Norman: The Doll That Needed to Be Locked Away – Stephen Lancaster

If there’s somethin’ strange

In your neighbourhood

Who ya gonna call? 👻

So, you’re no doubt well acquainted with Chucky and Annabelle, but have you heard of Norman (the doll, not the shower scene Psycho 🔪🚿)? I hadn’t but I love all of that ooky spooky stuff so thought that this was the book for me. After all, it’s written by a man who’s been a paranormal researcher for 20 years and the front cover told me it’s a true story. ‘Sign me up,’ I thought.

I’m one of those people that will watch an episode of The X Files, any episode, and believe that whatever’s happening on screen has either already happened, is possible or at the very least plausible. So, fairly high on the gullibility scale. I tend to find the supernatural fascinating. I’m one of those 👽 I Want to Believe 🛸 types but if something appropriately ooky spooky was ever proven I am fairly certain I’d be happy to watch the movie rather than be in the room with it. So, gullible and a scaredy-cat.

With that in mind I decided to begin reading this book while the sun was shining brightly outside and the birds were chirping happily. I needn’t have bothered. I could have read this at midnight during a full moon on Friday, 13th with a raging lightning storm outside and wind rattling the windows and I still would have been okay with reading this in the dark.

The title says it all. Norman: The Doll That Needed to Be Locked Away. So where was it kept? On the headboard of the bed where the author and his girlfriend sleep, along with an assortment of other allegedly haunted dolls and toys. Huh???

Some will believe this story is true and others will think it’s baloney. If it is true then I’m wondering why child and animal protection agencies haven’t been involved. It’s fine if you want to make potentially reckless decisions for yourself as an adult but when those decisions affect minors (the 15 year old daughter of the author’s girlfriend as well as her son’s 8 and 10 year old kids) and animals (four inside dogs, one inside cat and about half a dozen outside cats), then as far as I can tell that’s reportable, not just poor judgement.

It you don’t believe in this type of Paranormal Activity and read this as fiction, then I expect you will wonder why the characters do a lot of the things they do, such as (and these are just some of the questions I want to ask the author personally):

  • With all of this stuff going on that you attribute to Norman then why does he remain in the master bedroom for most of the book? That’s where you sleep, people!
  • As you wonder about Norman’s questionable behaviour and the fact that all of the other haunted bits and bobs have witnessed this and may have similar ideas now, do you also wonder if maybe now would be a good time to remove them from your bedroom?
  • Did anyone ever consider trying to contact the woman that had Norman before these people or at least someone who knows her to find out some handy information about him and his history?
  • Is there no other place for you to conduct your research into paranormal creepy dolls other than your bedroom? Again, you sleep there, people!
  • If you have seen a single horror movie you know your animals are in danger yet you still have them in the house with you and the creepy doll, even though they are scared stiff of said creepy doll.
  • If you don’t want to burn or bury the doll because of the human spirit or whatever that resides in it, then why do you not have any qualms trying to sell the thing on eBay (or whatever anonymous site you listed him on) three times?
  • If you truly believe that there is a child spirit inside this doll then wouldn’t locking him in a room with no human interaction and cartoons playing constantly on the television annoy him slightly after a while? Also, why is he still in your house? In the room next to where you sleep?!
  • You mention how difficult it is to sleep. Duh! 🤦‍♀️
  • If the 15 year old’s door closes all by itself, why does she sleep in there immediately after you all review the footage of the door closing. All. By. Itself.

If you believe this is a true story, then I imagine you would question these things even more.

The photos that are included to support the author’s claims unfortunately had the opposite effect with me. For example, there are two photos showing a significant change in temperature near Norman that was reported to have happened a minute apart. Yet there’s no time stamp on the photos and even if there was the author makes mention of their “top-notch video editing software” so it would be difficult to know with certainty if they were real or fake anyway.

There were many typos in the ARC that will hopefully be corrected prior to publication. If they’re fixed, then the funniest ones you missed out on are:

  • “Hannah continued to stay with her bother”. I’m an only child but I can imagine if Hannah had written that part brother becoming bother could’ve counted as a nice little Freudian slip.
  • “What happened next about gave me a heart.” Here’s one! ❤️ I loved this sentence so much but I’m not sure I was supposed to be laughing when the author was explaining how scary something was.

So, do I believe the events in this book are true? I wasn’t there so I can’t say for sure, but the way it was written raised more questions than it answered for me. Unless or until the author decides to make the video footage public I’m going to have to sit on the fence and hope it’s not too uncomfortable. I’d prefer to be standing firmly on one side or the other but there’s not enough evidence or debunking (I love that word!) to give you a confident answer. I know I still want to believe!

Thank you so much to NetGalley and Llewellyn Publications for the opportunity to read this book.

Rating: 3 out of 5.

Once Upon a Blurb

When paranormal investigator Stephen Lancaster brought home an old doll from an antique shop, he had no idea what bizarre and terrifying things were about to occur. From day one, Norman the doll raised hell. He caused sudden infestations of rats and spiders. He frightened dogs and put children in trances. He even moved on his own in video surveillance footage. And that was just the beginning.

Norman takes you on a thrilling journey into Stephen’s life with a doll that has held the spirit of an unborn child for over fifty years. A haunted doll that still lives in Stephen’s house, locked away in his own room to keep him from once again endangering the house and Stephen’s family.

Women of Resistance: Poems for a New Feminism – Danielle Barnhart & Iris Mahan (editors)

Dear Women of Resistance: Poems for a New Feminism,

It’s not you. It’s me. I tried to appreciate you for what you were but came to realise that you and I were simply not compatible. Not wanting to give up before giving us a chance I read you from cover to cover. I’ll admit that some sparks ignited here and there when I read passages such as:

“When a woman tells the truth, she is creating the possibility for more truth around her.”

Danielle Barnhart and Iris Mahan – from the Introduction

“From ashes rising, from rubble resounding, these bodies are borne and forged indestructible by the fires of demolition.”

from the Editor’s Note

Although I loved your cover and the diversity you showed in the awesome illustrations of women, I’m afraid we weren’t meant to be. You’re not what I’m looking for in poetry and that’s not your fault. You are what you are and I’m not asking you to change for me.

You remain true to yourself and there will be plenty of readers who will love you for it. The many voices within you have the potential to change perspectives and lives with their words. Reach out and take hold of those who will appreciate you for who you are.

Your anger, political in nature and righteous, made me want to draw away rather than step closer. I respect your anger. You’ve earned it and have the right to voice it. Maybe you can’t see the possibility of light in the distance and in the circumstances that’s understandable.

However I need to be able to see, even if only in my imagination, that there is a light shining brightly and that it is possible for us to reach. The promise of the light is what motivates me to keep moving and striving for change. For others having what’s wrong with this picture placed in front of them is what they need to search for the pieces that will make the wrong right.

Let’s face it; what we’ve done in the past hasn’t worked out so well for us. Regardless of how it happens our goal is the same. We’re just on different paths to the same destination. I have to believe we will make it to the light of our destination.

I wish you many inspired people who will take up the mantle with you and accompany you on your path towards change.

Thank you so much to NetGalley and OR Books for the opportunity to read this book.

Rating: 3 out of 5.

Once Upon a Blurb

A collection with a feminist ethos that cuts across race, gender identity, and sexuality.

Creative activists have reacted to the 2016 Presidential election in myriad ways. Editors Danielle Barnhart and Iris Mahan have drawn on their profound knowledge of the poetry scene to put together an extraordinary list of poets taking a feminist stance against the new authority. What began as an informal collaboration of like-minded poets – to be released as a hand bound chapbook – has grown into something far more substantial and ambitious: a fully fledged anthology of women’s resistance, with proceeds supporting Planned Parenthood and the Center for Reproductive Rights.

Representing the complexity and diversity of contemporary womanhood and bolstering the fight against racism, sexism, and violence, this collection unites powerful new writers, performers, and activists with established poets. Contributors include Elizabeth Acevedo, Sandra Beasley, Jericho Brown, Mahogany L. Browne, Danielle Chapman, Tyehimba Jess, Kimberly Johnson, Jacqueline Jones LaMon, Maureen N. McLane, Joyce Peseroff, Mary Ruefle, Trish Salah, Patricia Smith, Anne Waldman, and Rachel Zucker.

Written on the Body – Lexie Bean (editor)

You know those books that leave you without words? I don’t, which is why this review has been so hard to write. I’m one of those people that has so many opinions that I’ve got opinions about my own opinions. Seriously!

I finished reading Written on the Body: Letters from Trans and Non-Binary Survivors of Sexual Assault and Domestic Violence almost two weeks ago and the stories have been resonating within me ever since. I started this book thinking about my own experiences with sexual assault and domestic violence.

I wondered if I would have the courage to write a letter to one of my body parts. What body part would I choose? What would I want or need to say to it? Would I have the courage to write the letter anywhere but in my mind where no one could accidentally stumble across it? If I did manage to write that letter who would I trust to show it to? Regardless of your history I’d encourage you to think about those questions for yourself. It’s really quite a daunting prospect, isn’t it?

I thought about experiences shared with other sexual assault and domestic violence survivors over the years and how we’ve connected over shared thoughts and feelings, regardless of the legal terminology of what was perpetrated against us. The survivors I’ve had the opportunity to share with so far have been cis women and men, and they’re some of the bravest people I know.

I wondered if I could ever claim to understand what a trans or non-binary sexual assault or domestic violence survivor has experienced. While I’m fairly confident there’d be aspects of their story that I could relate to based on my own experiences, as a cis woman I can’t and won’t claim to understand what it’s like to be trans or non-binary. To be trans or non-binary in today’s society and then compound that with (in so many survivors) countless experiences of abuse by multiple perpetrators? I can’t even begin to imagine.

We need books like this one to open our eyes to the pain of those who’ve experienced the unthinkable and the incredible ability people have to overcome what was intended to destroy. While you can never really walk in someone else’s shoes, by reading this book you have the honour of being granted permission to truly see aspects of people that are usually hidden by façades.

You’ll likely feel practically everything in your emotional range while reading and due to the content I’d advise against reading it all at once. Different writing styles and content provide varied reading experiences throughout the book. Some letters were poetic. Others were visceral. There’s so much heartbreaking trauma content, yet there’s also so much strength and hope.

While considering the courage of the people who have contributed to this book, a quote from Brené Brown’s I Thought It Was Just Me came to mind. Brené explains eloquently what I cannot:

Courage is a heart word. The root of the word courage is cor – the Latin word for heart. In one of its earliest forms, the word courage meant “To speak one’s mind by telling all one’s heart.” Over time, this definition has changed, and today, we typically associate courage with heroic and brave deeds. But in my opinion, this definition fails to recognize the inner strength and level of commitment required for us to actually speak honestly and openly about who we are and about our experiences – good and bad.”

To the survivors who have contributed to this book, there are so many things I want to say to you, amongst which are … I hear you. I believe you. Thank you so much for sharing your story. I am in awe of your courage. You are extraordinary!

If I could choose just one really powerful quote from this book:

“What they didn’t know is that I’m trying to heal from what happened to me; I’m not trying to heal from who I am.”

Lexie Bean

How do you rate a book like this? I don’t think you can rate someone’s experience so instead I’m rating the courage, the heart, of the people who have not only looked within themselves to come up with words that reflect their experience but have also had the bravery to shine a light on them. To me that deserves nothing less than ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️.

Thank you so much to NetGalley and Jessica Kingsley Publishers for the opportunity to read this book. I feel honoured to have read it.

Rating: 5 out of 5.

Once Upon a Blurb

Written by and for trans and non-binary survivors of domestic violence and sexual assault, Written on the Body offers support, guidance and hope for those who struggle to find safety at home, in the body, and other unwelcoming places.

This collection of letters written to body parts weaves together narratives of gender, identity, and abuse. It is the coming together of those who have been fragmented and often met with disbelief. The book holds the concerns and truths that many trans people share while offering space for dialogue and reclamation.

Written with intelligence and intimacy, this book is for those who have found power in re-shaping their bodies, families and lives. 

Nancy Drew and the Hardy Boys: The Big Lie – Anthony Del Col

Illustrations – Werther Dell’edera

I’m not quite sure how this happened but I made it through my entire childhood without reading a single Nancy Drew or Hardy Boys book. I began to rectify this glaring hole in my bookish experience two years ago when my library bought the first few Nancy Drew books. I read and enjoyed the first two before getting distracted by another book. Here we are two years later and I’ve been distracted by so many other books that I haven’t read the third book or beyond. I’m yet to read a Hardy Boys book.

I was excited to have the opportunity to read Nancy Drew and the Hardy Boys: The Big Lie but when I tried to get into it the first time I was concerned that my lack of inside information about this trio would mean I would be lost before I started. I needn’t have worried. Finally giving up on getting to know Nancy better and the Hardy Boys at all first I dove into this graphic novel today and it was surprisingly awesome!

When I originally met book Nancy she came across to me as fitting a tad too well in the ’practically perfect in every way’ box but I loved her character in this noir graphic novel. This story shows Nancy, Frank and Joe with an edge that I’m guessing they never had in the novels.

In this story we find ourselves in postcard perfect Bayport. The Hardy Boys are suspects in their father’s murder and together with childhood friend and fellow mystery solver Nancy Drew, they need to find a way to clear their names and identify the real murderer. Along the way there are fist fights, suspicion thrown around some shady and not so shady characters, police brutality, flashbacks, meetings in the middle of the night and a good ol’ fashioned secret passageway left over from the Prohibition era.

I’m not sure how people who grew up loving Nancy, Frank and Joe will fare with what appears to be a hardening of their characters and a less innocent bunch of mystery solvers. I enjoyed the grittiness of the investigation and it probably says something about the feel of the graphic novel that in my head the male narrator/voice over had the same voice as Mickey Rourke’s Marv in Sin City.

I loved the front cover image, combining the trio and providing a hint of what’s to come. The illustrations matched the style of the story; dark, murky at times, with plenty of shadows to add to the ambience.

While one part of the mystery is solved in this graphic novel there’s an overarching mystery that remains to be solved another day, and it will definitely be a follow up I’ll be looking out for.

Thank you so much to NetGalley, Dynamite Entertainment and Diamond Book Distributors for the opportunity to read this graphic novel.

Rating: 4 out of 5.

Once Upon a Blurb

Volume collects issues 1-6.

A Nancy Drew and Hardy Boys mystery unlike any other you’ve ever read! When the teenage brothers Frank and Joe Hardy are accused of the murder of their father – a detective in the small resort town of Bayport – they must team up with Nancy Drew to prove their innocence (and find the real guilty party in the process) in a twisting noir tale, complete with double-crosses, deceit, and dames. 

Writer Anthony Del Col (Assassin’s Creed, Kill Shakespeare) and artist Werther Dell’Edera (Batman: Detective Comics, House of Mystery) bring the iconic teen detectives into the modern age, and redefine noir for a new generation of readers!

Kim Reaper Volume 1: Grim Beginnings – Sarah Graley

Kim Reaper Vol. 1: Grim Beginnings combines the first four issues of this fun new series. Becka and Kim are both studying fine arts at university but Becka’s crush on Kim, which consists of staring dreamily at the back of her head in class, is the sum total of their interaction. Becka’s friend Tyler finally convinces her to ask Kim out so after class she follows Kim, who disappears into a portal in the corridor.

Naturally this is a job for social media so Becka gets ready to capture this moment for internet posterity but then her phone and Becka both get sucked into the portal. It turns out that Becka’s crush has a part time job to help pay her way through uni and to fund her expensive goth clothes. Kim is … 🥁 … a reaper … of animals because she hasn’t been promoted to reaping people yet. 😊

What follows is a process of the two girls getting to know each other, visiting each other’s favourites places and a few other fairly typical getting to know you scenarios, like encountering a cat hoarding gym junkie energy drink addict hulk, zombies 🧟‍♀️ 🧟‍♂️, bed cookies, ghouls, and going to hell via the employee’s entrance.

I wasn’t quite sure what I expected from this collection. I was sucked in purely based on the wonderful cover image and its implied promise of purple tones throughout. I got the purples I was looking for along with a beautiful soft colour scheme. All of the illustrations were really sweet and I was impressed that both girls actually had curves.

The stories were interesting and the budding relationship between Becka and Kim was cute, with arguments along the way before their first kiss. Aww! 😘 While the language used came across as a bit too young for the characters, I was entertained for the entire ride. The strange occurrences in the stories took me deeper into this world instead of the jarring effect I sometimes experience. I had no problem believing anything was possible in this world and I look forward to finding out what’s next for this cute new couple.

Thank you so much to NetGalley and Oni Press for the opportunity to read this graphic novel.

Rating: 4 out of 5.

Once Upon a Blurb

Part-Time Grim Reaper. Full-Time Cutie!

Like most university students, Kim works a part-time job to make ends meet. Unlike most university students, Kim’s job is pretty cool: she’s a grim reaper, tasked with guiding souls into the afterlife.

Like most university students, Becka has a super intense crush. Unlike most university students, Becka’s crush is on a beautiful gothic angel that frequents the underworld. Of course, she doesn’t know that.

Unaware of the ghoulish drama she’s about to step into, Becka finally gathers up the courage to ask Kim on a date! But when she falls into a ghostly portal and interrupts Kim at her job, she sets off a chain of events that will pit the two of them against angry cat-dads, vengeful zombies, and perhaps even the underworld itself. But if they work together, they just might make it … and maybe even get a smooch in the bargain.

Creature Files: Sharks – L.J. Tracosas

🦈 SHARK!!! 🦈

I’ve been fascinated by sharks ever since I first watched Jaws when I was too young to know he couldn’t come through the shower head in pieces, magically reform and attack me while I showered (true story! 🤪), so naturally this is my type of non-fiction kid’s book. There’s enough information to maintain your interest but not so much that you get bored or succumb to information overload.

It’s the sort of book I would have used for school projects in primary school and would have enjoyed reading it just for fun as well. Besides all of the cool shark facts there are plenty of quality photographs of the various sharks and the layout is eye catching. While there’s plenty to look at on each page it doesn’t look overly cluttered.

Of the over 400 types of shark, Creature Files: Sharks provides information and photographs of twenty. I personally learned a lot while reading this book and the facts below are only a snippet of what you’ll discover.

🦈 Great White Shark – My mate Bruce from Jaws is probably the most famous Great White. These sharks can have up to 300 teeth!

🦈 Bull Shark – These are the sharks most likely to attack people and have been found with strange objects in their stomachs including licence plates!

🦈 Mako Shark – The Fastest Shark award 🏆 goes to the Mako.

🦈 Sand Tiger Shark – A sand tiger shark in a New York aquarium lived more than twice as long as the average wild sand tiger shark.

🦈 Nurse Shark – Nurse sharks live at the bottom of the ocean.

🦈 Cookiecutter Shark – The bellies of these sharks glow in the dark.

🦈 Tiger Shark – Tiger Sharks have the nickname “garbage can of the sea”.

🦈 Greenland Shark – The Slowest Shark award 🏆 goes to the Greenland Shark.

🦈 Spiny Dogfish – These sharks have been overfished and are in danger of extinction.

🦈 Lemon Shark – Their eyesight is poor so they need to rely on other senses to find food.

🦈 Sawshark – Their prey include shrimp, worms and shellfish.

🦈 Basking Shark – They form groups (schools) that can range from a couple up to 100 sharks, unlike most other sharks who are loners.

🦈 Frilled Shark – Rarely seen alive by humans, Frilled Sharks live at the bottom of the ocean.

🦈 Blue Shark – World travellers, these sharks swim about 1000 miles (1609 kilometres) each year.

🦈 Wobbegong Shark – They have flat bodies and are a type of carpet shark.

🦈 Leopard Shark – Groups of leopard sharks are social and are known to hang out with other types of sharks.

🦈 Great Hammerhead Shark – Their favourite food are stingrays but will also eat sharks, including other hammerheads.

🦈 Goblin Shark – Only 50 Goblin Sharks have been seen since they were first discovered in the late 1800’s.

🦈 Megamouth Shark – Megamouths are filter-feeders.

🦈 Whale Shark – The Largest Fish in the Sea award 🏆 goes to the Whale Shark.

Each shark file provides ‘fast facts’ which include the length of the shark and a picture showing the size comparison of that shark and a person (in feet and metres), how much the shark weighs (in pounds and kilograms) and a world map highlighting where it lives. I love that each shark file contains a Shark Bite that explains what that type of shark eats, what its teeth look like and for the majority of sharks an accompanying close up photo of its smile.

Included with the book are three replica teeth that kids can identify using their new knowledge and they can make a shark tooth necklace with the cord that’s also included. I would’ve loved wearing that necklace as a kid.

Thank you so much to NetGalley and Quarto Publishing Group – becker&mayer! kids for the opportunity to read this book.

Rating: 4 out of 5.

Once Upon a Blurb

Peek into the jaws of 20 of the ocean’s most dangerous predators with the next title in the Creature Files series! Creature Files: Sharks features photos, facts, and maps that provide up-close tours of some of the most terrifying sharks in the seas.

Did you know that a shark can grow over 20,000 new teeth in its lifetime? Or that some sharks will eat anything, from tiny fish to license plates from cars?

An incredible amount of information about sharks can be revealed by examining the teeth and jaws of the 20 jaw-snapping species covered here, in Creature Files: Sharks. From aggressive sharks like the great white to the truly weird ones like the goblin shark, this book is packed with awesome photos and fascinating facts about the ocean’s most amazing predators.   

Three specially molded replica teeth are included in the front cover, so you can feel the power of a shark’s real bite – and deduce which sharks the teeth come from using your new shark-bite expertise.

This book also includes a breakaway cord to make your own shark-tooth necklace! 

Wrapped Up Volume 1 – Dave Scheidt & Scoot McMahon

Wrapped Up Volume 1 features Milo, a twelve year old mummy who’s passionate about pizza and skateboarding. If you want to embarrass him just call him ‘Beetle’. Milo lives with his mummy Mum, archaeologist stepfather Henry and older stepsister Jill. For some reason poor mummy Dad lives with this blended family and no one seems to be weirded out by this. The next door neighbour is a wizard that has no name and is friends with Milo.

I’m not sure how this works but mummy Mum and mummy Dad wound up with a mummy son, even though, being mummies, they’ve been dead for quite a while. This is one of those graphic novels where you need to suspend your disbelief and just go with the flow. For example, in the introductory story a gorilla interrupts the family’s pizza dinner by crashing through the wall and then falls in love with Milo.

In Night of the Pizza Knight Milo wishes he could have pizza every day and No-Name-Wizard who appears perpetually drunk and/or stoned (potions are mentioned) grants Milo’s wish. They hadn’t counted on the arrival of the Pizza Knight or the ire of a cheesed off (sorry!) pizza delivery guy.

In Mummy vs Wild Jill asks Milo to meet her at the zoo. Amira, who we haven’t met until now, tags along with Milo. Once at the zoo the three split up and all of a sudden Milo is being chased and crawled over by zoo animals. This was my least favourite story in the collection.

In The Babysitter’s Flub Milo’s mummy Dad is going on a date and has arranged for Milo to have a witch in training babysitter that is younger than he is. This story features a chocolate milk cow and a psychotic pizza.

In The Ewww-y Decimal System Milo’s mummy Mum has a job for Milo at the library where she works. She needs him to locate the book that someone shelved after vomiting in it as the smell is (obviously) bothering the customers.

In Killer Cats and Mummy Wraps the wizard next door is certain that evil cats are trying to kill him.

In Keep It Down Milo can’t sleep because of the teenage jock frogs having a party in the back yard.

In Hungry, Hungry Kaiju it’s up to Milo to save the day when a ravenous monster causes havoc.

In Children of the Night Jill is having a picnic with her vampire friends one night in the cemetery (as you do). They realise they’ve been caught and have to bail, leaving their snacks behind 😢, but the person behind the torch light isn’t who they thought it was.

In Night of the Creepy Kewpie think Chucky but it’s a Kewpie doll instead and it’s decided Milo is its father.

In Halloween Treats Milo and the Wizard-With-No-Name learn what becomes of the discarded Halloween candy that nobody likes.

My favourite character in this strange family is Jill. She rocks awesome purple hair, loves vampires, has great clothes, jewellery and makeup, and works in a comic book store.

There were several artists involved in this collection. My favourite artwork was by Scoot McMahon and would have preferred it had they illustrated the entire book. There wasn’t anything wrong with the other artists’ work. I just really liked Scoot’s style.

My favourite panel features a gigantic purple cat doing a Stay Puft Marshmallow Man impersonation by reaching for Milo and Wizard-Man who are on the roof of a building. The awesome thing about this gigantic cat is that it’s actually all of the cats joined together to form the shape of the “man-cat”.

This collection was a bit of a mixed bag for me. There were a couple of stories I wasn’t a fan of and I felt the others needed to be fleshed out (apologies again!) some more. I enjoyed the stories more once I stopped questioning everything that didn’t make sense to me and let them flow over me instead. The series itself has potential and I’m interested to see where it goes from here.

Thank you very much to NetGalley, Lion Forge and Diamond Book Distributors for the opportunity to read this graphic novel.

Rating: 3 out of 5.

Once Upon a Blurb

Milo is just your average twelve-year-old boy. His loving parents are mummies, his best friend is an old wizard, and his babysitters are witches. When Milo isn’t busy at school or visiting the comic book store, he loves to hang out with cool teen vampires, play with magical kitties, feed a hungry kaiju, and avoid a love-crazed gorilla at all costs. You know, typical kid stuff.

Under Dogs – Andrius Burba

When I saw the cover photograph of Under Dogs and read in the blurb the comparison between this book and previous favourites like Underwater Dogs and Shake it was a no brainer for me. I had to have this book and start it immediately!

I’ll admit it. I’m a dog person. I also love cats that are happy to hang out on your lap for hours while you read and cuddle them but the pets who have always owned me have been dogs. I practically melt each time a dog comes up to me and deems me worthy of giving them a cuddle. I met the most adorable 14 week black labrador on the beach yesterday. His name is Jet and he’s at the soft puppy fur, slightly nippy but surprisingly well behaved stage.

He came right up to me for a cuddle and I considered dognapping him on the spot. He was so big and brave when a big dog came to say hi until the big dog got too close and little Jet’s bravery ran out. He ran to me, put his front paws on my knees, leaned against me and asked without saying a word for me to protect him from this scary giant.

Incidentally the scary giant was actually a grown lab and so placid and adorable itself, but this puppy didn’t know that and he trusted me, a stranger he’d met less than 5 minutes earlier, to protect him. Aww! 😍 Why did I tell you that story? I don’t know. I guess looking at the photographs in Under Dogs reminded me of the most recent canine I’ve fallen in love with.

Andrius Burba’s photography is gorgeous! While it’s very difficult to take a bad photo of a dog regardless of your skill level, Andrius’ perspective and composition was wonderful. I loved the stark black background as there was nothing to distract me from the sweet, quirky and interesting expressions on the dogs.

There are fluffballs with feet, dogs who couldn’t care less that there’s a photographer and/or camera equipment beneath them and others who are peering down with bemused, intrigued or dorky looks on their faces. There are a couple who look to me like they have fear in their eyes and I can only hope if this is true that someone was there to cuddle them in my absence after their photo was taken.

I have two favourite dogs in this book. The first is a Basenji who looks a little like it’s been jumping on a trampoline and is currently midair. It’s got the cutest little tummy wrinkles and head wrinkles. Its pads are still mostly new puppy pink with the beginnings of the darker patches that come with experiencing the world. The look on its face is one that appears to be a mix of curiosity and a wary concern about what’s going on beneath their feet. With a shiny black nose and eyes that seem all pupil, this is the dog I most wanted to cuddle and borrow forever.

My second favourite is an Italian Greyhound momma that’s sitting with her back left leg lifted in the typical ‘I’m about to lick my genitals’ position. I’m sure I’m not the only one that makes up stories about what’s really happening in pictures I see and what I loved about this photo is the timing and the angle that shows her lifted paw directly in front of her eyes. Her head is turned to the left. You can almost imagine that she’s camera shy and is hiding her eyes in the most awkward way possible in an ‘if I can’t see you then you can’t see me’ moment.

A couple of elements were missing in this book that I’ve appreciated in other dog photography books. While each portrait is accompanied by the breed of dog it features, at no point do we learn the name, age or any fun facts about any of the dogs. There also isn’t the introduction I’ve come to expect from the photographer explaining why they chose this perspective, how they accomplished it or any anecdotes about misbehaving or funny outtakes.

I expect this is going to be one of the more popular gift books of 2018 and I am almost positive I’ll be buying it myself once it’s released. For those of you who aren’t dog people, I’ve found a cat version by the same photographer, Unter Katzen, that you may want to check out. I wouldn’t be surprised to see an English version of this one printed soon.

Thank you so much to NetGalley and Andrews McMeel Publishing for the opportunity to be one of the first to adore this book.

Rating: 4 out of 5.

Once Upon a Blurb

An adorable book of dog photography showing our furry friends from an unexpected perspective – from underneath.

In the vein of bestsellers like Underwater Dogs and ShakeUnder Dogs is a heartwarming and unique look at man’s best friend. Photographer Andrius Burba’s striking images of dogs taken from below are by turns surprising and hilarious – providing readers with a little-seen view of the pets we love.

She Used to Be on a Milk Carton – Kailey Tedesco

Illustrations – Whitney Proper

You know that book that makes you feel like your brain has liquefied and is slowly draining from your ears with every page you read and by the end you are fairly certain that you qualify for the Dumbest Person on the Planet award? I just finished it.

Do you want to know what this book of poetry is about? Me too! I don’t know why She Used to Be on a Milk Carton. Maybe she was lost, just like I was while I carefully read each poem trying to extract its meaning. I know what the blurb said and I know I was really interested in reading these poems.

There were a couple of poems where it’s possible I may have cottoned on to the central theme but I’m afraid I needed someone to dumb it down for me. There was a girl in my English class who would write poems that she read to the class frequently. I never understood those either but my teacher practically fell over herself declaring their literary masterpiece worthiness.

I assume these poems were very well written and that people much smarter than myself will rave about how full of deep and meaningful ideas they were. I’m certain that English teacher could wax lyrical about every poem in this book. If you read these poems after checking out someone else’s review (preferably someone who can actually provide valuable feedback about this book) I really hope you love it.

Personally I’m going to go find a sponge to mop up as much of my brain as possible and hope I can find a way to reverse the liquefaction process.

Thank you to NetGalley and April Gloaming Publishing for the opportunity to read this book.

Rating: 2 out of 5.

Once Upon a Blurb

Between body and spirit, place and soul, love and trauma, and logic and magic, Kailey Tedesco finds herself between two worlds in this stunning collection of debut poetry. Treading the line between the dual nature of our human spirit, this collection brings to light what our physical, and then spiritual, selves’ place is in the cosmos and the realm beyond our immediate sight.

Through images of Catholicism, heavenly bodies, caul births, dark magic, serpents, and God, Tedesco challenges what it means to be Woman in a world so clouded by opposing truths, illuminating herself and elevating our human experience.

The Snitch, the Witch, and the One Who Was Rich – Joe Spraga

After Dorothy learns she’s not in Kansas anymore, she follows the yellow brick road in the magical Land of Oz to find the Wizard of Oz, who she hopes will be able to help her return home. Along the way to the Emerald City she meets the Scarecrow, Tin Man and Cowardly Lion, all of whom could also benefit from the Wizard’s help. After a long journey and some drama concerning flying monkeys and a meltable witch, the new friends are either granted their wish or learn they had the magic within them all the time.

Oh, wait. Wrong story. Let me start again.

Snitch lives in town and follows the purple moonlit trail on their way to see Father Time, who they hope to get help from. Along the way to Father Time’s place, Snitch meets the nasty old Witch. The two then form a line to wait for Father Time to open the door and help them. The One Who Was Rich then joins the line, followed by a good portion of the townsfolk, who make their needs known. While the nasty old Witch does look a lot like meltable witch from Oz, unfortunately there are no flying monkeys in this book. Finally the Wizard Father Time opens his door, offers some sage advice about the value of time and grants some their wishes. Others learn they had the magic within them all the time and make the necessary changes to their lives themselves.

So, totally different story. Sort of.

Ignoring the fact that this story is essentially a reboot of a classic that’s over a century old and wasn’t ‘broke’ in the first place, the rhymes are quite cute and the townsfolk learn valuable lessons or get what they want given to them. The Celtic font looks nice but I’m not sure it’s the most sensible choice for young readers who may have trouble with the legibility of some letters.

The clock goes backwards between the Candlestick Man arriving and the Drummer who arrives later when it’s significantly darker. There’s also a picture where the clock is missing entirely. Father Time opens his door at midnight and then he starts his speech with “It’s nearly midnight”. To emphasise this point the next illustration shows him pointing to the clock that was midnight previously and it is now almost 11:55pm. It looks as though the midnight illustration of the first half of the line up has been recycled which would have worked if the time had been changed. Harry, who was a shy guy and didn’t speak (probably because he had no mouth) is no longer a shy guy after seeing Father Time, possibly because Father Time gave him a mouth. Yes, I know I’m being picky about the attention to detail but kids pick up on stuff like that.

I was interested in this book because of the inviting cover design. I still love it, I liked the design of most of the characters and I enjoyed the rhyming. Overall though, it just wasn’t for me. There were other whinges I had as I went through the book a second time but I’m sure you get the idea by now. It did make me want to watch The Wizard of Oz for the billionth time though.

Thank you so much to NetGalley and BooksGoSocial for the opportunity to read this book.

P.S. I’m in the minority with this one. There are a number of 4 and 5 star reviews for this book so please don’t just take my word for it. Check some of those out too before you decide if this book is for you or not.

Update

It turns out if you post a review on Amazon that this author doesn’t like they feel free to spew paragraphs of abuse at you. There was so much more I could have told you all that was negative about this book but I tried to find positives instead, like the fantastic front cover art. I guess the fact that I explicitly stated that I was in the minority and encouraged people to check out other reviews means nothing.

Once Upon a Blurb

Welcome to Moonwood, a modern day nursery rhyme about how to use your time wisely and be a better you! 

Follow these quirky townsfolk in a beautifully illustrated picture book, as they gather outside the clock tower and seek Father Time’s wisdom on achieving personal goals, and getting along with each other in their magical community. 

What will they discover? Time is the only true commodity. This story shows both children and adults, that we must use what little time we all have to be good to each other.