Tag: Quirk Books

Illustrations – Eugene Smith

Standing barefoot on the fourth floor ledge of the school while it’s snowing wasn’t the plan but Glenn had the bright idea to go explore the mansion and here we are. Anyway, it’s the perfect excuse to get out of Lovecraft Middle School’s Valentine’s Day concert. They’re singing all things lovey dovey in there.

Ms Lavinia, the school librarian and one of the only adults the boys know they can trust, isn’t in the library today. Something doesn’t smell right and it’s not just her replacement’s perfume. Miss Carcasse isn’t exactly the most positive person to be stranded with in a snowstorm either.

“In the end, your actions have no meaningful consequences. Your fates were decided long ago.”

I usually try to read a themed book for Valentine’s Day but this year I hadn’t found one in time. Imagine my delight when I discovered that most of this book takes place on Valentine’s Day!

I’ve been looking forward to this series for years and have really been enjoying it. If this was another book in the series, I’d say it was entertaining. As the final book in the series, though, I’m left frustrated, wanting answers to questions I now know I won’t be getting.

I don’t know if there were plans for more books that didn’t eventuate or if the author always planned on leaving the ending open. Regardless, I’m left feeling like I do when one of my favourite TV shows gets cancelled and I’m left in limbo for the rest of my life.

The entire series has been leading up to events that were going to take place in spring but I ran out of pages on 15 February. It sounded like spring was going to be awesome, too. From the third book:

“For centuries, the humans have trampled us! Squashed us! Swatted us! Poisoned us!” Howard said. “But this spring, with Master’s help, you will have your revenge!”

Please don’t hype me up with that many exclamation marks and then not give me spring!

We don’t get to explore the “giant labyrinth of cobwebbed corridors, twisting stairs, and mysterious passages” of Tillinghast Mansion for the first time. I was hoping we’d spend most of the book there, especially after Robert and Glenn went through a gate pretty much straight away. I still don’t understand why that gate didn’t lead where gates usually take them.

Mr Loomis, my favourite teacher, and Ms Lavinia, my favourite librarian, didn’t make an appearance. While I know where Ms Lavinia would have been, I was sure we’d see her before the end of the book. Also, Glenn got hardly any page time.

Some of my unanswered questions relate directly to this book. Others I’ve wondered about in previous books and assumed (wrongly) that I’d know the answers by now.

How does Robert understand Pip and Squeak? What’s their backstory? Why are they so smart?

Why didn’t any of the teachers ever figure out that Karina isn’t like other students?

Why does Karina need to sleep?

How was it possible for the beings from the alternaverse to morph into their true form and then back to human form without destroying their flesh suits?

Are the spirits trapped in urns for all eternity now because the big showdown never happened?

What happens when the kids go back to school tomorrow?

Why didn’t I get to see spring?

It’s not all doom and gloom. Eugene Smith’s illustrations are still a highlight. We do get invited to a slumber party and finally come face to face with Crawford Tillinghast.

We meet some cutie pie furballs and the storyline for one of our main characters has a happy ending decades in the making.

Make sure you bring a torch and some warm clothes.

Once Upon a Blurb

It’s Valentine’s Day and a monstrous blizzard has descended upon Lovecraft Middle School, trapping twelve-year-old Robert Arthur inside the building! He and his companions have no choice but to spend the night — while snacking on cafeteria food, sleeping on the gymnasium floor, facing off against a sinister substitute teacher, and thwarting an army of abominable beasts.

This fourth novel in the Lovecraft Middle School series begins right where Teacher’s Pest ended — with more action, more adventure, and more outrageous monsters!

Illustrations – Eugene Smith

If creepy crawlies aren’t your thing, this is not the book for you. With a cast of over a hundred thousand, they’re absolutely everywhere.

There’s stinging. There’s buzzing. There’s itching. You’re probably going to be compelled to check your hair for lice, just in case.

Best friends Robert, Glenn and Karina are used to going up against the shenanigans of their school’s growing army of baddies by now, but they’re gonna need a bigger can of bug spray for this one.

“This is the most disgusting thing that’s ever happened to us.”

Speaking of bug spray, if there are men in hazmat suits at your school, you probably don’t want to be there that day. Even if the pesticide smells like pancakes.

Howard, who we met in the second book, has a larger role in this one. That’s him on the front cover. Yes, this former model student has developed some diabolical tendencies recently.

We spend some more time in Tillinghast Mansion, which apparently is a Tardis, and we finally get to see Glenn’s home. I learned I’d get along well with Robert’s hometown teacher, Miss Lynch, who enjoys fun facts as much as I do.

Fun fact: “Flies taste with their feet.”

Eugene Smith’s illustrations are still bringing the humans and not so humans to life.

A lot still needs to be resolved with only one book left in the series. By this time tomorrow I hope to have all of my questions answered.

Until then, remember to keep your mouth closed and always carry some emergency chocolate.

“It’s been a really weird week.”

Once Upon a Blurb

Don’t be fooled by his friendly smile, his perfect manners, or his shiny red apple. Student council president Howard Mergler is actually a sinister bug-monster in disguise — and he’s summoning swarms of roaches, wasps, fleas, and head lice into the corridors of Lovecraft Middle School!  Twelve-year-old Robert Arthur is the only student who can stop him — but he’ll need help from his best friends: the school bully, the school ghost, and an extremely courageous two-headed rat.

This third novel in the Lovecraft Middle School series begins right where Professor Gargoyle and The Slither Sisters ended — with more action, more adventure and more outrageous monsters!

Illustrations – Eugene Smith

Things are getting stranger at Lovecraft Middle School. Sarah and Sylvia, the twins who mysteriously disappeared in the first book, are back but there’s something not quite right about them. Not that that’s going to stop me from casting my vote for Sarah for student council president. Cupcake Friday will always have my vote.

Robert has gone from having no friends to three, four if you count Pip and Squeak as two. He might still need help opening jars of spaghetti but that’s not stopping him from taking on a threat I’m sure he can’t even fully comprehend yet.

In between the campaigning and figuring out who they can trust, the kids have a Halloween dance to get ready for. The boys aren’t sure what they’re going to wear but Karina can always dress as herself. Sort of.

I was a bit puzzled that Robert’s mother, a nurse, wasn’t comfortable discussing puberty with him. She really disappointed me, especially when she came up with this clanger.

“I just wish you had a father to answer your personal questions”

Come on, Mrs Arthur! You can do better than that!

I also wasn’t a fan of Howard’s disability making up almost the entirety of his character for much of the book.

I wonder if the fact that this book was published in 2013 can account for both of these. Maybe if this was written now, the disability representation would be significantly different and Mrs Arthur wouldn’t be shying away from talking to her son about puberty.

When Robert and Glenn were debating whether to look inside Tillinghast Mansion for another gate, I wondered why they didn’t just ask Karina where one was.

“I know my way around.”

Maybe it’s not so bad at Lovecraft Middle School, though. You know what day of the week it is by checking the colour of Mr Loomis’ sweater vest and the librarian makes house calls.

I’m beginning to really look forward to Eugene Smith’s illustrations as I’m reading. The creatures in particular are a lot of fun to see.

I’m pretty sure I’d brave Tillinghast Mansion just so I could see the tapestries. You may want to bring some lemonade with you into this read.

“Just remember, its beak is worse than its bite.”

This book contains huge spoilers for the first one so if you’re planning to attend Lovecraft Middle School, be sure to enrol on the first day.

Once Upon a Blurb

This second novel in the Tales from Lovecraft Middle School series begins right where Professor Gargoyle ended.  Seventh-grader Robert Arthur has discovered that two of his classmates are actually sinister snake-women in disguise. Even worse, his new middle school is full of “gates” to a terrifying alternate dimension – a haunted mansion full of strange spirits and monstrous beasts.  For Robert to protect his teachers and classmates, he’ll need to return to this haunted dimension with his best friends Glenn and Karina. Can they uncover the secrets of Lovecraft Middle School before it’s too late?

The Slither Sisters features more bizarre beasts, more strange mysteries, and more adventure.  It’s perfect for readers ages 10 and up. Best of all, the cover features a state-of-the-art “morphing” photo portrait – so you can personally witness the sisters transforming into their slithering alter egos.  You won’t believe your eyes!

Illustrations – Eugene Smith

“If you’re looking for normal,” a voice said, “you’ve come to the wrong place.”

Robert is starting seventh grade at the newly opened Lovecraft Middle School, complete with swimming pool! The only person he recognises in a sea of unfamiliar faces is Glenn, his elementary school bully. It figures.

For a brand new building, there sure seem to be a lot of rats in the lockers and it’s odd that the school library attic smells like mothballs, but never mind that. There’s nothing to see here…

And now that I think about it, there’s something not quite right about Professor Goyle, Robert’s science teacher. Hold on. Is he about to eat — ew!!

It’s a good thing Robert has a new friend, Karina. I’m not sure why she’s not in any of his classes, though.

Robert is a relatable main character. He’s a bookworm waiting for his supernatural powers to kick in. He has a really intelligent pet rat. Rat? Rats? I’ll leave it up to you to decide.

I was hoping to find out arachnophobe Karina’s backstory from the moment I met her. It didn’t disappoint. I’m keen to learn more about Glenn because there’s more to him than gummy worms. I really hope Mr Loomis, the English teacher, is a goodie.

Four years passed between me deciding I needed to read this series and starting to read this series. That’s kinda depressing. On the upside, a bunch of my Kindle books have had their hope renewed today.

Kid me would have devoured this book once they stopped being mesmerised by the morphing photo portrait on the cover. Adult me read the Kindle version and now needs to see the book cover so the mesmerising can commence.

I really enjoyed Eugene Smith’s illustrations. They really brought out the creepy and the kooky. I loved the one that showed Professor Goyle having a snack in his classroom.

“This is just getting stranger and stranger.”

The end of this book hints at the direction the next book is going to take and I’m keen to see the fun play out.

So, why is this book called Professor Gargoyle when the Professor’s name is Goyle? His first name is Garfield so Gar Goyle. Although I think I prefer my version. I imagine his students seeing him in the hallway and warning their friends he’s there, ‘Gah! Goyle!’

Book in a book that I need to read: The Adventures of Fangs Dungaree, Teenage Vampire Cowboy Detective #1: The Case of the Flaming Horseshoe.

Be careful which door you open…

Once Upon a Blurb

Strange things are happening at Lovecraft Middle School. Rats are leaping from lockers. Students are disappearing. The school library is a labyrinth of secret corridors. And the science teacher is acting very peculiar – in fact, he just might be a monster-in-disguise.  Twelve-year-old Robert Arthur knew that seventh grade was going to be weird, but this is ridiculous!

With the help of some unlikely new friends, Robert discovers there’s more to Lovecraft Middle School than meets the eye. Can he uncover the secrets of the school before it’s too late?