Author: Schizanthus Nerd

8 Souls – Rachel Rust

Spoilers Ahead!

Seventeen year old Chessie dreams about the old farmhouse every night. She learned to keep her mouth shut about her dream house when she was young; it turns out that telling people you have a recurring dream about a house where eight people were murdered can land you in a psychiatrist’s office.

Chessie is spending the summer with her grandparents in Villisca, Iowa. They live directly across from the Axe Murder House, the farmhouse in Chessie’s dreams.

Villisca is known for murder. But other than that, it’s a cute town.

The 1912 murders remain unsolved and haunt this small community. The townspeople are also on edge because some young girls have recently been reported missing. Soon after Chessie arrives in town she hears someone calling her name and asking for help, which wouldn’t be as scary if she wasn’t alone in her bedroom at the time.

During the summer Chessie gets to know David, who’s cute but has a secret, and Mateo, a wannabe Ghostbuster. Chessie hopes they will be able to help her discover out what her connection is to the farmhouse and whether there’s any connection between the 1912 murders and the girls that are currently missing.

“People are afraid of the devil when they really should be afraid of each other.”

I got into this book straight away and enjoyed trying to figure out what Chessie’s connection to the Axe Murder House was and the secret David was hiding. If I were Chessie I would have gone straight to the library to check out what the historical records could tell me about the 1912 murders but that could have taken some of the fun out of this read.

After the first round of reveals I was able to figure out where the book was heading, so wasn’t surprised by any of the subsequent reveals. While I can find predictable elements annoying in some books I didn’t have a problem with them here as it meant what I’d hoped would happen did.

I would have liked to have gotten to know Chessie’s grandparents more but was satisfied with learning the backstories of other characters. There wasn’t as much banter as I’m used to in books that have a romantic component but, given the characters are dealing with unsolved murders from the past and missing children, it wouldn’t have been overly appropriate.

Since it happens so infrequently in books, I’m always thrilled when book characters actually use the bathroom, so this book won realism points from me each time Chessie took a bathroom break.

I wasn’t that keen on how the final showdown was set up. Surely if there’s a guy standing in the middle of the road and their car is parked on the shoulder, you could drive around them or through them. They had a gun so to make the characters stop the car so the subsequent confrontation could happen didn’t work for me. How was David able to drive anyway since he’d just woken up from being drugged?

Thank you to NetGalley and Entangled Teen, an imprint of Entangled Publishing, LLC, for the opportunity to read this book. I’m interested in reading more books by this author.

Rating: 4 out of 5.

Once Upon a Blurb

All her life, seventeen-year-old Chessie has had recurring dreams about a little white farmhouse. Quaint? Not quite. The house is the site of the unsolved murders of Villisca, Iowa, where eight people were slaughtered in 1912. With her parents on the verge of divorce, Chessie is stuck spending the summer with her grandparents in Villisca – right across the street from the axe murder house. 

She’s soon hearing voices calling out for help and begins unraveling a link between herself and the town’s bloody history. And when she falls for a cute boy harboring a big secret, the pieces fall into place as she at last discovers the truth of Villisca’s gruesome past …

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Speak – Laurie Halse Anderson

This book … I’ve wanted to read it for so many years but I always feared I’d Humpty Dumpty if I read it. I didn’t trust that I’d be able to reassemble the pieces if I shattered. When I read SHOUT I knew it was time to Speak but it still took me another couple of months to gather my courage to begin Melinda’s story. The verdict? It was everything I wanted it to be and more!

Now I’m preparing to ask Doc if I can borrow his Delorean so I can give this book to me when I was Melinda’s age, before it was published. I ached for a book like this in high school but never found one. It would have been life changing. I know this book has already touched countless lives before mine but I’m excited about the lives it will continue to change.

Sometimes I think high school is one long hazing activity: if you are tough enough to survive this, they’ll let you become an adult. I hope it’s worth it.

High school is already hard enough when you have friends. As an outcast Melinda’s experience is excruciating and I honestly don’t know how she made it through that first year as well as she did. Her growth, despite her trauma, despite the depression, despite all of the adults that could and should have been supporting her but didn’t, is remarkable.

The whole point of not talking about it, of silencing the memory, is to make it go away. It won’t. I’ll need brain surgery to cut it out of my head.

Melinda’s voice throughout this book is so authentic. Trying to navigate her way through the aftermath of her sexual assault with no support contributed greatly to her inability to speak. I loved her sarcasm and dry humour; being the outcast she was able to observe clearly the absurdity of many aspects of the high school experience.

I wanted to sit quietly with Melinda until she was ready to break her silence, just so she knew she wasn’t alone. I wanted to get to know Ivy more. I wanted to listen to David talk about whatever was on his mind each day. I imagined flaming meteors obliterating Heather’s perfectly coordinated wardrobe but appreciated her written outcome better. I wanted to drop kick Rachel into another dimension, preferably one with giant hornets staring her down.

I wanted to shake most of the adults in Melinda’s life awake, especially her emotionally neglectful parents but also every school staff member who saw and chose to do nothing. I constantly wanted to high five Mr Freeman, the only safe adult I saw in Melinda’s life, the only one who truly saw her and reached out. Mr Freeman is responsible for what’s currently my favourite sentence:

“When people don’t express themselves, they die one piece at a time.”

While I’d obviously prefer to live in a world where a book like this wasn’t needed, I love that I live in a world where survivors of sexual assault are beginning to have voices. We have a long, long way to go but books like this are catalysts for change. I know Speak is a life changing book; I don’t think I’m overstating it when I say it’s also a life saving one. Knowing you are not alone in your experience is powerful! I need all the stars that have ever existed for this book!

April is Sexual Assault Awareness and Prevention Month. If you are experiencing sexual assault or have in the past, please know that you are not alone. The full responsibility lies with the perpetrator; you are not to blame. There is help available and you are worthy of receiving it.

In America, the National Sexual Assault Hotline offers confidential, anonymous support to survivors 24/7/365. It’s never too late to get help. 800.656.HOPE or https://hotline.rainn.org/online.

If you live outside America and don’t know who to contact in your country, a good place to start is http://www.hotpeachpages.net.

Rating: 5 out of 5.

Once Upon a Blurb

The first ten lies they tell you in high school.

“Speak up for yourself – we want to know what you have to say.” 

From the first moment of her freshman year at Merryweather High, Melinda knows this is a big fat lie, part of the nonsense of high school. She is friendless, outcast, because she busted an end-of-summer party by calling the cops, so now nobody will talk to her, let alone listen to her. As time passes, she becomes increasingly isolated and practically stops talking altogether. Only her art class offers any solace, and it is through her work on an art project that she is finally able to face what really happened at that terrible party: she was raped by an upperclassman, a guy who still attends Merryweather and is still a threat to her. Her healing process has just begun when she has another violent encounter with him. But this time Melinda fights back, refuses to be silent, and thereby achieves a measure of vindication. 

In Laurie Halse Anderson’s powerful novel, an utterly believable heroine with a bitterly ironic voice delivers a blow to the hypocritical world of high school. She speaks for many a disenfranchised teenager while demonstrating the importance of speaking up for oneself.

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Phoebe and Her Unicorn #9: Unicorn Bowling – Dana Simpson

Last time we saw them, Phoebe, Sue (Phoebe’s friend from camp), Max (Phoebe’s adorably nerdy friend) and their respective magical friends (Marigold, Ringo and Voltina) plus Marigold’s sister, Florence, were heading home from drama camp. I’ve loved the two graphic novels.

Now we’re back for another collection.

I learned that unicorn hiccups sparkle (of course they do!) and Marigold discovered the marvel that is bubble wrap. Phoebe’s father partook in some nostalgia and in the process made me feel really old because I remember those days too! Claustrophoebea and Pointyhead were back!

Phoebe doesn’t think she’s being assigned enough homework so Marigold provides some for her. Phoebe also nerds out about getting to make a diorama for school.

Phoebe and Marigold get somewhat serious when they discuss the meaning of life and Marigold regales Phoebe with multiple unicorn legends, some more recent than others. Dakota uses her vlog to bully Phoebe.

Marigold invites Phoebe to unicorn camp. Phoebe’s friend from camp, Sue, also attends but Ringo the lake monster is absent. While I was glad Max had a birthday party in this collection, I was sad his only guests appeared to be Phoebe and Marigold. Where was Voltina? She seems to only exist in the graphic novels. Also absent were the goblins who hang out with Dakota and some of Dakota’s personality.

Thank you to NetGalley and Andrews McMeel Publishing for the opportunity to read this collection.

Rating: 3.5 out of 5.

Once Upon a Blurb

A unicorn in bowling shoes is quite a STRIKE-ing sight. But for nine-year-old Phoebe Howell, it’s just another fun outing with her best friend, the illustrious unicorn Marigold Heavenly Nostrils. This unique and magical friendship is at the heart of the ninth Phoebe and Her Unicorn collection, which includes adventures such as writing original songs, publishing rival news websites, and making a summer visit to the exclusive Camp Shimmerhorn.

Life with a unicorn BFF is not without its challenges, however, and whether it’s homework, friction with classmates, or talent show jitters, Unicorn Bowling is full of amusing, heartwarming reminders that when the going gets tough, the tough get sparkling.

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Girls with Sharp Sticks – Suzanne Young

Okay, so this is going to be more of a warning than a review but I’m hoping it will give you a different reading experience than the one I had. The book itself is amazing and I cannot wait for the sequel. However, I’d seen marketing that compared this book to very well known TV series, a movie and a book, and armed with those names I was easily able to predict the most important spoilers in this book before I began reading. So, my warning is this:

Stay well away from marketing, reviews that may tell you too much and even the book’s copyright page if you don’t want your read to be tainted by spoilers.

I loved it despite my foreknowledge, but I’ll never know if I would have picked up on enough clues to figure out any of the reveals for myself or not, and that dulled some of the shine for me. I don’t want that to happen to you.

Rating: 5 out of 5.

Once Upon a Blurb

The Girls of Innovations Academy are beautiful and well-behaved – it says so on their report cards. Under the watchful gaze of their Guardians, the all-girl boarding school offers an array of studies and activities, from “Growing a Beautiful and Prosperous Garden” to “Art Appreciation” and “Interior Design.” The girls learn to be the best society has to offer. Absent is the difficult math coursework, or the unnecessary sciences or current events. They are obedient young ladies, free from arrogance or defiance. Until Mena starts to realize that their carefully controlled existence may not be quite as it appears.

As Mena and her friends begin to uncover the dark secrets of what’s actually happening there – and who they really are – the girls of Innovations will find out what they are truly capable of. Because some of the prettiest flowers have the sharpest thorns.

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Phoebe and Her Unicorn #8: Phoebe and Her Unicorn in Unicorn Theater – Dana Simpson

Spoilers Ahead!

Voltina is back!!! I adored her when she was introduced in Phoebe and Her Unicorn in the Magic Storm because she’s a dragon and even more importantly, my favourite nerd, Max, finally had his very own friend/magical creature.

This is Phoebe and Marigold’s second graphic novel and this time they’re going to summer camp. I was glad they didn’t wind up at music camp again because that’s where they’ve always gone. This time they’re going to drama camp and Marigold’s sister, Florence Unfortunate Nostrils, is coming too. Interestingly, Florence’s nostrils aren’t as unfortunate as they have been previously.

Phoebe is initially jealous of the time the two unicorn sisters are spending together. Thankfully Sue and Max are also there, along with Ringo the lake monster and Voltina! Max is so adorably awkward and nerdy

and each time Sue says something weird I remember why I want her to star in her own graphic novel.

Unicorn transport is just as wonderful as I hoped it would be. With drama on and off the stage and some commentary about friendships and sisters, this is a lot of fun and a nice return to the graphic novel format. I’m crossing my fingers that Voltina makes her way into the collections as well as the graphic novels.

Rating: 4 out of 5.

Once Upon a Blurb

Summer is here, and Phoebe and Marigold are headed to drama camp. At Camp Thespis, Phoebe and her friends have their work cut out for them: writing, producing, and acting in an entirely original play! Phoebe’s expecting some quality time with her best friend, but in a surprise twist, Marigold has invited her sister, Florence Unfortunate Nostrils! The newest Phoebe and Her Unicorn graphic novel is a sparkling tale of sisterhood and summer fun, as well as a reminder that sometimes it takes a bit of drama to rediscover true friendship.

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Kathy Ryan #3: Inside the Asylum – Mary SanGiovanni

What happens when your imaginary friends are no longer satisfied living in the world you created? What if they want to live in yours instead?

When Kathy Ryan interviews a patient at Connecticut-Newlyn Hospital for the Criminally Insane she learns about Henry’s friends. The staff dismiss them as hallucinations but Kathy thinks otherwise.

Henry only survived the horrific abuse of his childhood with the help of Maisie, Orrin, Edgar and the Others. Henry’s friends’ lives started in his imagination and they lived in Ayteilu, the world he created. Unlike your normal garden variety imaginary friends, Henry’s have seriously levelled up.

They’re tulpas, “sentient and more or less autonomous beings brought about by the use of the mind.” If, like me, you haven’t heard of these before, Google can tell you all about them. While I found the entire phenomenon fascinating and Mary SanGiovanni takes this concept much further than I hope is ever possible, I cannot stress this enough: Do NOT try this at home!!!

Kathy’s investigation forces her to interact with her brother, Toby, another Connecticut-Newlyn patient. Awkward! And suitably creepy. I was eager to learn more about Kathy’s history after reading my first Kathy Ryan book, Behind the Door, and my wish was certainly granted in this book. I can handle all the book blood spatter and gore an author throws at me, but this part of the story was genuinely horrifying. It answered my questions from the previous book and was so well done. I hesitate to say that I loved it but it felt right, given what I already knew of Kathy, and it caused a visceral reaction in me.

While I had so much fun reading about Kathy’s previous investigation in Zarepath, this investigation blew me away. I loved the setting, the characters (especially Ernie), the action, the interaction between characters and the imaginative ways Henry’s friends interact with our world.

You do not want to be cast as a character in one of Mary SanGiovanni’s novels. If you actually make it out of the book alive (chances are you won’t and your death will be suitably gruesome) you will not be unchanged by the experience. Nightmares, severe trauma and a massive therapy bill will be amongst your prizes for surviving.

If you are squeamish, this book is not for you. If, however, you love the kind of horror that spills enough blood to make The Shining’s river feel more like a trickle and you want to jump up and down with perverse glee when a horror story character’s insides become their outsides, then this is definitely right up your alley. If you’re not convinced yet, you will also come face to (sort of) face with such awesomeness as a rampaging vending machine and flying lawn mowers!

While this story ends in a way that could be a satisfying conclusion to the series I really hope there’s more to come. Thank you so much to NetGalley and Lyrical Underground, an imprint of Kensington Books, for the opportunity to read this book. Five blood soaked stars from me!

Rating: 5 out of 5.

Once Upon a Blurb

Kathy has been hired to assess the threat of patient Henry Banks, an inmate at the Connecticut-Newlyn Hospital for the Criminally Insane, the same hospital where her brother is housed. Her employers believe that Henry has the ability to open doors to other dimensions with his mind-making him one of the most dangerous men in modern history. Because unbeknownst to Kathy, her clients are affiliated with certain government organizations that investigate people like Henry-and the potential to weaponise such abilities.

What Kathy comes to understand in interviewing Henry, and in her unavoidable run-ins with her brother, is that Henry can indeed use his mind to create “Tulpas”-worlds, people, and creatures so vivid they come to actual life. But now they want life outside of Henry. And they’ll stop at nothing to complete their emancipation. It’s up to Kathy-with her brother’s help-to stop them, and if possible, to save Henry before the Tulpas take him over-and everything else around him.

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The Prince and the Dressmaker – Jen Wang

It felt like my heart grew a few sizes while I was reading this graphic novel. When the dress she makes for Lady Sophia causes a stir at the Royal Spring Ball, Frances is offered a position as a personal seamstress for an unknown client. Her new client turns out to be Crown Prince Sebastian of Belgium, who is trying to keep a secret that he fears will cause his father to disown him.

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During the day Prince Sebastian has to meet potential brides with his parents but in the evenings Lady Crystallia is wowing Paris’ fashion world with Frances’ innovative dress designs. Caught between trying to be the Prince his parents, especially his father, expect and who he truly is, Sebastian finds unconditional acceptance and a growing friendship with Frances.

I adored Sebastian immediately. Frances won my heart when she accepted Sebastian without hesitation and she kept winning me over with gems like, “He wasn’t confused about himself. The thing that ruined Sebastian was how afraid he was of what you’d think of him.”

This is such a gorgeous story of being true to yourself and of acceptance. The illustrations are brilliant and the dresses are stunning. I loved the characters, the friendship, the love story and the resolution. And everything else, except the outing. I can’t believe it’s taken me so long to read this for the first time. It deserves all the stars!

Rating: 5 out of 5.

Once Upon a Blurb

Paris, at the dawn of the modern age:

Prince Sebastian is looking for a bride – or rather, his parents are looking for one for him. Sebastian is too busy hiding his secret life from everyone. At night he puts on daring dresses and takes Paris by storm as the fabulous Lady Crystallia – the hottest fashion icon in the world capital of fashion!

Sebastian’s secret weapon (and best friend) is the brilliant dressmaker Frances – one of only two people who know the truth: sometimes this boy wears dresses. But Frances dreams of greatness, and being someone’s secret weapon means being a secret. Forever. How long can Frances defer her dreams to protect a friend? Jen Wang weaves an exuberantly romantic tale of identity, young love, art, and family. A fairy tale for any age, The Prince and the Dressmaker will steal your heart.

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Become the Force: 9 Lessons on Living as a Master Jedi – Daniel M. Jones

Remember when tens of thousands of people had census takers scratching their heads in 2001 by listing their religion as ‘Jedi’ or ‘Jedi Knight’? Well, in 2007, Daniel M. Jones from Wales (who was 21 at the time) founded the Church of Jediism.

I was really keen to read this book, thinking it would be the perfect Star Wars Day read. As this book claims to be the “first official book of scripture for the Church of Jediism” I was looking forward to learning how its tenets were based on specific Star Wars scenes and hopefully some Yoda wisdom. I wasn’t expecting a book of scripture to be so heavy handed in the creator’s memoir department.

Theresa Cheung has relied heavily on transcribed interviews with Daniel M. Jones. I was leery when the Theresa started telling me about her almost two decades as a bestselling author and then proceeded to include a reference from Wikipedia before the first chapter, but figured I’d keep going and hope for the best. Unfortunately this is definitely not the Star Wars Day book for me.

The nine Jediist Master lessons are:

1. The intelligence of a student

Jediism’s only prerequisite, but here ‘intelligence’ essentially means curiosity and a willingness to learn. The first sentence of the Jediist Prayer for Intelligence quotes Max Ehrmann’s Desiderata – “no less than the trees and the stars.” “The universe is as it should be” sounded suspiciously similar to this quote from Desiderata: “no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.” Then, further along, “With all its confusions, routine and broken dreams, the universe is a wondrous place.” sounds eerily like this from Desiderata: “With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world.”

2. Personal thought control

In a nutshell, your thoughts create your reality. This chapter’s Jediist Prayer for Awareness steals from the serenity prayer. The Jediist version begins, “May the Force grant me the serenity to observe my thoughts. May the Force grant me the courage to understand my thoughts and the wisdom to know the difference”.

3. Matters of love, life and death

This chapter tells you that “when you die nobody remembers what you said or did but they will remember how you made them feel.” At what point do we call it ‘plagiarism’ and move on?! At least this chapter’s Jediist Prayer for Eternal Love acknowledges Mary Elizabeth Frye’s Do Not Stand at My Grave and Weep.

4. The Force theory

“Jediism teaches us that we are spiritual beings having a human experience, not human beings having a spiritual experience.” Hey there, French philosopher, Pierre Teilhard de Chardin. You’re in here too!

5. Emotional control and anger management

In which we learn of Daniel’s feelings of humiliation and victimisation at being told he had to remove his hood in a grocery store. I started skimming the book at this point because looking for quotes I already knew got boring.

6. Self-defence and martial arts

Or then again … “The sparrow never lands where the tiger roams.” This is said to be a quote by Daniel M. Jones. He may have said it but he wasn’t the first.

7. Counselling, stress management and control

This chapter has some interesting insights into Daniel’s experience with Asperger’s.

8. Healthy living and material well-being

Healthy food, moderation, balance, “Your body is a temple”, “Pray, eat, love”.

9. Peaceful communication and interaction with diplomacy

Humility, a sense of humour, inner peace, etc.

While I hope there are potential readers who’ll find a lot to love in this book, I think it’s pretty obvious at this point that I’m not one of them. My high hopes for insight dissolved into frustration with this strange blend of memoir and recycled bits and pieces from various religions and pop psychology.

Whenever I start a new book I go into it expecting to love it and look forward to telling anyone who will listen to me all of the reasons why they must stop whatever they’re doing and start reading it immediately. It breaks my heart when I can’t do that and because I was really looking forward to this one I hate this feeling even more.

Thank you to NetGalley and Watkins Publishing for the opportunity to read this book.

Once Upon a Blurb

Daniel M Jones founded the Church of Jediism in 2007. It now has over 500,000 members around the world. This is the book his fans have been waiting for. In it, Daniel outlines the Jedi perspective and provides practical tools for anyone interested in gaining a deeper understanding of how to use the force in everyday life.

The Force is a metaphor for the universal life energy that connects us all. It can be both light and dark, good and bad. Now more than ever it is our responsibility to overcome the dark side. This book does not aim to convert but to inspire its readers to live a life of meaning and purpose according to the universal spiritual teachings from ‘The Way of the Jedi.’ 

Become the Force covers:

  • Daniel’s own fascinating spiritual journey and how overcoming personal struggles has awakened him to his purpose
  • How Jedi teachings can empower mind, body, heart and spirit
  • A comprehensive toolkit that will allow anyone to genuinely embrace ‘the way of the Jedi’
  • Compelling reasons why the spiritual teachings of Jediism are relevant today
  • A comprehensive explanation of Jediism as a spiritual movement (a universal desire for self-awareness, spiritual awakening, peace, love and harmony), rather than a religion.
  • Shows that it’s plausible that the Jedi minded among us today might usher in a new spirituality and shift in global consciousness towards peace and harmony that is more powerful than any we can possibly imagine.
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The Mermaid Who Couldn’t – Ali Redford

Illustrations – Kara Simpson

Mariana is a sad and scared young mermaid who is all alone, having been abandoned by her mother. She can barely swim and thinks that she’s useless.

Eventually Mariana finds safety with Muriel, a turtle who looks after her. Muriel’s family teach Mariana to swim. Mariana learns what love, happiness and belonging feel like, and as she grows in confidence she finds her voice.

This book highlights how important safe, loving relationships are to self esteem. While this is relevant to all children, I expect that those who have been neglected or living with foster carers will find it especially relatable.

Kara Simpson’s illustrations clearly show how Mariana is feeling throughout the story, although some of the pages are quite dark and potentially scary for young children. I wasn’t a fan of the multiple fonts used in the book, especially the font used for the songs; I expect it would be particularly difficult for early readers to decipher.

Thank you to NetGalley and Jessica Kingsley Publishers for the opportunity to read this book.

Rating: 3 out of 5.

Once Upon a Blurb

Mariana the Mermaid is not like the other mermaids. Abandoned by a careless mother on the ocean floor, she has never laughed or played, and can barely even swim. She feels useless. 

Then she meets Muriel the Turtle, who welcomes her into her family and teaches her to sing her own mighty song, making her feel confident and ready to join in with the other mermaids.

Written for children aged 4+, this picture book uses a simple metaphor to show how children who have experienced neglect or who lack confidence can learn to find a sense of self-worth. It will help children explore their feelings and encourage communication.

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We Are Okay – Nina LaCour

Marin was raised by her Gramps; her mother died before she was three and she never knew her father. Now she’s alone in her dorm room in New York, the only student on campus during winter break, and her best friend Mabel is coming to visit for three days. Mabel, who she hasn’t spoken to since everything happened.

The space between us is worse than our awkwardness, worse than not knowing what she’s thinking during our long stretches of silence.

Marin hasn’t spoken to anyone she knew in California since she left. This is a story about the ghosts that haunt us, the losses that change us and loneliness that is all consuming.

I wonder if there’s a secret current that connects people who have lost something. Not in the way that everyone loses something, but in the way that undoes your life, undoes your self, so that when you look at your face it isn’t yours anymore.

I only knew what this book’s blurb told me when I began reading and I highly recommend allowing the story to unfold as you go rather than seeking information that may spoil the experience. It’s written beautifully and besides the amazing cover, the artwork inside the cover is absolutely perfect. It’s both heartbreaking and heartwarming so make sure you have tissues handy.

Rating: 4 out of 5.

Once Upon a Blurb

You go through life thinking there’s so much you need …

Until you leave with only your phone, your wallet, and a picture of your mother.

Marin hasn’t spoken to anyone from her old life since the day she left everything behind. No one knows the truth about those final weeks. Not even her best friend, Mabel. But even thousands of miles away from the California coast, at college in New York, Marin still feels the pull of the life and tragedy she’s tried to outrun. Now, months later, alone in an emptied dorm for winter break, Marin waits. Mabel is coming to visit, and Marin will be forced to face everything that’s been left unsaid and finally confront the loneliness that has made a home in her heart.

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