A Beginner’s Guide to Being Mental: An A to Z From Anxiety to Zero F**ks Given – Natasha Devon

I think it goes without saying that a book about mental health is going to wind up with one of my famous (or is that infamous!) trigger warnings but as someone whose brain can get fairly trigger happy I didn’t have any problems while reading this one myself. However, having said that, I’m not you so please be aware and keep yourself safe if you are triggered while reading.

This is one of the best books about mental health that I’ve read, and I’ve read plenty. What sets it apart is its author, Natasha Devon, who I’ll admit I’d never heard of prior to reading this book but now feels like someone I could be friends with. Natasha is upfront about her own experiences, writes in a down to earth conversational tone and is somehow able to simplify and explain difficult topics without dumbing them down. Natasha’s aim is to present “a comprehensive yet easy-to-understand overview” and she nails it!

While I’ve been there done that on the mental health merry-go-round personally and even picked up my own psychology degree from a Cornflakes box along the way I gained new insights, knowledge and understanding while reading this book. I often find books explaining mental health to be quite dry and one of my main whinges at university was the uncanny ability of some authors to transform fascinating topics into insomnia cures. I enjoyed reading this book so much though that I wanted to start reading it again as soon as I finished it, partly because I like ‘listening’ to Natasha talk about mental health and partly because I wanted to revisit all of my aha! moments.

I particularly admired Natasha’s ability to weave her own experiences and those of people she’s met along the way with facts (including references to make people like me happy) and insights gained through her work advocating for young people. It’s a balancing act that can result in some spectacular falls when authors incorporate their personal experiences in a book about mental health. Too often I’ve read books where it becomes either a dramatic sob story that takes your attention away from the helpful information that’s hidden somewhere amongst the tissues or a holier than thou ‘I have all the answers and although I’m better than you, I will impart some of my wisdom to you. Wow, don’t you resemble an ant as I look down my nose at you from the heights of my ivory tower’ attitude. Natasha did not fall off the tightrope once.

She was able to give enough information to let you know that she gets it, show empathy so you know that not only does she get it but she also gives a damn and does this amazing thing where she can talk to you about topics that are beyond difficult to live with but she leaves you with a feeling of hope. She speaks to, not at or down to, the reader and while she is direct and leaves no room for questions marks over her point of view (I intend those as compliments, not criticisms), she’s also sensitive, empathetic and funny. She comes across as someone that I would have been able to confide in as a young person and as an old(er) person I feel like she’s someone I’d want to chat with over a cuppa.

Oh, and before you get your politically correct knickers in a twist about the book’s title you should probably know that Natasha does explain the ‘mental’ thing but better than I could so here it is in her words …

“The most important thing to acknowledge before we begin is this: I am mental. I am mental according to the most common understanding of the term, in that I have a mental illness. I am also mental in the sense that I am an intellectual and emotional being, in possession of a brain. To have a mind is to be ‘mental’. And that, reader, means that you are mental, too.”

You should probably also know that the subjects aren’t always found under the letter of the alphabet that you’d expect. For example, self-harm lives in the J chapter, as in Just Attention Seeking, but trust me, your pitchforks are not required. This makes complete sense when you read the chapter. Take it from someone who has self-harmed; if pitchforks were required here I’d be handing them out personally but Natasha deals with this topic with the same amount of sensitivity, insight and wisdom as she does with the rest of the alphabet.

I want to ask where Natasha was when I was in high school, knowing I would have benefited greatly from anything she had to say but as I’m close to her in age and across the world that’s kind of a moot point. However I am greatly encouraged that there are Natashas in the world speaking to, and on behalf of, young people about mental health.

I do have a few comments about my personal experience in Australia versus what’s described in this book about the UK. I was gobsmacked that patients only get an average of 6 minutes for a GP appointment. It made me feel so lucky that my GP has 15 minute appointments as standard and 30 minute ones available if you have a list of a bazillion things to discuss or one tricky topic. I also feel even more appreciative that I have two of the most wonderful GP’s on the planet who understand mental health conditions and who consistently go way above and beyond when it comes to looking out for my best interests.

I was absolutely appalled to read about the usual waiting times for people in the UK to be able to access mental health services. Again, my appreciation level for my equally above and beyond awesome psychologist who I may sometimes refer to as Sunshine [insert their first name here] has skyrocketed, even though I didn’t think that was possible.

Okay, so maybe this isn’t as much a traditional book review as it is me telling you the feeling I get from the author but I wonder in this instance if that’s just as important. You can say all of the right things but no one is going to want to listen to you if you’re obnoxious or you have the facts right but can’t back it up with experience or at least some compassion.

What was refreshing in Natasha’s approach was her humour. I find, probably like most people, that a good dose of humour can make even the most difficult topics easier to deal with and this book was no exception. I particularly loved the cute little illustrations by Ruby Elliott that accompanied some of the chapters and only wish there were more of them.

I am struggling to tell you who I’d recommend this book for because ‘everyone’ seems like a cop out so I’ll just tell you some groups of people that came to mind as I was reading: young people, parents, teachers, anyone with a mental illness, anyone supporting anyone with a mental illness, anyone who works in a professional capacity with young people and/or those with mental illnesses, anyone who wants to be a better friend, government and/or political types who make decisions about how money for mental health is allocated, anyone who has influence in any form of media, and anyone who wants to be a better person in general. So, yeah, everyone!

While the chapters can be read in any order I’d highly recommend you read it straight through first. I highlighted so many passages but I am having trouble picking out a favourite because they’re all so damn good. Instead I’ll tell you my favourite word of the book: cheesed-off-ness. I came across it a week ago and it is still making me smile each time I think of it. I’m also quite partial to any book that includes any of the following: shysters, wodge, almighty s**t-show, f**kwittery, bogus, skew-whiff, raison d’être.

Thank you so much to NetGalley and Bluebird, an imprint of Pan Macmillan, for the opportunity to discover this awesomeness. Natasha is definitely one of the good boxes. I know I’m going to get more out of it when the inevitable reread happens. I’m going to be recommending this book to my doctors and psychologist, along with random people who cross my path. I leave this book (temporarily – I know I’ll be back soon!) wanting to be a better person, advocate, listener and support person, and feeling hopeful and inspired.

Rating: 5 out of 5.

Once Upon a Blurb

‘Am I normal?’

‘What’s an anxiety disorder?’

‘Does therapy work?’

These are just a few of the questions Natasha Devon is asked as she travels the UK campaigning for better mental health awareness and provision. Here, Natasha calls upon experts in the fields of psychology, neuroscience and anthropology to debunk and demystify the full spectrum of mental health. From A (Anxiety) to Z (Zero F**ks Given – or the art of having high self-esteem) via everything from body image and gender to differentiating ‘sadness’ from ‘depression’.

Statistically, one in three of us will experience symptoms of a mental illness during our lifetimes. Yet all of us have a brain, and so we ALL have mental health – regardless of age, sexuality, race or background. The past few years have seen an explosion in awareness, yet it seems there is still widespread confusion. A Beginner’s Guide to Being Mental is for anyone who wants to have this essential conversation, written as only Natasha – with her combination of expertise, personal experience and humour – knows how.

Valensteins – Ethan Long

So, I decided to read a love story to coincide with the royal wedding and naturally chose a picture book. The Fright Club members are all practising their scares, from the ghost’s Boo! to the butterfly’s Blah!, but Fran K. Stein is doing something weird with pink paper, scissors and glue.

Several of the Club members try to guess what Fran is making (the ghost’s paper butt guess is the best one) before Bunny explains what Fran is really up to. It turns out that it’s Valentine’s Day and Fran has made a pink paper heart, which leads Sandy the witch to wonder the scariest thing of all…

“Do you think Fran … gulp … is in LOVE?”

Bunny then tells the bewildered Fright Club members what love is, terrifying them more and more with each new piece of information. Fran is reminded what love really is when his Valentine appears. Aww! 💕

The illustrations in this book are adorable! With muted colours and expressive characters I loved every picture. My favourites are those that show the horror of the Fright Club members when Bunny is explaining what love is.

This culminates in a two page illustration with the characters’ “EEEEWWW!” expressions. Sandy the witch looks decidedly nauseous and may vomit at any moment. The ghost has its eyes screwed up tightly and its tongue has escaped its mouth, looking to be mid “Blech!” The spider’s eyes are goggled. Vladimir, the werewolf, mummy and butterfly also have priceless expressions.

I’ve read this book three times over the last couple of weeks and I love it each time. In fact, if any of you are desperately searching for a Valentine’s Day present for me 😜 I’d love my own copy of this book. I definitely have to read Ethan Long’s other books, especially this book’s companion, Fright Club.

Rating: 5 out of 5.

Once Upon a Blurb

Something strange is in the air on this dark, cold night.

The members of Fright Club are always ready to scare, but tonight Fran K. Stein has something else on his mind. He’s busy making something, and the other monsters want to know what it is.

Could it be a mask with fangs? A big pink nose? Or maybe a paper butt? No … it’s a Valentine!

That means one thing … EEEEK!! Is Fran in love? What could be scarier than falling in love?!?

Zita the Spacegirl #2: Legends of Zita the Spacegirl – Ben Hatke

After the events in Zita the Spacegirl Zita has gone from Girl Who Pressed the Red Button to Famous Girl Who Pressed the Red Button. Oh, and she did have a part to play in the whole saving Scriptorius from the apocalyptic asteroid thing.

When an Imprint-o-Tron robot imprints on a poster of Zita, it begins its transformation into Zita Imposter Extraordinaire. Eager for some respite from the adoration of the masses, Zita is only too happy to allow robot Zita to take the glory. While robot Zita soaks up the attention, human Zita and Mouse sneak off to enjoy Lady Madrigal’s circus.

Meanwhile, ambassadors from New Lumponia plead their case for (robot) Zita to save their planet from a swarm of star hearts, which are deadlier, less cutesy and with nastier looking teeth than they sound. Before she knows it real Zita finds herself left behind, branded a criminal and unsure who she can trust.

Along the way she meets plenty of new characters including Madrigal, a gigantic cat with glowing eyes called Glissando and my personal favourite, Shippy. We learn some unexpected backstories for Piper (just don’t call him Whistle Man) and Mouse. Piper also reveals a hidden talent along the way which comes in quite handy.

The illustrations are just as good as the first story and even feature a cameo of my mate Jerry from Zita the Spacegirl. I love the aerial units, the spider and the adorable multiplying Doppelganger. There’s one panel that certainly gives new meaning to heart attack as well.

The best thing about robot Zita is that she can read 147 books straight without needing to stop to eat and she has an eidetic memory. I wish!!

The worst thing about this book? There’s a cliffhanger and I don’t have The Return of Zita the Spacegirl on hand. How am I supposed to move on with my life before I find out if Mouse is okay, if Zita ever returns home and if she does, how she can ever say goodbye to all of her new friends across the galaxy?!

I will not sneak a peek at reviews of the next one to find answers.

I will not sneak a peek at reviews of the next one to find answers …

Rating: 5 out of 5.

Once Upon a Blurb

Fame comes at a price

Zita must find her way back to earth … but her space adventures have made her a galactic megastar! Who can you trust when your true self is overshadowed by your public image? And to make things worse … Zita’s got a robot double making trouble – while wearing her face!

Book – David Miles

Illustrations – Natalie Hoopes

… and you’re suddenly in a place that only you can imagine.

A book called Book about books! Of course I was going to love this one! Whether you’re introducing a child to the magical portal books open to anywhere you can imagine, you’re suffering from a case of the dreaded reading slump or you just want to feel the spark that ignites when kindred spirits find one another, Book is the book for you.

Book brings to mind the marvellous adventures you’ve taken between pages, the places you’ve travelled in your imagination and the lifelong friends you’ve met there. Focusing on beautiful books that you can hold in your hand, you’re taken on a journey …

Where imagination scrapes the skies of opportunity, the forests of what-could-be stretch beyond the horizon

It felt like I was in an enchanted land while reading this book, mesmerised by the awesomeness that is the written word swirling around in my imagination. Natalie Hoopes’ illustrations were the perfect accompaniment to David Miles’ celebration of books.

The cranky little critters with the sharp fangs that represented the viruses books are immune to, the shelter made of books under which the boy (our protagonist) is reading and the lightbulbs with wings were some of my favourite elements. My absolute favourite illustration shows some of the adventures that await you when you look closer at a book. Showing different scenes unfolding within zoomed in letters was such a gorgeous way of getting the point across.

I want my own copy of this book so I can revisit it whenever I want to be reminded of why I’m so passionate about books. I’m so glad I accidentally found this alleged children’s book. While I’m sure kids will enjoy it I think it’s adults who will truly appreciate it.

You can say goodbye without feeling sad, because you know you can come back as often as you wish.

Rating: 5 out of 5.

Once Upon a Blurb

In a world dazzled by the latest gadgets and mesmerised by Internet videos, the humble book seems like the most ordinary thing that could be. And perhaps it is until you learn to look closer … and closer … and closer … and you’re suddenly in a world that only you can imagine.

With soft, warm storytelling and stunning, whimsical illustrations, Book embarks the reader on an imaginative journey through the literary lands of fact and fiction, a world where passwords, viruses, and broken screens can’t stop a young boy’s earnest quest for truth. Join in this celebration of literature, scrape the skies of opportunity, traverse the forests of what-could-be, free the powers of knowledge, and discover once again why the humble book is anything but ordinary.

Far Out Fairy Tales: Ninja-Rella – Joey Comeau

Illustrations – Omar Lozano

Okay, Ninja-rella is really fun! As one of the Far Out Fairy Tales graphic novels, the original gets twisted in some imaginative ways. I love that Ninja-rella isn’t hoping to go to the Prince’s ball because she wants her happily ever after, being saved from her circumstances by the Prince and then marrying him. No, this version of Cinderella wants to save herself and the Prince by becoming his “extremely awesome royal ninja bodyguard”.

Having learned to be smart from her mother and strong from her father, Cinderella transforms herself into a kick-ass ninja, now known as Ninja-rella, after her mother’s death. Of course, her father remarries a woman with two daughters and after he too dies, Ninja-rella is relegated to servant by her cliché evil stepmother.

On the evening of the ball the most adorable little fairy godninja rocks up to outfit Ninja-rella in appropriate ninja attire and provides her with her glass katana sword!

There’s no pumpkin or talking animals in this version so Ninja-rella makes her own way to the ball.

Ninja-rella has some brilliant moves and her expressions are priceless. I appreciated that it’s her strength and skills that shine in this story instead of her beauty. I really connected to her and loved her determination and attitude.

The illustrations were fantastic, capturing Ninja-rella’s emotions and moves well. I always enjoy the bonus material at the end of the Far Out Fairy Tales stories: an explanation of the original story, illustrated representation of the main differences between the original and Far Out version, questions to get the reader to think about what they’ve read and a glossary that explains tricky words.

My main nitpick with this story is that I was disappointed Ninja-rella ran from the Prince so he wouldn’t see her rags at midnight. I would’ve thought this Cinderella wouldn’t give a damn about her clothes and what others thought of them. However I concede it’s a necessary evil to move the plot along to the all important search for the owner of the glass katana.

As a side note, I always found it bizarre in the version I grew up with that at midnight all of the fairy godmother magic is undone – except for the slipper the Prince took door to door. Surely the glass slipper should have vanished or transformed back into its pre-magic form like everything else?

Rating: 5 out of 5.

Once Upon a Blurb

Cinderella’s stepmother and two stepsisters treat her like dirt. Each and every day, they force her to clean their clothes, cook their meals, and only give her rags to wear and crumbs to eat. But each night, in secret and in shadows, Cinderella trains to be a ninja! More than anything, Cinderella yearns to become the Prince’s personal bodyguard. When the opportunity to prove her worth to the Prince finally arrives in the form of an invitation to a royal costume ball, Cinderella’s stepmother won’t let her go! But this time around, Ninja-rella isn’t going to take “no” for an answer …

Unicorn (and Horse) – David Miles

Illustrations – Hollie Mengert

Yes, another unicorn book! Whenever I discover another unicorn book be assured you will hear about it. 😃

Unicorn and horse may share a pen but they do not share a personality. Unicorn is a dancing, prancing, cheery unicorn who eats pink cupcakes for every meal. Horse is not. Horse has the funniest surly, snarky attitude and is secretly jealous of unicorn, with all of his friends and rainbow farts. Yes, this unicorn farts rainbows!!! 💨 🌈

All is normal, with unicorn happy and horse not. Then unicorn is kidnapped by a couple of thieves wearing convict stripes and Zorro masks. Uh oh! Will horse save the day or will he enjoy having the pen to himself?

The illustrations are sweet, colourful and quirky. There aren’t a great deal of words in this book but the illustrations more than make up for it, bringing all of the emotions of the characters to life. Besides our chipper unicorn and cranky horse, we also meet some mice, squirrels, a bird, a fox and a turtle, who are all just gorgeous.

I’m not going to tell you that my favourite illustration is of the unicorn farting rainbows because that would be too obvious. Instead I’ll tell you my favourites of the two main characters. I love horse standing under the dark cloud with rain dripping off him and a soaked flower crown hanging around his neck.

I adore the pink cupcake picnic with unicorn, fox, two squirrels and two mice together on a pink picnic rug, unicorn regally offering a cupcake to horse in one of his hooves. The fox is sitting behind unicorn with a cupcake in paw and its tongue is sticking out. 😍

I probably found this story funnier than I should have but between the rainbow farts and horse’s expressions, this was right up my alley! Ultimately it’s a lovely story about friendship and how isolated envy can make you. At the end of the day there’s always going to be enough rainbow farts and pink cupcakes to go around.

I need to read this book about another hundred times before I return it to my library, at which time I expect I’ll need to buy my own copy.

Rating: 5 out of 5.

Once Upon a Blurb

Unicorn is a unicorn. And Horse is, well … not.

Horse is brown. Horse is plain. And Horse can’t stand the unicorn he shares a pen with. Unicorn dances. Tra la la! Horse does not. Blah blah blah. But when robbers kidnap Unicorn for a local circus, what will Horse decide to do?

Packed with forty-eight pages of hilarious illustrations and deadpan wit, Unicorn (and Horse) is a funny yet endearing lesson on envy with one important truth: We are sometimes unicorns. We are sometimes horses. And happiness doesn’t always come from pink cupcakes for breakfast.

WeirDo #10: Messy Weird! – Anh Do

Illustrations – Jules Faber

The WeirDo books always make me smile and this one was no exception. I don’t care what Weir and his friends and family get up to because no matter what, I feel like the world is a brighter, shinier place after spending some time with them.

Anh ‘Can-Do-No-Wrong’ Do has done it again in Messy Weird! The Do family have just moved house and there are a lot of chores to complete. With Mother’s Day just around the corner, Weir realises he doesn’t have enough money to get his Mum a special present. Armed with a list of chores, the promise of pocket money and friends Bella and Henry to add some laughs, Weir sets out to make his Mum proud of him.

Including plenty of the quirky illustrations I’ve come to love in Anh Do’s books and the splashes of colour amongst the black and white (this book features bright yellow), the kids do their best as they deal with an exploding vacuum, a washing machine disaster and other funny household mishaps. They even find instructions for buried treasure!

My favourite illustration puts a new spin on a wild goose chase, with jet powered roller skates and a skateboard ridden by geese with Viking helmets. I just love the way illustrator Jules Faber brings Anh’s WeirDo-ness to life.

I’m ready for book 11 now!

Rating: 5 out of 5.

Once Upon a Blurb

The Do family has a messy new house to clean up! Weir, Bella and Henry decide to do some extra work to earn pocket money. But can they handle wild lawns, dirty dishes and a vacuum cleaner explosion? It won’t be easy … but it will be FUNNY!

Dr David Galbraith #1: White is the Coldest Colour – John Nicholl

I’ve never enjoyed thinking about how many tortuous, excruciating and imaginative ways I could kill off a book villain as much as I did when reading about the big bad in White is the Coldest Colour. This is not a villain that you love to hate. This is a villain you want to suffer as much as possible before his eventual bloody demise.

Dr David Galbraith is many things. He is a husband, a father, an esteemed colleague, a renowned child psychiatrist. He is also a master manipulator and sadistic predator. He terrorises his family and his child victims alike, and he consistently gets away with it because he’s so good at what he does. He uses his intelligence to come across as charismatic and charming when the situation calls for it and because of his position in the community and his chameleonic prowess, no one suspects him. His true colours are only on display when and to whom he chooses, and if his control slips for a moment and his true self is revealed, he can easily lay on the charm and regain control.

While there’s certainly no shortage of paperback villains, Dr David Galbraith stands apart from the usual big bad in the chilling authenticity of his portrayal. The way he interacts with his wife will be hauntingly familiar to readers who have experienced the brutality of domestic violence. The calculated measures undertaken to groom the child and family of a potential new victim will shine a light on the predatory nature of child molesters.

I can’t remember the last book that genuinely scared me before this one. Give me horror, blood and guts, serial killers or clowns and I’ll enjoy watching from the sidelines, but real life? Real life can offer the scariest plots of all and the events in this book will reflect portions of some readers’ reality – and that is scary as hell to think about.

I stumbled upon this book when I found its sequel on NetGalley and needed to know what led to the events in When Evil Calls Your Name before I read Cynthia Galbraith’s story. Having never heard of this author before I’ve now found a new favourite. If John Nicholl’s other books have even echoes of the dark, gritty nature of White is the Coldest Colour then I know I need to read everything he’s ever written.

This book is definitely not for the faint of heart. It’s confronting, painful and real. Because of the author’s experience in police and child protection there’s an authenticity to the conversations and behaviours of the predators that gave me the creeps in a way I find lacking in most crime novels.

Rating: 5 out of 5.

Once Upon a Blurb

Be careful who you trust …

The Mailer family is oblivious to the terrible danger that enters their lives when seven-year-old Anthony is referred to the child guidance service by the family GP, following the breakdown of his parents’ marriage.

Fifty-eight-year-old Dr David Galbraith, a sadistic, predatory paedophile, employed as a consultant child psychiatrist, has already murdered one child in the soundproofed cellar below the South Wales Georgian town-house he shares with his wife and two young daughters.

When Anthony becomes Galbraith’s latest obsession he will stop at nothing to make his grotesque fantasies reality.

But can Anthony be saved before it’s too late?

Time Shift Trilogy #1: The Year of Lightning – Ryan Dalton

I expect this review is going to show you why it is imperative to write your review, or at the very least some notes about how the book makes you feel, within a day of finishing the book. That way you’re not stuck trying to find the words to tell anyone who will listen what an incredible book it was that you finished reading almost seven weeks ago! So here goes …

I found The Year of Lightning sort of by accident. I was so interested in the blurb for Ryan Dalton’s The Genesis Flame that I couldn’t request a copy through NetGalley quickly enough. It was only once I was approved (YIPPEE!) that I realised I’d just been given a review copy of the third book in the series (OOPS!). Once I’d read the blurbs for the first two books I decided that I’d be missing out greatly if I didn’t read these in order, so I bought The Year of Lightning. I mean, we’re talking about a time travelling super villain here! What’s not to love?!

I had this brilliant idea that I’d read the first book and then contact the publisher to beg/plead/grovel for a review copy of the second book. Begging/pleading/grovelling are not beneath me and as I hadn’t had an income for over three months at that time I could make a pretty pathetic poor me case. Why do I tell you that? Because I was so enthralled by this book that before I’d even made it a quarter of the way through it I bought the sequel, ignoring the fact that I didn’t know how many more months I’d have to wait to see another dollar. That’s how much I loved this book!

Even this long after I finished reading, the story and characters have stayed with me. I loved the mystery of the house across the street that has no doors and may have some strange connection to the over abundance of lightning nearby.

Outside, a dark figure drifted down the street, cloaked in shadow. Approaching the house with no doors, it touched the rain-soaked wall and melted through in a flash of light.

How can you read that quote and not want to read the entire book?!

I loved the relationship between fifteen year old twins, history geek Malcolm and science geek Valentine, and the gentle exploration of their grief, particularly how it’s affecting them personally and in their relationships. I love that when describing herself and her twin Valentine comes up with “Loner, bookworm, geek”. These are my people!

I loved their new friends – conspiracy aficionado Winter, supposedly superficial Fred (the party’s at his house!), bubbly Brynne, holder of the gossip Carly and John, man of mystery. I love that we don’t have to suffer in the presence of the cool kids in this book. In this book we hang out with the newspaper team!

I loved that the kids go to Emmett Brown High School! The Back to the Future obsessive in me adores that cute time travel Easter egg. Maybe I was looking for BTTF references that weren’t intended after learning the name of the school but I also came across references including a clocktower and Copernicus, plus the obvious one – countless bolts of lightning with their glorious 1.21 gigawatts striking all around the town.

My favourite characters were the oldies. Oma Grace is practically your dream grandmother; supportive, adorable and beyond cool. I loved their crotchety neighbour, Walter Crane. Walter became (and remains) my absolute favourite character.

I enjoyed the adventure and mystery, I felt part of the friendships, I laughed and I ugly cried. Glancing through my highlighted passages I’ve gotten hyped up about these characters and their adventure again. I can’t believe I haven’t started the second book yet. I have to know what happens next because … holy cliffhanger, Batman!

Rating: 5 out of 5.

Once Upon a Blurb

When 15-year-old twins Malcolm and Valentine Gilbert moved to a new town, they never imagined that the old house across the street could bring them so much trouble. A secret machine has reawakened inside, with the power to pierce time itself.

Meanwhile, lightning storms are breaking out all over town. They’re getting worse every week, and seem to enjoy striking kids who just want to pass science class and mind their own business. When Malcolm and Valentine discover a connection between the house and the storms, their situation goes from mysterious to crazy stupid dangerous. Someone is controlling the great machine, and their purpose is nearly complete.

In a race against time, the twins must uncover the chilling plan, the mastermind behind it, and the force that’s driving the deadly storms. They’ll hunt a powerful enemy that threatens their town’s existence, and the only clues are written in the sky.

Starfish – Akemi Dawn Bowman

I live my life in the small place between “uncomfortable” and “awkward.”

I don’t know how to even begin to explain how I feel about Starfish so I’ll start with something easy. That cover!!! Sarah Creech has created one of the most beautiful covers I’ve ever seen! This artist must be an author’s dream come true. The colours, the layout, the design, the awesomeness of it all combined!

I need this cover image available as a print so I can frame it and admire it every day. I also need Sarah commissioned to create artwork of all of the paintings and drawings described in the book because I really, really need a special limited edition illustrated version of Starfish signed by the author and illustrator in my life. Me, me, me, me, me! Argh! I’m a starfish! Moving on …

I don’t know that I’ve ever experienced such a deep bookish connection with a main character before. I felt my name could have been transposed with Kiko’s so many times and yet there were parts of her story that I’ll never understand.

Kiko’s experience of social anxiety is the most honest and realistic portrayal I have ever come across. I would have been right with her attempting to melt into the wall at a party if I’d had the courage to go in the first place. I was impressed by her ability to push through her fear to be in the vicinity of more than one other person at a time sometimes, even though her successes in that area seemed to be fuelled mostly by her need for approval.

People terrify me. I’d probably spend the whole night wishing I had the superpower to make myself invisible. I don’t know how to be any other way.

Her constant feeling of being out of place, weird and different to everyone else hit home for me, as did her pathological need to be ‘enough’ for a person whose expectations are both unrealistic and impossible to meet. I loved her introspection and keen insights into the actions of those around her and her own feelings and behaviour.

I loved that Kiko has a Japanese father and caucasian mother. I desperately wanted her to learn more about her Japanese heritage. I wished that I had siblings but didn’t envy their relationship. I wanted to be friends with Kiko and Emery. I loved Jamie so much that even though I’m anti-romance I wanted Kiko and Jamie to become a couple.

I’ve always felt like I desperately needed to say my feelings out loud – to form the words and get them out of me, because they’ve always felt like dark clouds in my head that contaminate everything around them.

The long term effects of childhood sexual abuse were handled sensitively. The lingering self doubt, guilt and shame were realistic, as were the character’s experiences and internal dialogue as a result of way this trauma was handled by the people they should have been able to trust to protect them.

The physical abandonment by one parent and the emotional abandonment by the other had me getting pretty imaginative with the voodoo doll depiction in my head of Kiko’s mother. Kiko’s fear of abandonment, rejection and of never being enough were all logical but heartbreaking responses to really dysfunctional family dynamics.

I draw a dragon breaking free from its grave and finally seeing what its wings and fire are for.

Kiko finds her voice through her art and the more she explored her feelings through painting and drawing the more I wished I had the ability to translate images in my head to paper and canvas in that way. I’m one of those people who can sort of draw a fairly decent stick figure sometimes as long as they’re just standing there. I loved the use of art as therapy although I did think that the ending was a bit too easy.

I know there were struggles, anguish and angst along the way but Kiko must be made of stronger stuff than I am. If Kiko’s story was my story I am pretty certain there’d be an epilogue that mentioned how well my therapy was going. There was a point in the book where I had to stop reading for a while because some of the responses Kiko experienced were hitting a bit too close to home. If I had to nitpick I’d point out that while Kiko became all about being her own person and making her life her own, she’s not the one who submits the application that gets her on the life path of her dreams.

I felt for sure that Kiko would remain my favourite character but then I met Hiroshi. My candidate for both Father of the Year and Best Mentor Ever, Hiroshi is wise, sensitive, accepting, vulnerable, loving and adorable! I wanted to hug him, take art classes from him and simply sit and listen to him talk about his life and the world for the rest of my life. Hiroshi is one of those people that you meet and hope they’ll adopt you into their family. Everything about him reminded me that family is not defined by blood.

“I want you to tell me a story. Tell me anger. Tell me sorrow. Tell me happiness. Just tell me something that matters to you.”

Akemi Dawn Bowman’s writing is so beautiful and the translation of Kiko’s feelings to artwork was poetic and stunning. I felt a deep connection with so many characters and didn’t want to finish reading because I wanted to continue to hang out with Kiko and Hiroshi. I saw people in my own life in some of the characters I didn’t connect with and gained some insights into their toxicity, which became some of my favourite lightbulb moments in the book. My favourite passage was the story of the sun goddess, Amaterasu.

Thank you so much to NetGalley and Ink Road, an imprint of Black & White Publishing, for the opportunity to read this incredible debut novel. I cannot wait for this author’s next book to be released.

Rating: 5 out of 5.

Once Upon a Blurb

A half-Japanese teen grapples with social anxiety and her narcissist mother in the wake of a crushing rejection from art school in this debut novel.

Kiko Himura has always had a hard time saying exactly what she’s thinking. With a mother who makes her feel unremarkable and a half-Japanese heritage she doesn’t quite understand, Kiko prefers to keep her head down, certain that once she makes it into her dream art school, Prism, her real life will begin. 

But then Kiko doesn’t get into Prism, at the same time her abusive uncle moves back in with her family. So when she receives an invitation from her childhood friend to leave her small town and tour art schools on the west coast, Kiko jumps at the opportunity in spite of the anxieties and fears that attempt to hold her back. And now that she is finally free to be her own person outside the constricting walls of her home life, Kiko learns life-changing truths about herself, her past, and how to be brave.

From debut author Akemi Dawn Bowman comes a luminous, heartbreaking story of identity, family, and the beauty that emerges when we embrace our true selves.