Author: Schizanthus Nerd

Everything is Mama – Jimmy Fallon

Illustrations – Miguel Ordóñez

I’m sorry but this was terribly boring. By now you all probably know how I hide Clifford and Grug books at random times for my Mum to find. On Mother’s Day I’ll usually try to find her a really sweet kid’s book about how wonderful Mum’s are. I was test driving this book for this Mother’s Day’s selection and while the cover is so sweet, it quickly became a big fat ‘no’.

I guess Jimmy Fallon warns us with his title that everything is gonna be mama this, mama that, but after the second or third time I was wondering if this book would ever end. I can see the marketing potential for it and am sure plenty of Mums to be are going to receive this at baby showers around the world but if you’re looking for a baby shower book, you can do so much better!

The only saving grace of this book for me was illustrator Miguel Ordóñez who probably won’t get the credit they deserve for their lovely, age appropriate illustrations. They are the sweet I was looking for. It’s a shame the words didn’t work for me.

Reason to love your library #586: You can test drive books that you think you’ll love but don’t without having the regret of spending money on something you wouldn’t be happy with.

Rating: 2 out of 5.

Once Upon a Blurb

Jimmy Fallon, one of the most popular entertainers in the world, was on a mission with his first children’s book to have every baby’s first word be DADA. And it worked! A lot of babies’ first words were DADA. However, everything after that was MAMA.

So take a lighthearted look at the world from your baby’s point of view as different animals try to teach their children that there are other words in addition to MAMA for familiar objects and activities. 

by Categories: ReviewTags: , ,

Trucks are Terrific! – Jibjab Bros Studios

Now, I’ve never heard of Ask the StoryBots, most likely because I’m one of the last people on Earth that doesn’t pay to watch TV. I selected this little board book at my library because of the adorable little guys on the front cover, StoryBots apparently.

This board book is so cute! With sweet rhymes and colourful pictures of trucks and the StoryBot guys, little kidlets will see some of the different things that trucks can do and what they may have on board. I love the expressions of pure joy on all but one of the Storybots and the cranky red one was fun too. With the array of bright colours this book would be helpful in teaching kids colours.

Besides the expressions on the StoryBots’ faces there are some other amusing moments, like when Mr Cranky Pants gets covered in mud. My favourite is the horse’s expression when he realises a Monster Truck is currently midair above him, already having cleared three cars with the horse shadowed beneath its wheels. Oh, and there’s ice cream!🍦What could be bad about a book with ice cream?!

Rating: 4 out of 5.

Once Upon a Blurb

No matter their shape or size or what they’re hauling, trucks rule! Join the StoryBots as they drive trucks both familiar and silly. Toddlers and preschoolers will recognise the signature catchy rhymes and colourful art from the video “Drive a Truck” on YouTube.

by Categories: ReviewTags: , ,

Honey Moon #3: Not Your Valentine – Sofi Benitez

Illustrations – Becky Minor

Sorry but this one wasn’t for me. I really enjoyed the first two Honey Moon books though.

Thank you very much to NetGalley, Rabbit Publishers and Diamond Book Distributors for the opportunity to read this book.

Rating: 2 out of 5.

Once Upon a Blurb

A Sleepy Hollow Valentine’s Day dance with a boy! NO WAY, NO HOW is Honey Moon going to a scary sweetheart dance with that Noah kid. But, after being forced to dance together in PE class, word gets around that Honey likes Noah. Now, she has no choice but to stop Valentine’s Day in its tracks. Things never go as planned, and Honey winds up with the surprise of her Sleepy Hollow life.

by Categories: ReviewTags: , , , , ,

Geronimo Stilton #10: Hang On To Your Whiskers! – Geronimo Stilton

💔 Achy Breaky Heart Month! 💔 Super 🧀 Cheesy 🧀 Edition!

Geronimo Stilton: Hang on to Your Whiskers was just as 🧀 Gouda 🧀 as The Curse of the Cheese Pyramid, probably better. In this book Geronimo falls in love at first sight at the Tail Trap Diner over a cup of spilled coffee. ☕️ Geronimo later discovers this 🐭 fabumouse 🐭 new love interest is none other than countess Stephanie von Sugarfur. He thinks she’s the best thing since 🧀 sliced cheese 🧀!

After spending big on an 🧀 Aboundance 🧀 of 🧀 cheesy 🧀 gifts for the countess and realising his love is unrequited he becomes 🧀 Moody Blue 🧀. Geronimo’s sister Thea, cousin Trap and favourite nephew Benjamin decide they’ve 🧀 Goats 🧀 to lift him out of his 🧀 Off Kilter 🧀 state and after reading an article about the mysterious Eighth Wonder, the Valley of the 🧀 Cheesettes 🧀, they are certain they’ve found a way to repair Geronimo’s 💔 Achy Breaky Heart 💔.

The family wind up on a semi 🧀 Impromptu 🧀 trip to search for this Eighth Wonder. Perhaps if they succeed they will become 🐭 famouse 🐭. Naturally it’s up to the 9 year old to save the day because all of the adults are behaving like 🐭 mouselets 🐭.

Some of the best exclamations in this book include:
🧀 Cheese niblets!
🐀 Rancid Rat Hairs!
🧀 Holey cheese!

This book was first published in 2000 so the presence of a camera that has film that needs to be developed makes sense in that context. Ah, nostalgia. I loved my days working in a Photolab! The stories I could tell you – but won’t because this is a review of a children’s book. 📷 😜

This series is aimed at 🐭 mouselets 🐭 from 5 to 8 years who love to read and those who don’t. With splashes of funky formatted font, funny illustrations that complement the story well and maps of New 🐭 Mouse 🐭 City, 🐭 Mouse 🐭 Island and The 🐀 Rodent’s 🐀 Gazette, there’s plenty to keep the reader 🐭 amoused 🐭. I loved the illustrations and I’d just like to point out that on the cover those are glow in the dark butterflies!! 🦋😃 I’d like to place an order for several hundred of those please.

Overall I enjoyed this book more than The Curse of the Cheese Pyramid, probably because this one had a resolution and didn’t do the always irritating ‘Someone told me it would make a great story so I wrote a book about it, and guess what?! This is that story!’ thing.

Thank you very much to NetGalley and Sweet Cherry 🍒 Publishing for the opportunity to read this book.

P.S. Apologies for recycling the 🧀 cheesy 🧀 names from my previous review but they worked for this one too. You may now press charges against me for excessive use of emojis and crimes against humour. 😊

Rating: 4 out of 5.

Once Upon a Blurb

Love is in the air! Geronimo has met the mouse of his dreams but he just can’t play it cool. He needs to do something amazing, something incredible to catch her attention! What better way than by searching for the Eighth Wonder of the World: the mysterious Valley of the Cheeselets? 

Will he return home a legend? And will it all be worth it in the end?

by Categories: ReviewTags: , , , ,

Came Back to Show You I Could Fly – Robin Klein

I’m not sure how you’re supposed to review a book you’ve loved since your early teens, especially when you haven’t read it for about 20 years. With such high expectations and nostalgia taking hold I was worried that Came Back To Show You I Could Fly wouldn’t stand the test of time. How happily wrong I was!

It was everything I remembered and more. Angie and Seymour, both lonely outcasts, took up residence in my heart way back in the early 1990’s when it was assigned reading for my English class. I can’t begin to imagine how many times I reread this book as a teenager, taking hope from what is quite a sad book on the surface.

Seymour is staying for several weeks over the school holidays with Thelma, a lady who clearly has no experience caring for children, but has been basically conned into protecting Seymour from his father by his drama queen mother. Seymour is a lonely, neglected, bullied 11 year old who is so well mannered and adorable that I just want to hug and then adopt him. I was only a year or two older than Seymour at the time I first experienced this book and while I saw him as a peer at the time, I now look on him as someone I desperately want to mother.

By chance Seymour winds up at Angie’s home and over the course of the novel they form a sibling/friend bond and go on adventures all over the city. Angie brings colour and excitement to Seymour’s stone grey life. Seriously, Seymour’s Mum, a stone grey pencil case is not a cool birthday present!

Angie is effervescent and possibly stole someone else’s personality because she seems to have more than one person’s quota. With the ability to talk under water and regale Seymour with humourous anecdotes from her childhood, complete with impersonations, she’s a live wire. As a young teen fresh from a several year The Baby-sitters Club obsession, Angie’s dress sense reminded me of what I loved about Claudia Kishi, in particular the quirky earrings.

Beneath Angie’s bravado she’s hiding a secret from Seymour. Angie is addicted to drugs. I was really naïve in this area as a kid, coming from a family where no one even drinks alcohol, so this book was my introduction into this previously unknown world. It really opened my eyes at the time and in retrospect I can trace my love of social issues YA books to this one. I can also see the signs through the book of what’s really happening in Angie’s world that I missed as a kid.

What I really appreciated in my reread as an adult is how honestly Angie’s addiction is portrayed, vomit and all. Besides the suspicions Seymour has that Angie’s flu isn’t actually the flu, there is a sensitive yet heartbreaking insight into how drug addiction also affects parents, siblings and friends. While this is clearly shown with Angie’s Mum and sister, I am surprised that I never noticed before that Angie’s Dad and brother are barely even mentioned.

One of the things I love about books is how they influence who you become when you let them into your soul. The awe I felt as a kid at Angie’s clothes and earrings had a huge impact on me and I have an array of weird and wonderful earrings in my collection now. Angie’s lifelong habit of naming her outfits turned into me naming my cars. My first car I actually named Angie after this character. My car, like Angie, was initially rough around the edges but with some love and time I knew it would be loyal and good because beneath the exterior it was a fighter. That car served me well for a number of years.

Nostalgia aside, Robin Klein’s book definitely stands the test of time. Her characters are damaged but loveable, and even when they’re making truly dodgy decisions you want them to prevail in life. Once again I was emotionally invested in the story and no, they’re not tears. I’ve just got something in my eyes. 😭 This remains one of my all time favourites and I could happily go straight back to page 1 and read it all over again right now.

What I Hated: I almost feel like apologising to you about the cover image of this edition. While there’s nothing wrong with this image itself (although not my taste) and it would work well for another book, it does not belong on the cover of this one. Please, in this instance do not judge a book by its cover. The Angie on this cover is bland, boring, forgettable; an imposter. Angie is anything but.

The cover of my copy (the same one our English class at school read from) is the 1991 Puffin Books edition, and this features the real Angie and the real Seymour. The cover illustration is by Vivienne Goodman and you can tell she understood these characters.

Angie is up front, with her dyed hair tousled, shoulder tattoo, painted black fingernails, a jumble of bangles and the earrings I think she purchased with Seymour in her ears along with the first few of an array of earrings working their way up underneath her hair. She’s got this look on her face that’s one part “don’t mess with me”, one part sad, and with a hint of the potential of something sarcastic and inappropriate for the situation about to make its way out of her mouth. She looks like a troubled Meg Ryan, circa When Harry Met Sally….

In the background, there’s Seymour in his jeans, grandpa shirt and daggy sandals, with this smile on his face like he can’t believe he’s in the presence of this angelic being. Right behind Seymour is an old, worn fence, obviously from the non-posh side of the alley. These are the people you’ll be meeting in this book. I hope you’ll love them like I do.

Thank you so much to NetGalley and Text Publishing for the opportunity to renew my love for this classic Australian novel.

Rating: 5 out of 5.

Once Upon a Blurb

It’s the summer holidays and eleven-year-old loner, Seymour, lodged with a fussy guardian in an inner-city suburb, is bored and unhappy in his confined world.

By chance he meets Angie – beautiful, charismatic Angie. He is bewitched, and his world is opened as she takes him on unexpected holiday outings and shopping sprees.

Angie, however, is not what she seems.

by Categories: ReviewTags: , , , ,

Far Out Fairy Tales: Snow White and the Seven Robots – Louise Simonson

Illustrations – Jimena Sanchez S

I found my new graphic novel series obsession! It’s the Far Out Fairy Tales series! I’ve just powered my way through Snow White and the Seven Robots and ordered every other one my library owns. I love my library for introducing me to amazing stories I’d probably never find otherwise.

This quirky retelling of Snow White takes place in Techworld and Snow White has been created. Queen Regent fears Snow’s intelligence, not beauty! Woohoo! Hello, new world of fairytales!

The Queen’s magic mirror is a satellite that monitors their planet and the Queen doesn’t offer Snow a poisoned apple. This evil, evil traitor offers Snow [sniff, sniff 😢] poisoned chocolate! How dare she taint the most heavenly of the food groups!

Entertaining for adults although allegedly they’re aimed at kids, this graphic novel is a delightful retelling where Snow is not only intelligent but is gifted specifically in science. After the story there are extra bits including a glossary of terms, a summary of the original tale and some of the key differences between the old and new stories.

It’s a quick read that I’d happily reread and the illustrations are excellent! My only nitpick (and it’s a minor one) is that I would have loved for the seven robots to have names and individual personalities.

Rating: 5 out of 5.

Once Upon a Blurb

Far, far away, on a distant planet called Techworld, a little girl named Snow White is born. Created by the planet’s smartest minds to be the perfect scientist, Snow immediately shows a knack for working with electronics. The Queen, fearing for her crown, exiles Snow White so she cannot grow up and take the Queen’s place as the most intelligent person on the planet. However, Snow White’s willingness to help those in need – especially the downtrodden robots of Techworld – earns her many friends, and they are all quite eager to help her cause.

by Categories: ReviewTags: , , , ,

Cranes Lift! – Beth Bence Reinke

Let’s face it, cranes are cool! 🏗 Cranes Lift! is part of a series that also includes backhoes, bulldozers, dump trucks, concrete mixers and front loaders, and is aimed at early readers from 4 to 7 years.

Covering the parts of a crane, what cranes do and where they can be found, this book also asks readers questions like “What do you think cranes help build?” The text is accompanied by full page photographs of cranes in action.

I particularly liked the photograph pointing out the parts of a crane and expect your early reader will eagerly point out all of the parts they know the names of next time you see one together. The font is well spaced, the pages are colourful and at just 24 pages there aren’t too many words so your early reader shouldn’t be overwhelmed.

P.S. I know. I borrow some really random kid’s books from the library. 😃

Rating: 4 out of 5.

Once Upon a Blurb

What do construction workers use to lift things high in the sky? A crane! Cranes help builders reach the tops of tall buildings. From apartments to skyscrapers, cranes work on tall jobs. Age-appropriate critical thinking questions, carefully levelled text, and vibrant photos help young readers learn all about cranes.

by Categories: ReviewTags: ,

The I’M NOT SCARED Book – Todd Parr

This is a colourful book aimed at young kidlets to help them acknowledge and face their fears. Throughout the book common childhood fears including the dark, dogs, what’s under your bed, storms, arguments and getting lost in a store are addressed, along with ways to overcome fear in those situations.

Encouraging children to tell someone about their fears, this book offers some easy solutions and different ways of thinking about fears to help overcome them. A nightlight can help if you’re scared of the dark. Building a fort during a storm is a great distraction tool.

I wasn’t aware that shopping for new underwear was scary as a kid (I know the price tags are scary for adults) but if it helps to wear your new undies on your head, more power to you!

I loved the bright, cheerful illustrations and that there’s no judgement about having a fear in the first place. By offering suggestions of ways to overcome fears it empowers children to face their fears and perhaps even come up with some ideas of their own. I just wish our caped crusader on the cover image featured inside as well.

Rating: 4 out of 5.

Once Upon a Blurb

Sometimes I’m scared of dogs.
I’m not scared when they give me kisses.

Sometimes I’m scared I will make a mistake.
I’m not scared when I know I tried my best.

With his signature blend of playfulness and sensitivity, Todd Parr explores the subject of all things scary and assures readers that all of us are afraid sometimes.

by Categories: ReviewTags: , , ,

Dating Dilemmas #1: The Dating Debate – Chris Cannon

Of course I had to read an actual romance novel during 💔 Achy Breaky Heart Month! 💔. Apologies to Chris Cannon in advance for choosing The Dating Debate. Chris, you may recall that I previously reviewed Boomerang Boyfriend and I’m sorry for any therapy bills you incurred as a result. I remain staunchly anti-romance yet your blurbs keep sucking me in. Excuse me while I continue one of my many arguments debates with Nina and West.

Me: Hold on. Weren’t you just having an anti-Valentine’s Day rant a few pages ago?

Nina: Yeah, but –

Me: Yet now you’re planning to go to the Valentine’s Day dance at your school with the boy next door, who is gorgeous and can speak fluent Harry Potter.

Nina: Uh-huh, but note that I’m not going with the gorgeous boy who doesn’t get Harry Potter at all.

Me: Okay, so I get the book thing but why are all of the guys gorgeous?

Nina: Well, I am one of the main characters in a romance novel.

Me: Hmm… So, West. Are all the girls in this book good looking as well?

West: Well, duh! Nina is cute, obviously. I’ll bet that even spatula makeup girl is a stunner. Romance novel, remember?

Me: Gotcha. So, West, you’re named after a direction. Are you a Kardashian offspring by any chance?

West: I dunno. Let me go ask my mother.

Nina: Whoa! You have a mother?

Me: So, Nina, back to the whole Valentine’s Day dance thing. You don’t like Valentine’s Day or Valentine’s Day dances and you don’t want to go, yet you’re going with the gorgeous next door neighbour just to be stubborn. Is that right?

Nina: That pretty much sums it up. You want some chocolate?

Me: Obviously! Thanks! [grabs the chocolate and starts munching] Why don’t you just stay at home and read a book on Valentine’s Day? That’s what I’ll be doing.

Nina: Sounds great, but unfortunately as a main character in a romance novel it’s in my contract that my decisions don’t have to make sense and if I stay at home I can’t all of a sudden fall in love with the gorgeous boy next door, then find something to cry over before we decide we’re meant to be together forever due to our mutual love of Harry Potter.

Me: Okaaaay… So, West. Any thoughts?

West: I just hope Nina doesn’t find out my secret. Any chance we can change this from a romance novel to another genre so I can keep my personal business private?

Me: Nope, but I’d love that because I’m sick of watching you two kiss and argue.

West: This is going to end in tears. I just know it.

Me: Yeah, me too, but what can you do. Romance novel, after all. Personally I think the two of you need some therapy to sort out your trust, self esteem and shame issues before you seriously consider dating. I hear Lisa’s mother is a good therapist. Hey, what’s the deal with you two juggling issues beyond your years within your respective families, yet you act like 12 year olds when you’re dating?

West: You’re asking me? I’m just doing what Chris Cannon tells me to do! You’re the one with a choice here! Why are you reading this book when you’re so anti-romance?

Me: Sucked in by Harry Potter, just like you. Chris Cannon found and exploited my weakness – again. [sigh] And she just had to go and include an adorable dog too, didn’t she.

West: Tell me about it! I’m still trying to get dog fur out of my clothes.

Nina: So, you coming to the bookstore tonight with Lisa and I?

Me: Of course! Got any more mini bars of chocolate?

So, Chris Cannon, you sucked me in again. If I can enjoy the non-romance parts of your romance novels then I can certainly understand the appeal for readers who actively seek out that genre. I really enjoy the way you write, despite the genre.

If you ever decide to write a YA book that doesn’t major on romance and holds onto the social issues themes but delves deeper into them, I’ll be front row centre of your cheer squad. Regardless, I’m definitely interested in reading your next book (sorry!).

My Nitpicking: Without giving anything away I think there was more to one person’s mental health diagnosis than what was revealed in the book and would have loved for this to have been dealt with further as they were an interesting character. Unfortunately they came across as though the wheel was spinning but the hamster was dead and I think they were actually a lot smarter than they seemed.

My Nitpicking – The Sequel: Some of the characters without much page time came across as fairly two-dimensional. However, with the length of the book and the issues raised in it, there probably wasn’t enough room to add another dimension to these characters. Their contribution wasn’t pivotal to the story anyway.

Favourite Sentence Snippet:

“then he kissed me again, a slow, deep kiss that scrambled what was left of my brain.”

Vindicated! Kissing in romance novels does cause brain damage in characters!

Thank you so much to NetGalley and Teen Crush, an imprint of Entangled Publishing, LLC for the opportunity to read this book.

Rating: 4 out of 5.

Once Upon a Blurb

Nina Barnes thinks Valentine’s Day should be optional. That way single people like her wouldn’t be subjected to kissy Cupids all over the place. That is, until her mom moves them next door to the brooding hottie of Greenbrier High, West Smith. He’s funny, looks amazing in a black leather jacket, and he’s fluent in Harry Potter, but she’s not sure he’s boyfriend material. 

West isn’t sure what to make of Nina. She’s cute and loves to read as much as he does, but she seems to need to debate everything and she has a pathological insistence on telling the truth. And West doesn’t exactly know how to handle that, since his entire life is a carefully constructed secret. Dating the girl next door could be a ton of fun, but only if Nina never finds out the truth about his home life. It’s one secret that could bring them together or rip them apart. 

Disclaimer: This Entangled Teen Crush book is not for anyone who has to get in the last word, but it is for all book nerds, especially those who live next door to so called unapproachable gorgeous guys. There’s no debating the chemistry.

by Categories: ReviewTags: , , , , , ,

I Love You More Than the Smell of Swamp Gas – Kevan Atteberry

Welcome to 💔 Achy Breaky Heart Month! 💔

I’m kicking off my love inspired bookfest with this fun Kevan Atteberry book for quirky adults and their kidlets, who are going to be quirky too, like it or not! 🤪 If I was the type of person to get all gooey over Valentine’s Day, this is the book I’d want my Valentine to buy me.

Papa monster and junior monster are chasing a skink through the stinky swamp under the gaze of a full moon. The young monster sees Papa enjoying himself so much and wonders if Papa loves him as much as the purple-horned skunk, the ghost bats and other wonderful creatures and creepy crawlies that they encounter along the way. Papa’s answer is always an enthusiastic ‘yes!’, and that he loves him more.

This is so much fun to read aloud, with rhymes of the “bubbling slime” and “thick gooey grime” variety, a perfect bedtime story with laughs and reminders of how big a parent’s love is for their child. If I had a kidlet I’d be making up my own “I love you mores” to accompany this book and would use it to increase the silly in our home. However a calming story may be needed after this one if you expect your child to go to sleep because this one has the potential to increase both excitement and decibels.

I really enjoyed the illustrations, with some left of centre takes on familiar animals. My personal favourites were the purple bloodsucking ducks with green wings, fangs and kind of dopey expressions.

I was also very partial to the spider parade, all of whom also had fangs. My favourite headstone was the one for Edgar Allen Potato. 😃

I smiled my way through this book and would happily do so over and over … and over …

P.S. It may be a small bookfest because I’m allergic to romance. 🤮

Rating: 5 out of 5.

Once Upon a Blurb

Little monster wonders: Does Papa love the swamp more than he loves his little monster?

Papa and little monster are on a skink chase in a dark, stinky swamp. 

Do you love me as much as the skink that you chase … or the smell of the swamp … or the beasts in this place? 

From the author-illustrator of Bunnies!!! and Puddles!!!, as well as the illustrator of Tickle Monster, Kevan Atteberry, comes a monstrously tender and silly tale guaranteed to elicit lots of giggles and monster hugs. 

by Categories: ReviewTags: , , ,