Author: Schizanthus Nerd

Borderlands Volume One: The Anthology of Weird Fiction – Thomas F. Monteleone

DNF @ 24%

I had never heard of ‘weird fiction’ prior to reading this book’s blurb and was immediately intrigued. I usually enjoy stories that have unexpected twists and turns or cover terrain I haven’t encountered before. I love weird stuff!

So it both surprised and disappointed me that this book wasn’t for me. I did enjoy the first story, The Calling by David B. Silva. It reminded me of Roald Dahl’s Tales of the Unexpected with its macabre ending, so I had hope for the rest of the stories.

I found the second story so disjointed and jarring that I kept putting off finishing it. I finally decided I had to finish it to get to another story I’d connect with more so I pushed through to the end and then slogged through another three stories. I didn’t like a single one.

Perhaps if I’d read these stories when this anthology was first published in 1994 I would have found them shocking but most of what I read felt either clichéd or bad weird. I acknowledge that I may be missing out on some gems by throwing in the towel at this point (there are some really positive reviews for this book) but I think I can live with that, especially when I read some reviews commenting on the amount of stories featuring women being abused by men.

Whenever I rarely DNF a book I usually feel guilty about it and plan to give the book another shot in the future because I don’t want to miss out on any magic that I didn’t find for whatever reason during my first attempt. I don’t think I’ll be doing that with this book and I’m probably more sad than anything because I was really looking forward to discovering this amazing new (to me) world called ‘weird fiction’.

Thank you to NetGalley and Riverdale Avenue Books for the opportunity to read this book. I really wish I had loved it.

Once Upon a Blurb

It’s hard to believe, but this anthology first appeared 28 years ago. In re-reading the stories in this gathering of the weirdest tales, I am also reminded of how strikingly fresh and original the material remains. 

As its title implies, Borderlands contains fiction that resides out there on the edge, on the perimeter of what’s being done in the field of horror, dark fantasy, and suspense literature. When I solicited material for what I hope will be the first of many volumes, I made it clear I didn’t want stories that employed any of the traditional symbols and images of the genre. I wanted writers to expand the envelope, to look beyond the usual metaphors, and bring me something new. 

Some fresh meat, so to speak. 

So, dig in! 

by Categories: ReviewTags: , , ,

I Had Such Friends – Meg Gatland-Veness

Charlie Parker, who was loved by everyone (including his teachers), has died. The entire school has been deeply affected by his death at the beginning of Year 12. Well, everyone except Hamish and his only friend Martin. Hamish hasn’t been the same since a tragedy in his own family years ago and he thinks he knows what Annie, Charlie’s girlfriend and the prettiest girl in school, is going through.

Back then, I thought I was invincible. Back then, I didn’t realise children could die.

It’s a hard book to review for a couple of reasons. Most of the time I didn’t even like the main character, particularly when he kept ditching his only friend because someone more popular was suddenly paying attention to him. I also spent most of the book wondering why a specific character suddenly wanted to spend time with Hamish when they were polar opposites in most respects. This is explained towards the end but, although I liked the other character, I didn’t really take to their unusual friendship. I had guessed a big reveal early on so I didn’t feel the impact of that when it happened.

Some conversations work better in dark rooms where faces are hidden by the quiet.

At times it felt like I was playing YA Social Issue Bingo while reading this book (look at length of my content warnings list if you don’t believe me) but at the same time it was realistic because many high school kids really do have to deal with all of these issues and more.

I appreciated that this book highlights the fact that you really don’t know what is going on in other peoples’ lives. Behind the smile of the prettiest girl in school there could be a world of pain. Beneath the bravado of the star football player there may be secret shame. I wish that these kids had been given help for their problems or at least been able to tell a trusted adult instead of another kid who didn’t know what to do to help.

I loved that not only does the author live in the same county as me but we even live in the same state. For those of you living in America you will probably never understand how wonderful it feels to actually find your local area represented in a book when it happens so infrequently. Whenever I find a book by a local author I always relish all of the minor details.

In this book the distance between places was measured in kilometres and the temperature was in celsius so I didn’t have to convert any numbers in my head as I was reading. A character ate Vegemite on toast for breakfast. I love Vegemite! The beat up car one of the characters drives? I drive one of those! The tar melting on the road and sticking to the bottom of your shoes? Welcome to summer in Australia!

Once Upon a Nitpick: In chapter 15, Hamish and another character go to the beach. It’s specifically noted that the other character leaves his football in the car and Hamish has a little internal monologue about why this is the case, but on the next page Hamish takes a photo of the other person with the football on the beach. However they never go back to the car to retrieve it.

The sentences that addressed the reader only served to pull me out of the story and the repeated use of “As you know” irritated me. For example,

I guess I don’t need to tell you that Martin hated the beach. As you know, he couldn’t really swim, and he didn’t look too great with his shirt off.

Thank you so much to NetGalley and Pantera Press for the opportunity to read this book. I’m interested in reading this author’s next book.

Rating: 3.5 out of 5.

Once Upon a Blurb

When Charlie Parker dies, it affects everyone who knew him. Everyone, that is, except for seventeen-year-old Hamish Day, the boy who lives on a cabbage farm and only has one friend. But Hamish soon finds himself pulled into the complicated lives of the people left behind. Among them is Annie Bower, the prettiest girl in school. As he uncovers startling truths about his peers, his perspectives on friendship, love, grief and the tragic power of silence are forever altered.

Meg’s own teaching experience has enabled her to delve deeper into the true nature of a universal high school experience. I Had Such Friends will speak to high school students/teenagers on a personal level, and foster important conversations among Australian youth, school and family culture on issues including abuse, failure and neglect.

With hard-hitting themes including unrequited love, abuse, neglect, sexuality, bullying, prejudice, death and suicide, I Had Such Friends is a poignant journey of self-discovery, grief and the tragic power of silence. A gripping look at adolescent pain with a narrative maturity that accurately reflects its YA milieu, I Had Such Friends resonates with young adult audiences and pushes them to reflect on their own ‘sliding doors’ moment.

by Categories: ReviewTags: , , ,

Whiteout – Gabriel Dylan

It begins with 30 students, 3 teachers, some ski instructors, and a variety of townsfolk. It ends with … less. A lot less.

Charlie is one of the sixth-form students on a ski trip in Austria. As an outcast, the jocks, geeks and princesses all ignore him, but Charlie doesn’t care. In fact, Charlie doesn’t really care about anything these days.

It was one of the girls that found the blood.

When a snowstorm severs all contact with anyone outside the village the students discover they’re not alone on the mountain, and that’s when the fun really begins in this adrenaline packed massacre. The pages of this book are drenched in blood and I couldn’t wait to see if my favourites would survive, or be recognisable through the blood spatter, at the end.

I loved Charlie and Hanna, both damaged by life, and would have happily used Tara as a human shield. Tara was one of those characters that I love to hate and I kept hoping she’d meet a gruesome end. A fair amount of the characters in this book were clichés but I don’t mind that in a horror book, just as I don’t need to have an emotional connection with a bunch of people that are likely to be slaughtered any minute anyway.

After everything it took to get there (including my favourite description, “entrails dangling like spaghetti”) I would have liked the final action sequence to have lasted a bit longer. It felt too quick and easy, given the horrors the survivors have experienced up to that point.

I love Stripes’ Red Eye series and am at the point where I know I want to read a Red Eye book before I even read the blurb. I wish they’d been available when I was a teenager. I really enjoyed this debut and am interested in reading whatever this author comes up with next.

Thank you so much to NetGalley and Stripes Publishing for the opportunity to read this book.

Rating: 4 out of 5.

Once Upon a Blurb

‘She sat us all down and told us a story. About things that lived in the woods. Things that only came out at night.’

For Charlie, a school ski trip is the perfect escape from his unhappy home life. Until a storm blows in and the resort town is cut off from the rest of the world. Trapped on the mountain, the students wait for the blizzards to pass, along with mysterious ski guide Hanna. 

But as night falls and the town’s long buried secrets begin to surface, the storm is the least of their problems …

by Categories: ReviewTags: , , ,

The Haunting of Henderson Close – Catherine Cavendish

There’s always been sporadic supernatural activity during the tours of Henderson Close. Occasionally visitors have experienced cold spots or seen shadowy figures, but when Hannah begins her new job as a tour guide the mysterious phenomena escalates. Hannah and her fellow tour guides, Mairead and George, are soon caught up in a series of events that they can’t explain. If anyone ever needed help from the Ghostbusters it’s this trio.

Oftentimes I’ll pick up a book that promises spectral encounters and I’ll eagerly anticipate the promised ghost, only to be disappointed that they show up right at the end. This book does not have that problem. Ghosts really did show up again and again. While I wasn’t scared I did look forward to each time something ‘spooky’ happened, including time slips and a little girl who would probably be really cute, if only she had a face.

I loved the way that historical Edinburgh came alive for me. As scenes in the 19th century were explained I could see them unfold around me, right down to the stench of the Old Town streets. I wanted to solve the mystery of who murdered Miss Carmichael and learn more about the girl with no face.

While I enjoyed finding out about the lives of the people who once lived in Henderson Close and its surrounds, I didn’t become emotionally attached to any of the characters, past or present. No matter what happened to the characters I felt like I was a passive observer, which appeared to diminish the impact of the horror they were experiencing. I appreciated the onslaught on supernatural activity but wonder if I would have cared more about what happened to our trio if more time was spent fleshing out their personalities.

I’m still not entirely clear about the sequence of events surrounding Mairead’s life and felt that the connections the characters had to Henderson Close were a bit flimsy overall. The ending seemed rushed and I’m left with unanswered questions. I would have preferred for a couple of Hannah’s family background scenes to have been deleted, especially the letter Hannah received from her ex (which I didn’t think added anything to the story). Instead I wish there’d been additional explanations as to why the story ended the way it did.

Thank you to NetGalley and Flame Tree Press for the opportunity to read this book. I’d be interested in reading more books by this author.

Rating: 3.5 out of 5.

Once Upon a Blurb

Ghosts have always walked there. Now they’re not alone …

In the depths of Edinburgh, an evil presence is released.

Hannah and her colleagues are tour guides who lead their visitors along the spooky, derelict Henderson Close, thrilling them with tales of spectres and murder. For Hannah it is her dream job, but not for long. Who is the mysterious figure that disappears around a corner? What is happening in the old print shop? And who is the little girl with no face?

The legends of Henderson Close are becoming all too real. The Auld De’il is out – and even the spirits are afraid.

by Categories: ReviewTags: , ,

Dork Diaries #13: Tales from a Not-So-Happy Birthday – Rachel Renée Russell

For once, my life will be DRAMA FREE!! WOO-HOO 😃!

Not likely! This is Nikki we’re talking about. She still hasn’t decided if she will be spending two weeks in Paris (all expenses paid) or going on tour with her band (you know, totally normal people problems), she’s annoyed by her sister’s culinary mash ups and freaking out about whatever potential disaster may unfold during the birthday party her two best friends are planning for her.

The party’s on. Then it’s cancelled. Then it’s on again. Then it’s cancelled. Again. Then it’s back on. Oh, and it’s going to be the worst party ever and/or epic.

If Nikki and her friends made it through a book without miscommunication causing all sorts of problems I’d be shocked. Chloe, Zoey and Brandon have proven their loyalty time and time again, yet Nikki still questions their friendship and deliberately keeps things from them.

There’s no character development and “SQUEEE 😃!!”, which was kinda cute for the first few books, is really annoying me now. I understand that catchphrases can be important in the continuity of a series but I would have liked to have seen some new ones added to the ones that have been used for 13 books now. I’m also over Nikki throwing up in her mouth a little; she did it four times in this book alone.

When I started this series I found Nikki to be relatable, if kinda melodramatic, and sweet. She’s got a loving family and friends and used to have cute little dramas at school that pretty much anyone could relate to. These days her problems are essentially most peoples’ dreams come true. I wonder how she’d cope if she had to face a real problem. I used to love this series but at this point I think I’m done. 🙁

Rating: 2.5 out of 5.

Once Upon a Blurb

It’s Nikki Maxwell’s birthday!! Will it be a blast or a bust? Find out in Nikki’s newest diary, the thirteenth installment in the #1 New York Times blockbuster bestselling Dork Diaries series!

Nikki and her BFF’s Chloe and Zoey have been planning a birthday party of epic proportions! There’s just one problem – Nikki’s mum says no way to the budget they need to make it happen. Nikki’s ready to call the whole thing off, but some surprising twists might take that decision out of her hands, and help comes from the person Nikki would least expect. One way or another, this will be a birthday that Nikki will never forget!

by Categories: ReviewTags: , ,

Outside – Sarah Ann Juckes

This is a story where the less you know before you read it the better so while I’d usually provide content warnings before my review they’ll be at the end of this one, so it’s up to you if you want to read them or not.

Ele lives Inside a Tower with the Others and collects Proofs of the Outside. She dreams of being an Outside Person instead of an Other but knows there are Dragons, Giants and Ogres Outside. Inside is anything but a fairytale because of Him but Inside is all she knows.

Ele is one of those girls whose story and spirit will super glue themselves inside your mind. Her resilience and spunk under unimaginable circumstances inspire me to want to be as brave and capable of facing my fears as she did hers. Her love of reading endeared her to me and, like [book: Matilda|39988] before her, she reinforced my belief that with books and your imagination you can endure and ultimately overcome any adversity.

Her voice, which I originally found disconcerting and disorienting, became easier to read the more I got to know her. Having only known Inside she doesn’t speak like any other character I’ve read. I loved her descriptions of objects that you and I take for granted and sometimes it took me a while to figure out what it was that she was experiencing.

Maybe it’s because I’ve read so much fiction and nonfiction with similar themes or because I try to focus on all of the details in books I plan on reviewing but I picked up on clues of some potential surprises early on. I was disappointed that there were no big revelations for me but from what I can tell based on early reviews I’m an anomaly. I did keep waiting for the police (or anyone in authority, really) to show up and I found it somewhat suspicious that it took so long but also acknowledge that for the story to unfold the way it did they couldn’t get involved too early.

Free Bonus Short Story! If you sign up to join Sarah’s Reader’s Club at her website you’ll be emailed Inside. It’s available in MOBI, ePub and PDF formats. It accompanies Outside and is really, really good, but I cannot stress this enough – please read Outside first or you’ll be in Spoiler World before you know it. I’m not sure if there’s an expiry date on this offer but the link worked at the time I posted this review.

THUMP-THUMP-KNOCK
KNOCK-THUMP-KNOCK
KNOCK
KNOCK-THUMP
THUMP
THUMP-knock-knock
KNOCK
THUMP-scrap
knock-knock-THUMP
THUMP
scrap
KNOCK-THUMP
KNOCK-THUMP-KNOCK
KNOCK-THUMP
KNOCK-scrap

Thank you so much to NetGalley and Penguin Random House Children’s UK for the opportunity to read this book.

Rating: 4 out of 5.

Once Upon a Blurb

The Proof of the Outside follows the story of Ele, who is held captive in a small room by a man known as ‘Him’. Ele is determined to prove there is a world Outside. And when she finds a hole in the wall, the proof starts leaking in. In this dark and compelling debut novel, Ele’s strong and heartbreakingly optimistic voice shines through, revealing an important lesson about the power of stories to save lives.

by Categories: ReviewTags: , , , ,

Sir Simon: Super Scarer – Cale Atkinson

So many pop culture references! I love this book!

I’ve read it twice so far and I picked up so much more the second time around. I began to suspect something was up when I began to find random Stephen King references in the illustrations early on during my first read. I started specifically looking for them and found more of those and plenty of other beauties. I won’t tell you all of the references I found because that would take all the fun out of finding them yourself but some of the standouts for me were:

  • Pennywise
  • 237
  • Slimer
  • Stay Puft Marshmallow Man
  • Jason’s mask
  • Freddy Krueger’s shirt
  • Audrey II
  • A cat clock that looked suspiciously like it was borrowed from Doc Brown.

And my absolute favourite? The Proton Vac!

That’s nowhere near all of the ones I’ve found and I’m under no illusion that I’ve found them all – yet!

Oh, and the story’s a lot of fun as well. Sir Simon Spookington has haunted a lot of things in his career but this is his first time haunting a house. He’s excited to be haunting grandparents as old people are on top of The Pyramid of Haunting. With his free time (because, as we all know, old people sleep all the time! 😜) Sir Simon is looking forward to working on his novel, but things don’t exactly go to plan.

SO. MUCH. FUN. 👻

Rating: 5 out of 5.

Once Upon a Blurb

A delightful, funny story of friendship, ghost chores, a spooky house and a professional haunter.

Meet Sir Simon, Super Scarer. He’s a professional ghost who has been transferred to his first house. And just in time! He was getting tired of haunting bus stops and forests and potatoes. And to top it off, this house is occupied by an old lady – they’re the easiest to haunt!

But things don’t go as planned when it turns out a KID comes with this old lady. Chester spots Simon immediately and peppers him with questions. Simon is exasperated … until he realises he can trick Chester into doing his ghost chores. Spooky sounds, footsteps in the attic, creaks on the stairs – these things don’t happen on their own, you know!

After a long night of haunting, it seems that maybe Chester isn’t cut out to be a ghost, so Simon decides to help with Chester’s human chores. Turns out Simon isn’t cut out for human chores either.

But maybe they’re both cut out to be friends …

by Categories: ReviewTags: , , ,

Hot Dog! #5: Camping Time! – Anh Do

Illustrations – Dan McGuinness

Five books in and I still love this series! Hotdog and his friends Kev the cat and Lizzie the lizard are on holiday at Rainbow Island, where Kev’s mother works as a doctor. Kev’s been helping his Mum look after sick animals, including a leopard with reverse-measles (his spots have fallen onto the floor 🤪).

The three friends join lots of other animals on the island for the annual Rainbow Island camping trip where they learn lots of useful skills and have fun. There’s even a biscuit eating competition featuring chocolate fudge biscuits. Yum! 😋

Of course there has to be an adventure and Hotdog and his friends use the skills they have learned to help them when things go wrong. The focus on teamwork in these books is always a winner for me. Whatever trouble our friends get into you know they’ll be okay as long as they work together.

I’ve yet to meet an Anh story I haven’t loved. I didn’t find this book quite as funny as previous stories but it was still a lot of fun. I loved the new characters introduced in this story, especially the teachers at camp. Then there was Kelly the kookaburra, who was always going to be one of my favourites as she reminded me of the kookaburras I feed each day, each with its own adorable personality.

The illustrations (greyscale and blue this time) are as wonderfully smile-worthy as ever. My favourite was a crab bringing home dinner – takeaway pizza! However I was also fairly amused seeing a fish jumping out of the water to high five one of the main characters.

Bring on the sixth book! 😊

Rating: 4 out of 5.

Once Upon a Blurb

Hotdog, Lizzie and Kev are going CAMPING! 

There will be wood-chopping, campfire singalongs and an EPIC biscuit-eating competition. It’s going to be awesome! 

Can Hotdog, Lizzie and Kev learn the skills they need to survive in the bush?

by Categories: ReviewTags: , ,

Pearl #2: Pearl the Flying Unicorn – Sally Odgers

Illustrations – Adele K. Thomas

I couldn’t help myself! After finding out that Pearl’s sequel involved her flying I had to read it. Pearl the magical unicorn (is there any other kind?) and her friends Olive the ogre and Tweet the firebird are on another adventure. This time they’re on the trail of some pink glitter feathers that blew away in a gust of wind when Pearl was trying on Olive’s new hat. Along the way they encounter some gobble-uns, the baddies from the first book.

I enjoyed this book more than the first in the series. I was a bit overwhelmed by the sweetness of the first book and found Pearl’s random outbursts annoying. This time around I was expecting the sweet story and Pearl’s “Bolting buckets!”, “Blundering bats” and “Purple parsnips!” felt more like a quirk of her character to be expected, not irritated by. I expect kids who read this series will find Pearl’s exclamations funny and will enjoy Pearl, Olive and Tweet’s friendship. It was a tad convenient that Pearl’s magic only works properly when it absolutely has to but I doubt kids will care about that.

Handy hint: If you ever meet Pearl, the magic you need to know is “Flickety-prance-flick!” Get her to do this for you and a pink cupcake will fall from the sky and land on your head, intact and the right way up.

The main thing I remembered from my review of Pearl the Magical Unicorn was that it was PINK! Not to be outdone, the sequel is also PINK! Once again, Adele K. Thomas’ illustrations were adorable and the detailed expressions enhanced the characters’ personalities. I loved the background animals, particularly the frog, whale and stingrays, but my favourite had to be the bug shaking its fist at Pearl and her friends.

Yes, I do already have the third book in the series on order from the library so you’ll be hearing all about PINK! Pearl the Proper Unicorn around February 2019. In the meantime, if you’re in need of cupcakes just remember, “Flickety-prance-flick!”

Rating: 4 out of 5.

Once Upon a Blurb

Pearl, Olive and Tweet are on the hunt for glitter feathers! But they’ve blown all the way over to Gull Island. They use Olive’s ogre-boat to reach the island, but rowing quickly behind them are three mean and stinky pirate gobble-uns! 

Can Pearl use her magic to save her friends in time?

by Categories: ReviewTags: , , ,

A Unicorn Named Sparkle #3: A Unicorn Named Sparkle’s First Christmas – Amy Young

I adored A Unicorn Named Sparkle and A New Friend for Sparkle so despite my Bah Humbug tendencies I was excited to read about Sparkle’s first Christmas. I loved the illustrations and the shiny, glittery bits on the cover. I enjoyed seeing Sparkle lapping up his hot chocolate, playing with the birds and ice skating, and I grinned every time an illustration showed the heart shaped marking on his butt.

I was really disappointed by the story though. While I love giving and receiving presents, Lucy’s obsession with presents in this book

and her tantrum made me feel really sorry for poor Sparkle, who she makes cry a puddle of rainbow tears when she declares he’s ruined Christmas. I wish the story had a greater focus on their friendship and the joy they bring to one another rather than shining a spotlight on Lucy’s bad attitude. Yes, Lucy does turn it around in the end but it felt like it was too little, too late and it didn’t undo my desire to give Sparkle a huge hug and adopt him.

Rating: 3 out of 5.

Once Upon a Blurb

It’s Sparkle’s first Christmas and Lucy is showing him how to celebrate. Make a snowman. Check. Make a unicorn snowman. Check. Hang stockings, make cookies, and, of course – buy presents! (But don’t eat them.) Check. In pure Sparkle fashion, nothing goes as planned, but Lucy ends up learning that love – not presents – is what Christmas is all about.

by Categories: ReviewTags: , , , , ,