia and Bryony hadn’t considered this subject too seriously until it comes up in conversation with their friends and they realise just how important it is.

Following the sexual assault of a classmate, a group of teenage girls find themselves discussing the term consent, what it actually means for them in their current relationships, and how they act and make decisions with peer influence. Joined by their male friends who offer another perspective, this rich graphic novel uncovers the need for more informed conversations with young people around consent and healthy relationships.

Accompanying the graphics are sexual health resources for students and teachers, which make this a perfect tool for broaching the subject with teens.

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Sunshine is Forever – Kyle T. Cowan

Um, is it politically incorrect to say you enjoyed a book about depressed teens who have attempted suicide? Oh, well, here goes … I really enjoyed reading Sunshine is Forever.

Growing up reading The Baby-Sitters Club books I was determined to go to camp in America and have fun with a bunch of new friends from camp like Kristy and co. Even after watching all of the Friday the 13th movies I still wanted to be a camp counsellor. Much to my dismay I never went to camp as a kid or counsellor, but find me a book about teenagers going to camp, any camp, and I want to read it.

So, here we are at Camp Sunshine which incidentally leaned closer to Friday the 13th (minus the sex) than BSC. In fact, had Jason shown up to deal with Asshole Jim around the time of his introduction I probably would have happily provided him with directions and a mug shot.

I would hope that Camp Sunshine would never get accreditation to open in the first place because other than half an hour of token therapy a day, the workers may as well have been singing Kumbaya with the kids for all the good they were doing. A padded cell used as punishment? Really??? I kept thinking as I was reading this book, ‘please don’t let this resemble the way mental health is dealt with in America’, but having seen some documentaries about American LGBTQ conversion therapy I wondered how far from the truth it actually was.

My time reading this book was divided between smiling at Hunter’s observations and monikers he chose for his family, friends and prison guards (oops, sorry, therapy staff) and sadness at the situation all of these teenagers were in. With themes including guilt, forgiving ourselves and others, and taking responsibility for our actions there were obviously going to be portions of the book that were very difficult to read but like witnessing an imminent train crash I couldn’t look away. I had to know if the crash was going to happen or if there’d be a near miss.

Hunter’s conviction that it was only through Corin’s love and acceptance of him that he could be happy was both sad and believable. It’s much easier to assign roles for other people to attempt to make them responsible for the outcome of our lives than to look inside and take responsibility for ourselves.

I spent most of the book waiting as patiently as possible to find out what secrets were hidden in Corin’s thick green file and wasn’t surprised at their theme when all was revealed. However hard it was to read I did like the symmetry it set up between Corin and Hunter. While the noose around Hunter’s stomach was guilt, Corin’s noose was shame.

I loved the point made that you get out of therapy what you’re willing to put in to it. I would’ve really liked to have read that miscalculations had been renamed at the end in conjunction with Hunter taking responsibility for his actions, but that’s essentially nitpicking.

I liked that some things were left undone at the end. It wouldn’t have worked as well if everything was wrapped up with a pretty bow. Life’s messy and while we’d love to believe in them, Insta-Fixes aren’t as plentiful as we’d like to think.

I felt this one sentence summed up depression better than the DSM-5 could ever hope to:

“If you knew me, you probably wouldn’t like me, either.”

Thank you very much to NetGalley and Inkshares for the opportunity to read this book.

Rating: 5 out of 5.

Once Upon a Blurb

After a life-changing decision, Hunter decides that he can’t go on …

… which lands him in Camp Sunshine, a rehab center for depressed teens. Hunter is determined to keep everyone there out of his head, especially his therapist. But when he meets Corin, a beautiful, mysterious, and confident fellow camper, all Hunter wants to do is open up to her, despite the fact that he’s been warned Corin is bad news.

When Corin devises a plan for them to break out of the camp, Hunter is faced with the ultimate choice — will he run from the traumatic incident he’s tried so hard to escape, or will he learn that his mistakes have landed him right where he’s meant to be?

Sunshine is Forever captures the heartbreaking spirit of The Fault in Our Stars, the humor of Orange is the New Black, and the angst of Catcher in the Rye.

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