Tag: Sexual Assault

The Girl in the Dark – Angela Hart

Angela and Jonathan are foster carers who have also completed training to become specialist carers for “teenagers with complex needs”. The latest addition to their family is Melissa, who requires a short term placement. Melissa is a sweet, polite and seemingly young twelve year old, yet she has a history of running away from foster care.

While Angela and Jonathan have fostered children for several years, Melissa is the first “runner” that’s been placed in their home. They don’t know if she’s running from or to something and are given very little information about her history so they’re not quite sure what’s in store for them.

Though their experiences with Melissa are central to this book, Ryan and Marty, whose time in their home overlapped Melissa’s, are also discussed. Vicky, who I presume is the same girl in Angela’s previous book, Terrified, also appears briefly.

I vacillated between feeling like a voyeur, wanting to know more about this young girl’s life, and treating the story as fictionalised in order to assuage the intrusiveness I felt. I was glad to read that “Certain details in this story, including names, places and dates, have been changed to protect the family’s privacy” although at the same time I knew the horror I would feel if I learned a foster parent (even using a pseudonym) had published my story without my consent, regardless of how much it had been altered to de-identify me.

Given the author states she has had no contact with Melissa since the final time she ran away, there’s no indication permission was granted by her for her story to be published, which concerned me. It also seemed incongruous to be consistently reading about how the author wouldn’t divulge private details about any of her foster children to current or prior foster kids or even her mother, who was babysitting them, when I was reading all about them (albeit de-identified) in a published book.

I’ve been hesitant to read books based on real foster care experiences because of my concerns about privacy but can also see their benefit, as they provide insight into this often hidden world. It was the recommendation from Torey Hayden, whose books I devoured in my early twenties, that made me finally bite the bullet.

Good foster carers really should be praised for their tireless efforts in providing stability and a safe place for some of the most vulnerable young people. I hope books like this spur people into action who have considered fostering, as more foster carers are always needed.

I was frustrated by the rules that foster carers were expected to follow in the 1990’s when the events of this book are said to have taken place; rules that are supposed to protect foster children but instead leave them vulnerable to additional harm. I can only hope this broken system has been changed for the better in the UK since that time.

Thank you to NetGalley and Bluebird, an imprint of Pan Macmillan, for the opportunity to read this book.

Rating: 3.5 out of 5.

Once Upon a Blurb

Melissa is a sweet-natured girl with a disturbing habit of running away and mixing with the wrong crowd. After she’s picked up by the police, and with nowhere else to go, she is locked in a secure unit with young offenders. Social Services beg specialist foster carer Angela to take her in, but can she keep the testing 12-year-old safe? And will Angela ever learn what, or who, drove Melissa to run and hide, sometimes in the dead of night? 

The Girl in the Dark is the sixth book from well-loved foster carer Angela Hart. A true story that shares the tale of one of the many children she has fostered over the years. Angela’s stories show the difference that quiet care, a watchful eye, and sympathetic ear can make to those children whose upbringing has been less fortunate than others.

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The Devil Aspect – Craig Russell

Spoilers Ahead!

‘Maybe it would be best,’ she said at last, ‘if you left the Devil alone in his hiding place.’

This book had so much to love – a serial killer on the loose, a medieval castle with a dark history that’s now an asylum and a psychiatrist delving into the minds of the most notorious murderers in Europe, all steeped in folklore and mythology and set in the lead up to WWII.

I adored the settings, from the creepy castle to the shadowy forests and the bone church. The writing flowed well and it felt like the author had done a lot of research, particularly around Central European myths and legends, which I need to learn more about now that I’ve had a taste. I really enjoyed the blend of psychology and mythology.

Here am I and I here stay, for this is where Evil resides. Here am I and I here stay, for this is where the Devil hides.

The idea of having a front row seat (nestled behind the safety of the pages) when infamous criminally insane people told their stories was a big draw card for me. While I was interested in the backgrounds of each of the Devil’s Six, none of them gave me the chills I experienced when I first met Hannibal Lector so many years ago.

I found myself just getting into one of the Six’s stories and then it would be over; I’d want more but the story moved on. Each of the six could have had an entire book devoted to their story so sitting in on one session with their psychiatrist was never going to be enough for me. I was disappointed when I found some of their stories fairly predictable, especially the Vegetarian’s.

Has obsessing over more than 300 episodes of Criminal Minds finally ruined me? I am notoriously terrible at figuring out who did it and why, yet there’s been a disturbing recent development; I’ve been working out who did it early on and then spending the rest of the book hoping for a blindside that never arrives. It happened again here and I don’t know if it’s because I’ve magically levelled up in my ability to sniff out the clues from the red herrings or if it really was that obvious.

Thank you to NetGalley and Constable, an imprint of Little, Brown Book Group UK, for the opportunity to read this book.

Rating: 3.5 out of 5.

Once Upon a Blurb

In 1935, Viktor Kosárek, a psychiatrist newly trained by Carl Jung, arrives at the infamous Hrad Orlu Asylum for the Criminally Insane. The state-of-the-art facility is located in a medieval mountaintop castle outside of Prague, though the site is infamous for concealing dark secrets going back many generations. The asylum houses the country’s six most treacherous killers – known to the staff as The Woodcutter, The Clown, The Glass Collector, The Vegetarian, The Sciomancer, and The Demon – and Viktor hopes to use a new medical technique to prove that these patients share a common archetype of evil, a phenomenon known as The Devil Aspect. As he begins to learn the stunning secrets of these patients, five men and one woman, Viktor must face the disturbing possibility that these six may share another dark truth.

Meanwhile, in Prague, fear grips the city as a phantom serial killer emerges in the dark alleys. Police investigator Lukas Smolak, desperate to locate the culprit (dubbed Leather Apron in the newspapers), realizes that the killer is imitating the most notorious serial killer from a century earlier – London’s Jack the Ripper. Smolak turns to the doctors at Hrad Orlu for their expertise with the psychotic criminal mind, though he worries that Leather Apron might have some connection to the six inmates in the asylum.

Steeped in the folklore of Eastern Europe, and set in the shadow of Nazi darkness erupting just beyond the Czech border, this stylishly written, tightly coiled, richly imagined novel is propulsively entertaining, and impossible to put down.

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SHOUT – Laurie Halse Anderson

This is the story of a girl who lost her voice and wrote herself a new one.

I expect I’m one of the only ones reading SHOUT before they’ve read Speak. I’ve had Speak on my ‘I absolutely have to read this book’ list for as long as I can remember but still haven’t read it. I searched my local library for it but they don’t own it. I tried for several years to buy it on Kindle but it wasn’t available to purchase in my country (I just checked and it’s still not an option). I finally bit the bullet and added it to my Book Depository order last year and it’s been looking at me ever since from my shelf, quietly asking me why I haven’t opened its pages.

Honestly? It’s intimidated me. It’s the book about sexual assault and while I’ve read so many others, I think I’ve worried about what it will bring up for me when I do finally read it. So, long story slightly shorter, my plan is to SHOUT, then Speak, and then SHOUT again. I’m interested to see if my perspective on SHOUT changes after I’ve read Speak. I guess time will tell.

The first section of this book is essentially memoir in free verse. Laurie takes the reader on a journey through a series of childhood memories; a father haunted by war when alcohol isn’t numbing his memories, a mother silenced, her own experiences of school, work and surviving sexual assault. I really loved reading about Laurie’s experience as an exchange student in Denmark and would happily devour as much information as I could about those 13 months; what I’ve read has sparked an interest in Danish culture.

The second section, which begins almost two thirds of the way through the book, broke my heart as Laurie shared just a handful of stories about her interactions with other survivors, whose young bodies have been invaded and lives changed, most often by those they know and should have been able to trust. Although this section made me cry one of the things that got to me the most was something hopeful – the colourful ribbons tied to fences in Ballarat, Australia in support of the abused, which ultimately created Loud Fence. The images of those ribbons of support broke me.

This section includes responses from readers, students who have heard Laurie speak, teachers and librarians; those who need to share their story, those who don’t understand what was so bad about Melinda’s experience in Speak, those who want to censor “inappropriate” reading material.

I’m not sure how to sum up the third section other than to say that it was the shortest section but also the one in which I shed most tears. Laurie’s final poems about her parents simply gutted me.

Although it’s clearly stated in the blurb I still hadn’t thought there’d be as much memoir as there was in this book. I’d expected a greater percentage of poems to be directly addressing sexual assault, even though there are plenty that do. When my expectations didn’t line up with reality I thought I’d be disappointed but I wasn’t and I’m already ready for a reread. I expect that I will revisit this book each time I read one of Laurie’s books that are mentioned here, to search out her favourite scenes and glimpses of the story behind the story.

There’s a vulnerability here and it’s entwined with strength, determination, courage, resilience and so much compassion. While I finished this book with a contented sigh I’m still yearning for more. Luckily for me, as this is the first of Laurie’s books that I’ve read (shame on me!), I still have plenty to explore.

Thank you, Laurie Halse Anderson, for sharing some of your life in this book, for breaking my heart, growing my empathy, giving me so many amazing passages to highlight and inspiring me. I will see you on Ultima Thule.

Thank you so much to NetGalley and Viking, an imprint of Penguin Random House LLC, for the opportunity to read this book.

Rating: 5 out of 5.

Once Upon a Blurb

Bestselling author Laurie Halse Anderson is known for the unflinching way she writes about, and advocates for, survivors of sexual assault. Now, inspired by her fans and enraged by how little in our culture has changed since her groundbreaking novel Speak was first published twenty years ago, she has written a poetry memoir that is as vulnerable as it is rallying, as timely as it is timeless.

In free verse, Anderson shares reflections, rants, and calls to action woven between deeply personal stories from her life that she’s never written about before. Searing and soul-searching, this important memoir is a denouncement of our society’s failures and a love letter to all the people with the courage to say #metoo and #timesup, whether aloud, online, or only in their own hearts. Shout speaks truth to power in a loud, clear voice – and once you hear it, it is impossible to ignore.

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Say Something – Cathy Morrison

I’ve read every review that’s been written about this book so far and they’re pretty much overwhelmingly positive so I’ll start by alerting you to those and encouraging you to read some of them to balance out what I have to say. I really hope this book will help readers, those who will be validated by seeing themselves in Maggie’s story and those whose eyes will be opened and their sensitivity engaged by what they find in its pages.

I’m always on the lookout for good books about sexual assault and I applaud anyone who tackles this horrendous topic at all so it breaks my heart that I couldn’t five star this book and tell you all that you absolutely have to read it immediately.

There’s something about this book that didn’t quite feel authentic to me but even a day after finishing reading I can’t put my finger on exactly what it is. The author spoke to survivors, counsellors and members of law enforcement and I think it’s wonderful they took the time to do that, yet it reads at times like they were spending so much time trying to tick all the boxes on a list they’d collated from their research that there wasn’t much time left to truly bring Maggie’s experience to life.

For example, Maggie feels angry because her mother forced her to recant what she’d told a friend about the man who sexually abused her. Of course she’s angry but that doesn’t even begin to explain what that feels like. Show me the abandonment Maggie experienced when the one person in this world she should have been able to rely on to protect her above anyone else instead took the side of the man who’d abused her. Show me how Maggie felt when her mother told her that the perpetrator was only being affectionate and how the denial of something that Maggie knew without a shadow of a doubt to be the truth then led her to question her very reality; if something she knew for sure could be so easily dismissed then how she ever really be sure about anything again?! Please don’t just tell me she was angry.

I don’t know. Maybe because of my own experiences I’m pulling this to bits too much. This book does get a lot right about the long term effects of sexual abuse and it does tick a lot of the boxes. Maybe it’s wrong of me to expect this book to take a deep dive on what Maggie’s experience would really feel like but even some aspects of the abuse itself didn’t sit right with me, like the fact that Maggie’s abuser immediately stopped abusing her when her mother asked him about it. While some perpetrators would stop their abuse once confronted there is no way this specific man would have.

The insta romance annoyed me so much! Part of this will no doubt be a byproduct of my romantiphobia. Other readers have loved this romance but it drove me crazy. After only four dates she told this boy her most painful secret, the first time she’s spoken about it in almost ten years (with the exception of a counsellor she sees sometimes). Really? And she calls him “my boy”. 🤢

“My boy” takes it upon himself to decide what Maggie needs and goes into full blown action mode without even consulting her. This is a young woman whose life was turned upside down as a direct result of loss of control so, while I was never going to think a boy taking it upon himself to make critical decisions for a girl without her input was romantic, it was even less so in Maggie’s situation. And “my boy” takes control of Maggie’s decisions after he’s already decided that if he ever meets the perpetrator he’s going to beat him up. Hello, toxic masculinity!

The only character I really liked in this book was Kelvin. Maggie irritated me, “my boy” spent much of the book practising his own weird blend of sensitivity and the toxic masculinity thing and Maggie’s mother drove me crazy, but at least she was realistic. I hated her mother’s responses to Maggie’s abuse and I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I did understand where she was coming from (I still think that almost any response other than the one she had would have been a better choice).

While it’s great that Maggie was able to report her abuse to authorities it bugged me that other options weren’t explored. Not everyone reports sexual abuse and not everyone who does report it gets a result that could be even accidentally mistaken for justice. I’m all for reporting if a survivor chooses to do so but there’s an unfair expectation that if you’ve been victimised in this way then it’s your responsibility to protect potential future victims by reporting this crime. This puts a huge burden on people and if they do report and the perpetrator gets away with it then it can be even more devastating for the survivor in the long run. They can feel like it was their fault the perpetrator is still free to potentially assault other people, when the sole responsibility for past, present and potential future abuse lies with the abuser.

The Hallmark ending sets up unrealistic expectations for anyone considering reporting sexual abuse. Had Maggie reported her abuse to the police in my state she would’ve been told flat out that because she had no physical evidence of the abuse there was almost no chance the perpetrator would be able to be charged, let alone make it to trial. Sure, the introduction of other victims would have helped the case but I’ve known of rapes where the perpetrator wasn’t even interviewed because the crime wasn’t reported immediately.

Regardless of my feelings about the specifics of this book I really do hope it finds its way into the hands of those who would benefit from reading it. Once again, please read other reviews before deciding if this book is for you or not. I’m just one opinion and I’m an outlier.

Thank you so much to NetGalley and Cold Fire Publishing, LLC for the opportunity to read this book.

Rating: 3 out of 5.

Once Upon a Blurb

Little beauty.

That’s what he called me when he stole my innocence. I was a trusting, little girl, and he ruined everything. I tried to tell someone, but my mother made me change my story. After all these years, I still carry this dark secret in my heart.

Now there’s this guy in my class. A nice guy. And he likes me. He makes me think that maybe, just maybe, I could be normal. I could be happy. Just when things are getting good, the pervert barrels back into my life and I discover another little girl is in danger.

Now, what do I do? I can stay safe and silent … or I can do whatever it takes to make sure he never calls another girl “little beauty” again.

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The Quiet You Carry – Nikki Barthelmess

none of us can understand what’s going on in another person’s life from the outside looking in. No one can really see the quiet you carry, unless you let them.

Victoria lives with her father, stepmother and stepsister. Well, she did until the night her father locked her out of the house. Suddenly this shy, studious 17 year old finds herself stuck attending a new school in a new town and living with a foster mother who appears to hate her. Everything she thought she knew about her life has crumbled around her in a confusing mess.

Foster care isn’t one size fits all in how kids wind up in care in the first place or their experiences once there. There are so many negative stereotypes about foster kids so I was delighted to discover that Victoria wasn’t a stereotype. It never occurs to her to quit school and give up on her dreams because of circumstances outside of her control. There’s no smooth sailing here but she’s determined to move on from this experience and not allow it to define her.

Victoria’s foster care experience, while it sounds horrendous, is fairly average. Some foster kids fortunately land in families that provide the love, protection and encouragement they so desperately need and at the other end of the spectrum there are those who wind up in abusive situations that mimic those they were removed from. The portrayal of overworked caseworkers is sadly realistic and the shame of being a foster kid is all too real.

Nikki Barthelmess notes that while this book is fiction, she spent a number of years in foster care herself. I think it’s a testament to Nikki’s resilience that she has managed to articulate so well the way foster care feels. While there are some minor details in the way things unfold in the story that I could perhaps question (and will in a minute) I have nothing but praise for the authenticity of Victoria’s feelings from beginning to end.

I loved that Victoria has Christina and a boy named after a vegetable supporting her the entire time, before they know her story and, even more importantly, after. She also has supportive teaching staff, who truly can make a world of difference in a foster kid’s life.

I only hope that foster kids who read this book have someone in their corner as well because foster care can be such a lonely and terrifying experience. Even with support being a foster kid can make you feel so separate from other kids, who are worried about things like makeup and clothes while you’re worrying about the potential consequences if you tell the truth about what’s happened to you and where you’ll go next if this foster home doesn’t work out.

I found it difficult to believe (maybe it’s wishful thinking on my part) that in juvie a male worker would be responsible for searching a teenage girl. I would hope that if it was protocol to do a physical search for new arrivals that a female worker would do this for girls. I also found it weird that Victoria’s best friend doesn’t try to make contact with her when she drops off the face of the Earth; sure, Victoria doesn’t have access to a phone or social media anymore but her email account is still active.

Because of my own experiences and those of other foster kids I’ve known I had expected this book’s contents to be more brutal. I’m not saying everything is peachy or anything. My content warnings alone give you some indication of what to expect. I’m sure that what’s described in this book would be shocking for a lot of people so I expect I’m an outlier in this regard.

There needs to be more YA and kid’s books about the foster care system. When I was in the system I would have loved to have seen any aspect of my experience mirrored by a character I was reading about. This book will hopefully be an eye opener for people who don’t know the foster care system from the inside and provide much needed empathy and validation to those who find themselves fostered, for whatever reason.

Thank you so much to NetGalley and Flux, an imprint of North Star Editions, for the opportunity to read this book.

Rating: 4 out of 5.

Once Upon a Blurb

Victoria Parker knew her dad’s behaviour toward her was a little unusual, but she convinced herself everything was fine – until she found herself locked out of the house at 3:00 a.m., surrounded by flashing police lights. 

Now, dumped into a crowded, chaotic foster home, Victoria has to tiptoe around her domineering foster mother, get through senior year at a new school, and somehow salvage her college dreams … all while keeping her past hidden.

But some secrets won’t stay buried – especially when unwanted memories make Victoria freeze up at random moments and nightmares disrupt her sleep. Even worse, she can’t stop worrying about her stepsister Sarah, left behind with her father. All she wants is to move forward, but how do you focus on the future when the past won’t leave you alone?

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Ellery Hathaway #2: No Mercy – Joanna Schaffhausen

I fell in love with Bump immediately in The Vanishing Season and now he’s back, shedding fur throughout the pages of No Mercy. Ellery and Reed are back, too. After the events of the first book (you could read this book as a standalone but I’d highly recommend reading them in order) Ellery has been suspended from her job and forced into group therapy with other survivors of violent crimes.

Because this is Ellery she’s not so interested in looking inward because, ugh, feelings! Rather, this is the perfect opportunity to get herself personally involved in the crimes affecting some of the other group members. Ellery starts investigating an unsolved sexual assault, whose perpetrator may be responsible for a number of other assaults. She also manages to get entangled in a historic arson case despite the convicted arsonist having already spent decades in prison.

Naturally Ellery, who is strong, determined and at times petulant, jumps in head first and pretty soon Reed, FBI profiler and the man who rescued her from Francis Coben’s closet many years ago, has joined her in Boston. Even though Ellery basically has Reed wrapped around her little finger I still really like him, or maybe I just want him to cook for me. No matter how much I like Reed he’s a runner up to his adorable daughter, Tula, who’s my favourite human character of this book. Sorry, but no human could ever own a piece of my heart like Bump does!

I loved that there was more of a focus on Ellery and Reed’s relationship in this book. Their initial interactions in the first book were understandably awkward because of their shared history up to that point. While they’re still finding their way they’re more comfortable in each other’s presence and they’re building a more equal relationship, although Reed still feels the need to protect Ellery and Ellery still understandably chafes at physical and emotional closeness with any man, even Reed.

Cover Rant: When I reviewed The Vanishing Season I’d only seen the American cover and thought it was nice enough, if a bit tame as a representation of Ellery’s personality and story. Then I saw the UK version which, pardon the pun, nailed it! The American cover for No Mercy again falls short for me while the UK version shines. The American cover for this book doesn’t give the reader any sense of who Ellery is or what this story is about. I think Ellery would be disappointed that there isn’t anything gritty or honest about this cover. Sure, looking outside the window you can tell that the story has moved to the city, but the matches on the UK cover? They grab my attention and make me want to know more!

Thank you so much to NetGalley and Minotaur Books, an imprint of St. Martin’s Press, for the opportunity to read this book. Please publish the third book soon! I’m hanging off a cliff here waiting to find out what’s next for Reed!!!

Rating: 5 out of 5.

Once Upon a Blurb

Police officer Ellery Hathaway is on involuntary leave from her job because she shot a murderer in cold blood and refuses to apologise for it. Forced into group therapy for victims of violent crime, Ellery immediately finds higher priorities than “getting in touch with her feelings.” 

For one, she suspects a fellow group member may have helped to convict the wrong man for a deadly arson incident years ago. For another, Ellery finds herself in the desperate clutches of a woman who survived a brutal rape. He is still out there, this man with the Spider-Man-like ability to climb through bedroom windows, and his victim beseeches Ellery for help in capturing her attacker.

Ellery seeks advice from her friend, FBI profiler Reed Markham, who liberated her from a killer’s closet when she was a child. Reed remains drawn to this unpredictable woman, the one he rescued but couldn’t quite save. The trouble is, Reed is up for a potential big promotion, and his boss has just one condition for the new job – stay away from Ellery. Ellery ignores all the warnings. Instead, she starts digging around in everyone’s past but her own – a move that, at best, could put her out of work permanently, and at worst, could put her in the city morgue.

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I Had Such Friends – Meg Gatland-Veness

Charlie Parker, who was loved by everyone (including his teachers), has died. The entire school has been deeply affected by his death at the beginning of Year 12. Well, everyone except Hamish and his only friend Martin. Hamish hasn’t been the same since a tragedy in his own family years ago and he thinks he knows what Annie, Charlie’s girlfriend and the prettiest girl in school, is going through.

Back then, I thought I was invincible. Back then, I didn’t realise children could die.

It’s a hard book to review for a couple of reasons. Most of the time I didn’t even like the main character, particularly when he kept ditching his only friend because someone more popular was suddenly paying attention to him. I also spent most of the book wondering why a specific character suddenly wanted to spend time with Hamish when they were polar opposites in most respects. This is explained towards the end but, although I liked the other character, I didn’t really take to their unusual friendship. I had guessed a big reveal early on so I didn’t feel the impact of that when it happened.

Some conversations work better in dark rooms where faces are hidden by the quiet.

At times it felt like I was playing YA Social Issue Bingo while reading this book (look at length of my content warnings list if you don’t believe me) but at the same time it was realistic because many high school kids really do have to deal with all of these issues and more.

I appreciated that this book highlights the fact that you really don’t know what is going on in other peoples’ lives. Behind the smile of the prettiest girl in school there could be a world of pain. Beneath the bravado of the star football player there may be secret shame. I wish that these kids had been given help for their problems or at least been able to tell a trusted adult instead of another kid who didn’t know what to do to help.

I loved that not only does the author live in the same county as me but we even live in the same state. For those of you living in America you will probably never understand how wonderful it feels to actually find your local area represented in a book when it happens so infrequently. Whenever I find a book by a local author I always relish all of the minor details.

In this book the distance between places was measured in kilometres and the temperature was in celsius so I didn’t have to convert any numbers in my head as I was reading. A character ate Vegemite on toast for breakfast. I love Vegemite! The beat up car one of the characters drives? I drive one of those! The tar melting on the road and sticking to the bottom of your shoes? Welcome to summer in Australia!

Once Upon a Nitpick: In chapter 15, Hamish and another character go to the beach. It’s specifically noted that the other character leaves his football in the car and Hamish has a little internal monologue about why this is the case, but on the next page Hamish takes a photo of the other person with the football on the beach. However they never go back to the car to retrieve it.

The sentences that addressed the reader only served to pull me out of the story and the repeated use of “As you know” irritated me. For example,

I guess I don’t need to tell you that Martin hated the beach. As you know, he couldn’t really swim, and he didn’t look too great with his shirt off.

Thank you so much to NetGalley and Pantera Press for the opportunity to read this book. I’m interested in reading this author’s next book.

Rating: 3.5 out of 5.

Once Upon a Blurb

When Charlie Parker dies, it affects everyone who knew him. Everyone, that is, except for seventeen-year-old Hamish Day, the boy who lives on a cabbage farm and only has one friend. But Hamish soon finds himself pulled into the complicated lives of the people left behind. Among them is Annie Bower, the prettiest girl in school. As he uncovers startling truths about his peers, his perspectives on friendship, love, grief and the tragic power of silence are forever altered.

Meg’s own teaching experience has enabled her to delve deeper into the true nature of a universal high school experience. I Had Such Friends will speak to high school students/teenagers on a personal level, and foster important conversations among Australian youth, school and family culture on issues including abuse, failure and neglect.

With hard-hitting themes including unrequited love, abuse, neglect, sexuality, bullying, prejudice, death and suicide, I Had Such Friends is a poignant journey of self-discovery, grief and the tragic power of silence. A gripping look at adolescent pain with a narrative maturity that accurately reflects its YA milieu, I Had Such Friends resonates with young adult audiences and pushes them to reflect on their own ‘sliding doors’ moment.

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Outside – Sarah Ann Juckes

This is a story where the less you know before you read it the better so while I’d usually provide content warnings before my review they’ll be at the end of this one, so it’s up to you if you want to read them or not.

Ele lives Inside a Tower with the Others and collects Proofs of the Outside. She dreams of being an Outside Person instead of an Other but knows there are Dragons, Giants and Ogres Outside. Inside is anything but a fairytale because of Him but Inside is all she knows.

Ele is one of those girls whose story and spirit will super glue themselves inside your mind. Her resilience and spunk under unimaginable circumstances inspire me to want to be as brave and capable of facing my fears as she did hers. Her love of reading endeared her to me and, like [book: Matilda|39988] before her, she reinforced my belief that with books and your imagination you can endure and ultimately overcome any adversity.

Her voice, which I originally found disconcerting and disorienting, became easier to read the more I got to know her. Having only known Inside she doesn’t speak like any other character I’ve read. I loved her descriptions of objects that you and I take for granted and sometimes it took me a while to figure out what it was that she was experiencing.

Maybe it’s because I’ve read so much fiction and nonfiction with similar themes or because I try to focus on all of the details in books I plan on reviewing but I picked up on clues of some potential surprises early on. I was disappointed that there were no big revelations for me but from what I can tell based on early reviews I’m an anomaly. I did keep waiting for the police (or anyone in authority, really) to show up and I found it somewhat suspicious that it took so long but also acknowledge that for the story to unfold the way it did they couldn’t get involved too early.

Free Bonus Short Story! If you sign up to join Sarah’s Reader’s Club at her website you’ll be emailed Inside. It’s available in MOBI, ePub and PDF formats. It accompanies Outside and is really, really good, but I cannot stress this enough – please read Outside first or you’ll be in Spoiler World before you know it. I’m not sure if there’s an expiry date on this offer but the link worked at the time I posted this review.

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Thank you so much to NetGalley and Penguin Random House Children’s UK for the opportunity to read this book.

Rating: 4 out of 5.

Once Upon a Blurb

The Proof of the Outside follows the story of Ele, who is held captive in a small room by a man known as ‘Him’. Ele is determined to prove there is a world Outside. And when she finds a hole in the wall, the proof starts leaking in. In this dark and compelling debut novel, Ele’s strong and heartbreakingly optimistic voice shines through, revealing an important lesson about the power of stories to save lives.

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For Better and Worse – Margot Hunt

I’m sure that practically every parent who learns their child has been molested engages in some fairly imaginative revenge fantasies. For Natalie and Will, whose first date included a discussion about how they could commit the perfect murder together, fantasy has become reality. Are they smart enough to get away with it?

My answer, from the planning through to the execution and beyond, was a resounding “Hell, no!” Between them this couple made so many obvious mistakes I felt it was inevitable they’d be caught. While some of their failures were mentioned there were others that seemed obvious to me but were never brought up.

If the characters had no background in anything vaguely related to crime then I could have easily overlooked some of their missteps and chalked them up to their emotional state after learning of their child’s molestation but they both went to law school and one of them works as a criminal defense attorney! I kept wanting to tell them to binge watch some Criminal Minds, Rizzoli & Isles or any of the CSI or Law and Order franchises. There are so many to choose from and a few episodes of any one of them would have helped prevent some of the face palm moments of this book.

I had expected that a book with such emotionally charged subject matter would be a difficult read but I actually didn’t feel much while reading. I didn’t find anything to like about either of the main characters. If I had connected to them at all I think this would have helped me care if their crime was discovered or not. It turned out that when I started writing my review immediately after finishing the last page I had to double check what their names were. I don’t remember the last time that happened.

Whoever wrote the blurb gave away too much of the story so I wound up spending the first half of the book waiting for something to happen that I didn’t already know. I found most of the sequence of events predictable and one part I didn’t predict simply annoyed me. I definitely liked the premise of this book and had high hopes for it. Unfortunately it didn’t work for me.

Don’t just take my word for it though. There are plenty of ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ reviews so I’d encourage you to check out some of those before deciding if this is the book for you or not.

Thank you to NetGalley and Harlequin – MIRA for the opportunity to read this book.

Rating: 3 out of 5.

Once Upon a Blurb

On their first date back in law school, Natalie and Will Clarke bonded over drinks, dinner and whether they could get away with murder. Now married, they’ll put the latter to the test when an unchecked danger in their community places their son in jeopardy. Working as a criminal defense attorney, Nat refuses to rely on the broken legal system to keep her family safe. She knows that if you want justice … you have to get it yourself.

Shocked to discover Nat’s taken matters into her own hands, Will has no choice but to dirty his, also. His family is in way too deep to back down now. He’s just not sure he recognises the woman he married. Nat’s always been fiercely protective, but never this ruthless or calculating. With the police poking holes in their airtight plan, what will be the first to fall apart: their scandalous secret – or their marriage?

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Girls of Paper and Fire – Natasha Ngan

READ. THIS. BOOK. PLEASE.

I have so many library books at the moment that I’ve been desperate to read for so long and of course too many were due at the same time. I almost sent this book back unread and I’m so glad I didn’t! It turns out it’s one of my favourite reads of the year!

“When the world denies you choices, you make your own.”

Lei’s nightmares are haunted by the raid on her village seven years ago that saw her mother ripped from her life. This time the soldiers have come for Lei, a Paper caste girl with golden eyes. She is to undergo training as one of the Demon King’s Paper Girls, which is supposed to be an honour yet feels anything but.

I think of the Paper Girls who came before me. The dreams of theirs that might have died within these very walls.

The extravagance of palace life is unlike anything Lei has ever experienced with her loving family, who lead humble lives running a herb shop in their remote village. In the palace she is surrounded by exquisite gardens and is dressed by her own personal maid in stunning clothes with magic weaved through them! 😍 The glamour is only on the surface though, as Paper Girls are essentially the Demon King’s concubines, and this life feels like a prison to Lei.

There’s so much I loved about this book, from the gorgeous descriptions of the different castes of Ikhar and their history and spirituality to the strength of the women who inhabit it. There’s action, betrayal, loyalty, friendship, a romance that didn’t make me want to vomit and an underlying hope despite brutality.

“They can take and steal and break all they want, but there is one thing they have no control over. Our emotions,” she says at my nonplussed look. “Our feelings. Our thoughts. None of them will ever be able to control the way we feel. Our minds and hearts are our own. That is our power, Nine. Never forget it.”

I absolutely adore the cover image and Jeff Miller’s jacket design is simply breathtaking! I especially loved the Birth-blessing pendant on the front of the hardcover book.

I loved learning about the world our characters inhabit and I became immersed in Ikhara. I believed in this world and yearned to learn more about its history, its magic, its spiritual beliefs and its customs. I don’t think Ikhara would have come alive for me if not for the gorgeous descriptions that made me want to sigh with the satisfaction they gave me. I highlighted so many sentences that made me want to follow Natasha Ngan around and have her describe to me whatever she sees. Two of my favourites were about time and winter:

But time has a way of folding itself, like a map, distances and journeys and hours and minutes tucked neatly away to leave just the realness of the before and the now, as close as hands pressed on either side of a rice-paper door.

Colors drain from the gardens like calligraphy paints being washed away.

Wren was the standout character for me but I was surprised to discover that I also had a soft spot for acerbic Blue, despite and maybe because of all of the reasons that I probably should have loved to hate her. Lill was a sweetheart but I didn’t get much of a sense of her personality. Similarly the twins didn’t appear to have distinct personalities and unfortunately they became interchangeable for me. There were also a few characters that didn’t have a great deal of page time but I wanted to know more, who I felt more of a connection with than most of the Paper Girls: Zelle, Kenzo and Merrin.

I don’t want an easy life. I want a meaningful one.

I want so much to give this book 5 stars for the world the author transported me to alone but there’s something that’s niggling at me. This may be a problem with me, not the book, but sometimes I felt a disconnect between what I thought I should be feeling and what I was actually feeling. Without getting too spoilery, events would happen that would affect one or more of the Paper Girls and I’d think I should be crying, full of rage, joy, something … but wasn’t. I was always interested in knowing what was going to happen next but my emotions didn’t fire up. I was more upset by Lei’s dog getting skewered than anything that happened to the girls. I’m hoping a reread will clear this up for me.

What I Need Included in the Sequel/s

More Shamans – I loved the information about the shamans in this book but need more! I need to know more about their history, all of the cool stuff they can do, how they’re trained, and I need to get to know one personally.

Lei’s Eyes – There’s more than meets the eye here (sorry, I had to! 👀). I need their backstory!

More Mythology – There’s no such thing as too much mythology as far as I’m concerned. An entire history book about Ikhara? Sign me up!

Also, I need the next book in the series sometime soon. Tomorrow is good for me. 😜

We might be Paper Girls, easily torn and written upon. The very title we’re given suggests that we are blank, waiting to be filled. But what the Demon King and his court do not understand is that paper is flammable.

And there is a fire catching among us.

P.S. I tried to buy a signed copy of this book from Barnes & Noble but they can’t ship it to Australia! I’m sure I’ll get over this at some point but not for a while. 😢

Rating: 4.5 out of 5.

Once Upon a Blurb

Each year, eight beautiful girls are chosen as Paper Girls to serve the king. It’s the highest honour they could hope for … and the most demeaning. This year, there’s a ninth. And instead of paper, she’s made of fire.

In this richly developed fantasy, Lei is a member of the Paper caste, the lowest and most persecuted class of people in Ikhara. She lives in a remote village with her father, where the decade-old trauma of watching her mother snatched by royal guards for an unknown fate still haunts her. Now, the guards are back and this time it’s Lei they’re after – the girl with the golden eyes whose rumoured beauty has piqued the king’s interest.

Over weeks of training in the opulent but oppressive palace, Lei and eight other girls learns the skills and charm that befit a king’s consort. There, she does the unthinkable – she falls in love. Her forbidden romance becomes enmeshed with an explosive plot that threatens her world’s entire way of life. Lei, still the wide-eyed country girl at heart, must decide how far she’s willing to go for justice and revenge.

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