Tag: Spoilers

We Are Monsters – Brian Kirk

Spoilers Ahead!

“It’s official. The Apocalypse has come to Sugar Hill.”

Alex, Eli and Angela work together in the forensics ward of Sugar Hill, which houses and treats the criminally insane. Angela is a social worker who is described by a friend as “Dr. Do Good by day and Little Miss Devil by night”. Alex Drexler is a psychiatrist whose views on treatment are diametrically opposed to those of his boss and mentor, Dr Eli Alpert, Sugar Hill’s Chief Medical Director. Eli’s approach is humanistic, with a focus on treating patients with dignity and respect. Meanwhile, Alex is in the process of trialling an experimental drug to cure schizophrenia.

Why did the mind have the capacity to create delusions? To hallucinate? To perceive the unreal? And why, so often, did such altered states appear to the perceiver as the actual reality? A world more real than this one.

When the funding for his trials is withdrawn, Alex winds up continuing his experiment. His latest subject is Sugar Hill’s newest patient, Crosby Nelson, the Apocalypse Killer. Because what could possibly go wrong when you use a mentally ill, traumatised serial killer as your guinea pig?!

More background information is provided about characters than I’m used to seeing in horror books. This took me out of the story initially although I could understand the relevance of this information later on. It’s not only the patients whose pasts haunt them and it’s not always obvious who should be a patient, especially when the workers’ own demons are revealed.

Either she is insane, or I am. Or nobody is. Or we all are. Either way, who am I to say?

The only character I really liked was Eli. I think I would have liked Crosby as well but I didn’t get much of a sense of who he was outside of his mental health and trauma histories. Fortunately it’s not necessary to love horror book characters. I enjoyed hoping Alex would get a taste of his own medicine and I couldn’t wait for a couple of other nasties to get their comeuppance.

At times it felt like a hallucinogen was wafting off the pages. I wasn’t always especially clear about what was really going on during the more trippy parts.

He was now unsure which reality had been a dream and which one was real.

If I’d encountered this sense of unease, not being able to easily discern reality, in another book I’d probably tell you it was a reason I didn’t like it. This book, though? It was like I was being given a glimpse into what life must be like all the time for some of the residents of Sugar Hill and it was scary to even contemplate living in their worlds.

While I’ve known a lot of people with various mental illnesses, my knowledge of schizophrenia and psychosis are limited to the DSM-5 and random articles and books I’ve read. Because of this I cannot comment on the accuracy of their depictions in this book but I didn’t come across anything that stood out to me as ‘there’s something wrong with this picture’ symptom wise.

Between the graphic violence (I almost DNF’ed this book when the dog died) and derogatory terms used for pretty much anyone you can think of, sometimes challenged but oftentimes not, this book isn’t going to be for everyone. If having anything uncomfortably close to your eyes makes you squeamish you may have trouble with some scenes.

Thank you so much to NetGalley and Flame Tree Press for the opportunity to read this book.

Rating: 4 out of 5.

Once Upon a Blurb

Some doctors are sicker than their patients. When a troubled psychiatrist loses funding to perform clinical trials on an experimental cure for schizophrenia, he begins testing it on his asylum’s criminally insane, triggering a series of side effects that opens the mind of his hospital’s most dangerous patient, setting his inner demons free.

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Wayward Children #5: Come Tumbling Down – Seanan McGuire

Illustrations – Rovina Cai

Spoilers Ahead!

“Once a wayward child, always a wayward child.”

I’ve been waiting as patiently as possible for my next quest –

No quests.

Right. So I’ve been counting the days until I was finally able to spend more quality time with my fellow Waywards and today we went to the Moors! Who’s ‘we’? I travelled with the girl with the “perpetual sugar buzz”, the “Goblin Prince in Waiting”, the girl “with the ocean in her hair”, a mad scientist, the boy with the bone flute and the girl “with the lightning-powered heart”.

Travelling by lightning hasn’t been this much fun since I hitched a ride in a Delorean!

Having completed my most anticipated read of 2020 less than a fortnight into the year I now feel like I’ve wandered into a bittersweet limbo. I’m absolutely elated that, after a year of anticipation, my expectations (which were skyscraper looking down on clouds high) didn’t overshadow my enjoyment.

I’m proud of myself for savouring the experience, appreciating every sentence rather than bingeing the entire book in one sitting. I’m sad that I can never read this book for the first time ever again. I want to gush to anyone who will listen to me about every sentence I highlighted, every character, plot point, what I hope will happen next, what I fear will happen next … but spoilers.

“But I warn you, this isn’t a tale for the faint of heart. It is a story of murder, and betrayal, and sisterly love turned sour.”

I will tell you though, although this was not her story, Sumi was the standout wayward for me in this book. She somehow kept managing to snag the best lines and I don’t know which one of us this says more about but I understood every piece of Nonsense she uttered. I love that she gets to the heart of the issue and asks the truly important questions, like

“Why is the village of scary fish-people where you get your chocolate biscuits?”

One of the first things I tell anyone about me is that Every Heart a Doorway is my all time favourite book. I don’t care that I’m an adult; I will be searching for my door for the rest of my life and if you are also seeking admittance to your door, regardless of how different our true worlds look, I will consider you a kindred spirit.

Usually when I read a new addition to a beloved series there’s an anxiety that accompanies me. I’ve often found that the shine of the first book can be smudged when follow up books don’t meet my expectations. I’m aware that the pedestals I place books I love on can be difficult to reach and that’s part of the problem. So you’d think I’d be especially nervous whenever I begin a new Wayward Children book but I have absolute faith that my hopes, no matter how seemingly unrealistic they are, are safe with Seanan and she’s never let me down.

“New things are the best kind of magic there is.”

I don’t want this series to ever end. I want to visit every world. I want to secure a room at Eleanor West’s Home for Wayward Children while I wait for my own door to open. So far, none of the worlds I’ve visited with my fellow waywards have been my own, although I’ve caught glimpses of it in several. I fully expect that one day Seanan will write about my world and while I’m reading that story my book will magically transform into my very own door. I’m sure!

If you haven’t already read the first four books of this series, please remedy that ASAP before reading this one. Then you can join me as I begin the interminable wait for January 2021.

If you’ve read the first four books and are seeking a recap, check out the brilliance that is Seanan Twitter. If you haven’t read them, beware! Spoilers!

Also, if you want a more extensive catch up, read this. Beware! Much bigger spoilers!

As usual I couldn’t wait to get to the next Rovina Cai illustration. I was only going to include my favourite one here but I can’t decide so here they all are! I’m hiding them as spoilers in case you don’t want to see them before you get to that part of the story yourself.

Since I highlighted so much of this book that I probably should have just gone ahead and highlighted it all, it’s practically impossible to choose a favourite sentence. This is the one that spoke the loudest to me when I reread all of my highlights:

“No one should have to sit and suffer and pretend to be someone they’re not because it’s easier, or because no one wants to help them fix it.”

If anyone needs me I’ll be reading the sixth book in the series.

[But it’s not released yet.]

“Hey! Don’t you go getting logical rules on my illogical life plans”

[I’m serious. You must wait for another excruciatingly long year before you are allowed to continue this journey.]

“This is the awful sprinkles on the sundae of doom.”

Rating: 5 out of 5.

Once Upon a Blurb

When Jack left Eleanor West’s School for Wayward Children she was carrying the body of her deliciously deranged sister – whom she had recently murdered in a fit of righteous justice – back to their home on the Moors.

But death in their adopted world isn’t always as permanent as it is here, and when Jack is herself carried back into the school, it becomes clear that something has happened to her. Something terrible. Something of which only the maddest of scientists could conceive. Something only her friends are equipped to help her overcome.

Eleanor West’s “No Quests” rule is about to be broken.

Again.

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Crossroads Chronicles #1: Demon Bound – Chris Cannon

Spoilers Ahead!

As a long term romantiphobe it makes zero sense that I eagerly await the next book by an author who writes romance novels, but that’s the voodoo Chris Cannon has somehow managed to place upon me. After laughing at myself because of my accidental enjoyment of my first few Chris Cannon reads, I now get smiley when I realise there’s a new book on the horizon. See? Voodoo!

I don’t have to work to get into Chris’ books. I’m sucked in right about the time the main character is described as a bookworm. So, about page 1.

Meena lives in Crossroads, a small town in Southern Illinois with farmhouses and cornfields, a place she describes as “boring with a huge helping of judgmental”. Entertainment in Crossroads consists of the diner, library, pageants and bonfires. Meena isn’t a pageant kind of girl, unlike her older sister, so she spends a good portion of her time hiding out in the library. She lives in books and can’t wait to go away to college.

All of the trouble that follows Meena applying for a summer cleaning job with Wacky Winslow Old Lady Winslow Carol can be traced back to her need to feed her addiction to books, but as a fellow hopeless book addict I understand the pain of the money to book ratio only too well.

One of the reasons I liked to live in books is that real life mostly let me down.

Meena’s new job also requires she collects Carol’s orders from Madame Zelda, a fortune teller, whose nephew (sort of) is staying with her for the summer. I say ‘sort of’ because Zelda is actually Jake’s mother’s second husband’s aunt. Naturally Meena and Jake cross paths and then they’re practically insta-kissing, followed soon after by some insecurity and jealousy, then more kissing.

I was kind of afraid he’d forget about me as soon as another girl came along.

Previous Chris Cannon books I’ve read have been fun, bantery smooch-fests. This book also features some lip locking but a tad less banter than I’ve come to expect from Chris’ books. However, this one also includes some entertaining supernatural elements.

Witches, demons, spirits and vampires also make Crossroads their home, which makes for some interesting dynamics. Along with the good ol’ faithfuls like spells, wards and salt lines,

there are also imaginative additions like Super Soakers fuelled with holy water! I chuckled whenever a vampire said something “sucked”.

“Is it just me, or do you have a sense of impending doom?”

My favourite characters were Sybil, the vampire, and the familiars, Goblin and Sage. Bane, the crossroads demon, was an early contender but he creeped me out with his desire to keep touching Meena’s hair. He’s not the only supernatural being who seems fuzzy on the whole consent thing.

“You’re reading about demons? I’m flattered.”

Carol and Zelda, who seemed quite powerful in the lead up to the events in this book, disappointed me by seeming to accept the hands they were dealt without the fight that I expected from them. If there’s a sequel I’d love to see what they’re truly capable of.

It’s not a Chris Cannon book if I don’t get to drool over the food. I craved apple pie, pizza, hamburgers, chocolate shakes, cake, donuts,

cinnamon rolls, bacon, and ice cream during this book.

“Remember our family motto,” my dad said. “With ice cream, everything is possible.”

A few niggles and question marks (spoilers are included here!!):

I personally found some of the terms used, including “batshit crazy” and “nuts”, cringey. I also feel the language used when discussing suicide is important, so much prefer seeing ‘died by’ rather than ‘committed’ suicide.

When Meena says early on, “No, but it might explain the drinking”, she’s talking about Jake’s father. I’ve checked a few times and definitely acknowledge I could have missed something but as far as I can tell the only parent whose drinking had been mentioned up to that point was Meena’s father.

There’s a door that’s too small for Meena and Jake to use but when it’s opened from the other side they have no problem entering the room. I didn’t see any indication that the door changed size in the meantime.

Sage, Meena’s familiar, uses a credit card when he’s in human form. I wondered where he stores this when he transforms into a cat again. Also, what happens to the human clothing of familiars when they transform?

I may have misread this but there was a section which seemed to imply that dementia is a mental illness. My understanding is that dementia is a condition of the brain and sure, comorbidities with mental illnesses can and do exist, but isn’t one itself.

If Meena leaves her body for a week while she’s astral projecting, how did she not die of dehydration? Did the people around her physical body somehow get her to drink during that time? (Not to mention her bodily functions.)

When Jake says, “Did you call me to start a fight?”, it was he who called Meena, not the other way around.

I wanted to know more about the physical, emotional and behavioural impacts of being on a demon’s payment plan. One character mentions being more quick to anger since they’ve lost part of their soul but I’m greedy; if a concept like having your soul gradually removed is introduced, I want to know exactly how it works.

While this story is self contained there’s definitely room for a sequel. I’ll be hitching a ride to Crossroads if the story continues. I need to see a pageant in this town!

Thank you so much to NetGalley and Entangled Teen, an imprint of Entangled Publishing, LLC, for the opportunity to read this book.

Rating: 4 out of 5.

Once Upon a Blurb

When a summoning goes awry, suddenly booknerd Meena’s summer job becomes something drastically different. Instead of cleaning eccentric Carol’s house, she’s bound to a demon as his soul-collector. Soon Meena discovers that the boring, pageant-obsessed, bonfire-loving town that she’s never fit in to is a hotbed for soul-sucking demons, demon-hunting witches, and vampires who just wanna have fun … And then she comes into her own powers. 

Could things get any stranger? Good thing she meets new guy Jake – who gets her and still hangs around.

When Jake’s mum sends him off to his Aunt Zelda’s for the summer, he thought he’d be bored. But nothing is what it seems in this town. His aunt isn’t just odd, she’s a witch who fights demons and tries to maintain the magical balance of the town. Jake should get the hell out of there and, he would leave, except for bad-ass newbie witch Meena, who looks at him like he matters. 

He never counted on sticking around, but Meena’s bound to a demon who wants to destroy her soul – and Jake’s finally found someone worth fighting for.

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Snowball – Gregory Bastianelli

Spoilers Ahead!

How to know if a Christmas horror book is for me in three easy steps:

  1. It’s a Christmas horror book!

2. Include this quote in the first chapter –

The snowman’s head rose, tilted back as its face came into view. Beneath the coal-black eyes and long crooked carrot nose was a black mouth grinning with two rows of sharp teeth.

3. Actually, I don’t need any additional information. Bah humbug!

“What was your worst winter memory?”

This Christmas Eve, during one of the worst snowstorms in New Hampshire’s history, a group of motorists are faced with the nightmares of winters past. Stranded on the highway with the snow building up around their vehicles, these strangers will learn there’s something that connects them. The past is coming back to bite them, possibly literally. Everything got screwed up at Christmastime. Featuring (amongst other creepies) snowmen, Krampus, a snowglobe and a toy maker who wants to play a game, our unwitting players have the odds stacked against them.

Lining up to freeze to death (if something worse doesn’t get them first) …

This is Toby Hodge’s final Christmas with his son, Evan, and his grandkids before he and his wife, Nell, move to Florida. A snowplow driver who’s lplowing his final stretch of highway before retirement, Toby is the first person we meet. The first person introduced in a horror story tends to either be the first victim or the main character. I was veering toward ‘hero’ until I learned he was about to retire.

In his late 40’s, Mason Drake is a parole officer. He and his wife, Joy, have been together for over 20 years. They have teenage children, Duncan and Daria. They have been arguing today. Joy got a tad too friendly with a coworker during an office Christmas party. Their arguing and Joy’s indiscretion may not bode well for them.

A trucker, Tucker Jenks had planned on visiting his sister in Cranford, New Jersey on his way to drop off electronics in Manchester before the storm. Trucker’s friend in northern New Hampshire is letting him stay with him instead, if he can make it there. He smokes a joint but he also loved his Nana, so his chances of survival are fair.

Dean Hagen flew in from Alaska after his mother called to tell him his father was in the ICU after slipping on ice and cracking his hip so he gets brownie points for that. However, he’d “been on a consulting assignment for the past two months there, winnowing out the expendable employees at a manufacturing plant.” The Christmas misery he’s dealt to others may attract some bad karma.

Graham Sawyer picked up his best friend, Clark Brooks, at Boston’s Logan airport. Graham’s wife, Natalie, had wanted Clark to take the bus instead and Graham probably should have listened to her. She’s waiting at home for him with their three daughters. Clark is a divorce attorney from Emeryville, California. They have the potential to be this story’s heroes but not all heroes survive.

Kirk Britton and his girlfriend, Sonya Tackett, are college students with one semester left before graduation. They’re on their way to Sonya’s parents’ home for the holidays. Kirk has a surprise planned for Sonya on Christmas morning but given the horror lore surrounding people who have sex, they’re probably both toast.

Shelby Wallace wasn’t supposed to be driving her two children home from their father’s but he’s drunk. Again. So Shelby is driving Luke (8) and Macey (10) home to spend Christmas with her. Shelby is comfortable in her damsel in distress routine and Macey is kinda whingey so I wasn’t overly attached to their survival. However, I liked Luke; he’s determined and willing to do what he can to be brave in really scary situations.

Werner and Francine Volkmann have been around the country in their RV visiting relatives. They planned to see grandchildren in New Hampshire for Christmas but were behind schedule, so they’re joining the other potential popsicles on the highway.

Finally, Lewis Felker spent Christmas Eve freezing outside a department store ringing his Salvation Army bell, collecting donations. Sure, he stole some of the money to finance his alcoholism but in theory all of that alcohol in his bloodstream should keep him slightly warmer than everyone else. He’s also the one who seems to figure out how dire everyone’s situation is first so maybe he has a chance after all.

I had fun reading this book. I expected more bloodshed and less background information about all of the characters although, to be fair, the relevance of the details of their worst winter memories became apparent as the story unfolded. The reasoning behind why this was happening to this specific group of people seemed a bit flimsy to me but the images of those snowmen helped distract me from most of my lingering questions.

[No, this toothy guy doesn’t line up with the descriptions in the book but I loved him and wanted to share him with you.]

“Things aren’t always what they seem to be.”

The two main questions that are still nagging me:

  1. Why is a Christmas horror story being released in January?

2. What was inside the box in Tucker’s truck?

“Will Santa still come if we’re not home in time?”

Thank you so much to NetGalley and Flame Tree Press for the opportunity to read this book.

Rating: 4 out of 5.

Once Upon a Blurb

A group of motorists become stranded on a lonely stretch of highway during a Christmas Eve blizzard and fight for survival against an unnatural force in the storm. The gathered survivors realise a tenuous connection among them means it may not be a coincidence that they all ended up on this highway.

An attempt to seek help leads a few of the travellers to a house in the woods where a twisted toymaker with a mystical snow globe is hell bent on playing deadly games with a group of people just trying to get home for the holidays. 

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Rowan Slone #1: A Life, Redefined – Tracy Hewitt Meyer

Spoilers Ahead!

I’m hesitant to say too much about this book. I was looking forward to reading it but I had some significant problems with its content. I don’t want to come across as mean because that’s not my intent, but I also don’t want to ignore the issues I found.

There are multiple 4 and 5 star reviews so I would encourage you to read those as well before deciding if this is the book for you or not. I know you have your own mind and I don’t expect what I have to say will influence you either way but just in case: I would hate for you to miss out on a book you may love simply because I didn’t.

Rowan has been living with the knowledge that she was responsible for her baby brother’s death for seven years now. She’s not alone in blaming herself; her entire family blames her too. Her father is controlling and abusive. Her mother is emotionally unavailable, spending the majority of her time locked in her bedroom.

Being in this house, surrounded by memories, guilt, and resentment – all those devastating things made it impossible to see the bright side of anything.

Rowan’s younger sister, Trina, has a reputation, her best friend, Jess, is dating a 25 year old, and her boss, Dan, is a creep. She has a crush on Mike but doesn’t think she’s good enough for him.

I requested this book because I saw that self harm was going to be addressed. This topic is one that a lot of people are ashamed to admit they struggle with. Reactions from people who learn someone self harms can range from disbelief to outright shaming, so I applaud anyone willing to tackle it. There are several instances of a character self harming in this book so if this is a potential trigger for you, please take care of yourself while reading.

The majority of the women in this book were either fat shamed, slut shamed or portrayed as victims. The men seemed to either be saviours or perpetrators. Most of the characters felt two dimensional and the descriptions were quite repetitive.

The first time I found out Jess’ hair colour was cherry red I pictured it in my mind; after the fourth time I was keen to learn something new about her. Similarly repetitive but more offensive descriptions followed Rowan’s mother and sister. If Rowan’s mother was ever mentioned without a fat shaming comment attached it didn’t stand out enough for me to remember. Rowan’s sister was slut shamed throughout the book and her redeeming qualities, which I’m certain she had because we all have at least one, are a mystery to me.

Rowan’s traumatic experiences may account for some of this but it felt like I was reading about a main character who was 13 or 14, not a few weeks away from 18.

I tend to gravitate to YA books that include social issues but sometimes so many are mentioned that it can feel like social issue soup. A lot of really important themes were mentioned but I don’t think it’s possible to do all of them justice in such a short book. The sensitivity I expected to accompany such issues wasn’t always apparent.

I don’t understand why Aidan’s true cause of death wouldn’t have been obvious during his autopsy. I also had trouble believing that Rowan would forget the anniversary of her brother’s death. I would like some resolution about Trina’s story – did anyone ever offer her any help or compassion? I don’t care what’s she’s done – the response to her attempting suicide should never have been “Did it matter at all if my sister didn’t make it?”. I expect some of my unanswered questions will be addressed in the sequel but I don’t think I will be continuing this series.

Thank you so much to NetGalley and BHC Press for the opportunity to read this book.

Rating: 2.5 out of 5.

Once Upon a Blurb

When the darkness is too great,
When the pain is too real,
There is nothing but sharp edges,
Razor slices,
To remind me that I am alive. 

Seven years ago, an innocent act by Rowan Slone turned her life into a nightmare. Since the age of ten she’s lived with the burden of her baby brother’s death. Now she is seventeen and all she wants to do is graduate high school, go to college, and escape the loveless family she has endured all these years – the same family that holds her responsible for his death. But no one holds her responsible more than herself. 

When long-time crush Mike Anderson invites her to the Prom, suddenly her future looks brighter. Rowan’s younger sister, Trina, however, is determined to ruin her new-found happiness, no matter the cost. And when Rowan discovers her mother’s long-held secret, she finds herself teetering on the edge of an abyss. 

Can Rowan find the strength to move toward the future or is she doomed to dwell in the past?

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Malus Domestica #1: Burn the Dark – S.A. Hunt

Spoilers Ahead!

“The Red Lord will find you.”

Robin has a mohawk, a cherished fifteen year old stuffed mosquito called Mr. Nosy and a popular YouTube channel called ‘MalusDomestica’. Her subscribers think what they’re watching is fake, but it’s anything but. [If you’re wondering, ‘malus domestica’ is Latin for “the common apple tree”. You’ll learn the significance of this name during the book.]

Robin travels around the country in her van hunting witches. Robin’s father was convicted of killing her mother but Robin knows the witches were responsible. Now, after spending time in a psychiatric facility and subsequently honing her witch slaying skills, she’s returned home to Blackfield to face off with the local coven.

“You witches killed my mama!”

Witches. Demons. Ancient sigils. The quest for immortality. Cats that aren’t just cats. Murder. A pizza guy. A “big blond Viking dude”. Sound effects – “grum-grum-grum-grum”.

Before I began reading I saw several comparisons made between this book and Buffy, so I expected to witness a lot more slaying. Witches are dispatched of in flashbacks but I don’t recall any scenes where a witch meets their maker taking place in the present. I expect the sequel to well and truly make up for this.

A fair amount of time is spent on characters’ backstories and explanations of the supernatural aspects of the story. While it is well written I did spend a lot of the first half of the book anxious for some present day action scenes.

There were plenty of pop culture references in this book, from Batman to Indiana Jones and The Simpsons. Had I realised there would be so many of these references I would have made a list and asked other readers to let me know which ones I’d missed.

I liked most of the characters but the one that I was most interested in, Heinrich Hammer, Robin’s mentor, didn’t appear in person until the very end of the book. I’m looking forward to seeing them in action in the sequel.

Thank you so much to NetGalley and Tor Books for the opportunity to read this book.

Rating: 3.5 out of 5.

Once Upon a Blurb

Robin is a YouTube celebrity gone-viral with her intensely-realistic witch hunter series. But even her millions of followers don’t know the truth: her series isn’t fiction.

Her ultimate goal is to seek revenge against the coven of witches who wronged her mother long ago. Returning home to the rural town of Blackfield, Robin meets friends new and old on her quest for justice. But then, a mysterious threat known as the Red Lord interferes with her plans …

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Friday the 13th, Camp Crystal Lake #3: The Carnival – Eric Morse

Spoilers Ahead!

I’ve been waiting and waiting and Friday the 13th is finally here again!

You know what that means! It’s time to spend some quality time with Jason.

Except Jason’s a no show. Apparently he’s still enjoying his slaycation in hell because he doesn’t even make a cameo in this book.

His mask is still at Camp Crystal Lake though, ready for the next set of victims to arrive.

During the first two books we got to know the Boone family. Billy and his friends participated in Camp Crystal Lake’s Mother’s Day massacre. Then Kelly, Billy’s sister, decided it was her turn to experience all of the bloody fun she missed out on the year before. No Boone’s were harmed in the making of this book, although that may just be because there aren’t any left.

Vince Fantana’s Travelling Fun House and Carnival has come to Crystal Lake for the weekend of “the July Fourth blowout”. That probably should have been my first clue that I wasn’t going to enjoy this book as much as the first two in the series. A Crystal Lake massacre that occurs on a day other than Friday the 13th? Sacrilege!

I’m not sure what bright spark thought it was a good idea to set up a carnival on the grounds of Camp Crystal Lake, where the land is most likely still squishy with the blood of the most recent massacre. It’s a good thing sleazeball Vince surrounds his carnival with an electric fence, because that’s not a recipe for disaster or anything.

Some of the carnies who may not live to tell the tale are:

Mitch Deevers – Mitch is in his late 20’s and is the creepy chief mechanic for the carnival. He has tattoos of snakes and the names of all of his conquests on his arms.

Stump – Mitch’s rottweiler. Mitch chopped off his dog’s tail for some reason; hence the name.

Helen, AKA, Madame Xaviera – the carnival’s fortune teller.

Selena Tokar – Helen’s 17 year old daughter.

Molly Meecham – the carnival nurse and the freak show’s “Fat Lady”.

I also wouldn’t place bets on Stu, Karl, Big Joe, Peg O’Neill or Moe the clown living long enough to enjoy the midnight fireworks. I definitely wasn’t a fan of one of the carnies being referred to as a ”midget”.

Attending the carnival on this fateful night are a small group from Holloway, Massachusetts, which is only 30 miles from Crystal Lake. I mention its proximity as it’s close enough for them to have heard all about Camp Crystal Lake on the grapevine. They should know better than to tempt fate.

Our main character, who you will definitely not want to be a final girl, is Maxi (Maxine, but don’t call her that) Wagner. An only child with a troubled home life, Maxi is a shoplifter, hitchhiker and was caught smoking dope at school, which is why she’s a year older than the rest of her class. She’s angry and mean, and I’m not entirely sure why she still has any friends, given the way she treats them. She’s not a virgin so, if Horror 101 has taught us anything, she probably won’t survive.

Maxi is 17, tall, thin and beautiful, with “long legs that seemed to go all the way up to her head.” Of course, every time I imagine this potential victim running away from the killer I see this in my head:

Wendy (Wens) Denberg is 16, short and not pretty. That’s almost all that I know about her.

KC (Katherine Carter) is 16 and is sweet and polite. She’s a virgin and considers ‘sleazeball’ a swear word so you’d think she’d be safe, but going to the carnival was initially her idea so her virginity may not save her.

Greg Dillon is a senior from Hawthorn. His parents died in a car accident the day after his 13th birthday so in theory it would be cruel to kill him off. However, he has a huge crush on Maxi so his judgement is not the best. That may be his downfall.

All of these potential corpses have been attending summer school. Graham Newton, who’s 26 and British, goes to the carnival with the three girls. He’s their summer school English teacher. And that’s all I have to say about that.

Also ripe for the picking are Bernard LeBlatt (12), Nick Harris (13) and the Barfield family – James, Mrs (the poor woman doesn’t have a first name) and their three year old son, Bobby.

Liberties really are being taken with this series now. It’s Friday the 13th adjacent at best. While it was still an okay read I was disappointed overall. It takes a while for the action to begin. Early on we have our first casualty, a bug, but then we have to wait until 45% before the human carnage commences. RIP, little bug. Oh, and a rodent dies as well.

The most detailed death scenes seemed to be reserved for minor characters and I only learned of the demise of some of the main characters after the fact. The mask has retained its magical powers from the first two books; tattoos are also magic in this book.

The killer was a huge letdown for me. They couldn’t even take credit for a good portion of the kills. Instead the rides, which are essentially possessed by the invisible evil vapour that’s supposedly wafting up from the ground, and the electric fence are responsible for the most interesting ones.

From the a woman most likely wouldn’t have written this about a 17 year old schoolgirl files: “Naked, she was sitting on the edge of her bed, pressing a cold can of beer against her forehead.” When said 17 year old schoolgirl is in a bad mood it automatically means she must be getting her period. Naturally! There couldn’t be any other reason.

I’m hoping my next Friday the 13th read will be worth the wait.

Rating: 2.5 out of 5.

Once Upon a Blurb

Four teenagers looking for fun and thrills to break up the boredom of summer school get more than they had bargained for when they visit a traveling carnival that has pitched its tents at the old Crystal Lake campgrounds.

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Zog and the Flying Doctors – Julia Donaldson

Illustrations – Axel Scheffler

Spoilers Ahead!

I was introduced to Zog when I borrowed the short film from the library. After watching it twice I finally read the book, and Zog became my new favourite dragon. Naturally I then ordered the sequel from the library and bought my own copy of the film so I could watch it to my heart’s content.

I’ve been eagerly anticipating this read and I’m so disappointed that I was disappointed by it. At the end of the first book, Princess Pearl, Gadabout the Great and Zog head off on a new adventure. This book begins with the Flying Doctors living the life of their dreams. Pearl is finally a doctor, Gadabout is performing surgery and Zog is flying them from patient to patient.

They tend to a sunburnt mermaid, a unicorn with an extra horn and a lion who’s got the flu. Everything was going well and I was along for the ride … until Pearl is imprisoned by her uncle because, “Princesses can’t be doctors, silly girl!” The men (Gadabout and Zog) are then charged with trying to save this damsel in distress. It isn’t until Pearl diagnoses her uncle’s illness and cures him that he decides it’s acceptable for a Princess to be a doctor. As if she needed his permission! Released from captivity, Princess Pearl and her two male saviours (who, incidentally, tried to save her but didn’t) go off on their merry way, smiling and waving to the man who imprisoned her.

Nope, sorry. That’s not a book I’d want to read again or put in front of a child. The first book? No hesitation. I still absolutely love it. I just wish I’d stopped there and imagined for myself the wonderful adventures that were to come for the Flying Doctors.

I loved the illustrations in this book; they’re the reason I’m giving this book 3 stars instead of 2.

Rating: 3 out of 5.

Once Upon a Blurb

Meet the Flying Doctors: Princess Pearl, Sir Gadabout and, of course, their trusty ‘air ambulance’, Zog the dragon, as they fly around the country, tending to a sunburnt mermaid, a distressed unicorn, and even a sneezy lion.

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4MK Thriller #1: The Fourth Monkey – J.D. Barker

Spoilers Ahead!

We are going to have such fun, you and I.

I’m having a bit of a bad run at the moment, disappointed by books I’ve eagerly anticipated for a long time. This series has been on my radar for two and a half years. I purchased two books and was fortunate enough to obtain a copy of the third from NetGalley. I was really looking forward to a series binge but 20% into this book I was dragging my feet and asking, ‘Are we done yet?’

Fortunately the second half of the book picked up for me but I’m still not entirely convinced I want to spend more time with the main characters. Because I requested a review copy of the third book I will continue the series and am hoping to be blown away but right now I’m looking at all of the glowing reviews for this book and wondering what I missed.

Seven victims. Three boxes each. Twenty-one. Twenty-one boxes over nearly five years. He had toyed with them. Never left a clue behind. Only the boxes. A ghost.

Porter and his team have been tasked with finding the Four Monkey Killer. When a body is found, along with the killer’s latest box, it’s a race against the clock to find the latest victim.

She knew of the Four Monkey Killer. Everyone in Chicago did, possibly everyone in the entire world. Not just that he was a serial killer, but the way he first tortured his victims before killing them, mailing body parts back to their families.

There are multiple chapters from the perspectives of Porter, Clair (one of the other detectives), the latest victim and the killer but I only noticed two distinct voices, the pretentious serial killer

Sometimes I ramble

(You sure do, Mr 4MK) and everyone else. Porter, Clair and the latest victim all sounded alike to me. I didn’t connect with any of the characters and I’d be hard pressed to tell you much about anyone’s personality.

I liked the idea of a serial killer using the concept of the four monkeys to choose their victims.

The four monkeys comes from the Tosho-gu Shrine in Nikko, Japan, where a carving of three apes resides above the entrance. The first covering his ears, the second covering his eyes, and the third covering his mouth, they depict the proverb “Hear no evil, see no evil, speak no evil.” The fourth monkey represents “Do no evil.”

[Huh! I just noticed the picture I found of the Shrine have the second and third monkeys in a different order. Go figure!]

Some of the scenes described in the killer’s diary were a bit too far fetched for me. I know there are as many different types of dysfunction as there are dysfunctional families, so who knows? Maybe somewhere out there is a family who closely resembles this one. I hope I never meet them!

Because it was so outrageous I found their topsy turvy moral compass funny at times. Do not swear, do not say bad things about other people, do not steal, and treat women with dignity and respect were some of the rules, yet at the same time it was completely acceptable to torture and murder people.

There were some fairly gory scenes in this book, and rats. Many, many rats. These didn’t worry me but they may put off some readers.

While I didn’t hate this book (it definitely did get better in the second half for me) I don’t think I’m going to remember much of it. Actually, while I was writing this review not even 24 hours after finishing the book it occurred to me that I couldn’t remember what happened in the end. Sure, I remembered a couple of key events in the final few chapters but I had to go back and check the last couple of pages. That’s really unusual for me.

I would encourage you to read some ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ reviews as well before deciding if this is the book for you or not. So many people absolutely love it. I wish I was one of them.

Rating: 3 out of 5.

Once Upon a Blurb

For over five years, the Four Monkey Killer has terrorized the residents of Chicago. When his body is found, the police quickly realise he was on his way to deliver one final message, one which proves he has taken another victim who may still be alive.

As the lead investigator on the 4MK task force, Detective Sam Porter knows even in death, the killer is far from finished. When he discovers a personal diary in the jacket pocket of the body, Porter finds himself caught up in the mind of a psychopath, unraveling a twisted history in hopes of finding one last girl, all while struggling with personal demons of his own.

With only a handful of clues, the elusive killer’s identity remains a mystery. Time is running out and the Four Monkey Killer taunts from beyond the grave in this masterfully written fast-paced thriller.

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Rules for Vanishing – Kate Alice Marshall

Spoilers Ahead!

FIND THE ROAD. FIND THE GATES. FIND THE GIRL.

That was one seriously compulsive read! I just-one-more-chaptered my way through this book and I’m left feeling slightly panicked, knowing I almost didn’t read it at all. Too many books arrived at the library at once so some will have to be sent back unread. I know me and if they are returned unread, no matter how noble my intentions, they will disappear into the ‘I’m going to read that one day’ void.

It was only because this book was almost due and someone else wanted it so I was unable to renew it that I gave it a try. I’m so glad I did because it was so much better than I hoped, but I’m now thinking about all of the other books I could be getting to know and am having bookish anxiety about all of the potential winners that may slip through my grasp. I need to read all the books!

All I hear are the last words my sister spoke, muttering into her phone. On April 18, one year ago. We know where the road is. We’ve got the keys. That’s all we need to find her. I’m not backing down now. Not after everything we’ve done to get this close.

Everyone in Briar Glen, MA knows the legend of Lucy Gallows. On 19 April, 1953, 15 year old Lucy Callow (yep, her name morphed a little during the creation of the legend) went missing in the forest. Legend says that one day each year a path appears in the forest. This time last year Sara’s sister, Becca, disappeared.

On 17 April, 2017, every Briar Glen High School student received the text message.

DO YOU WANT TO KNOW WHERE LUCY WENT? SHE WENT TO PLAY THE GAME. YOU CAN PLAY, TOO. FIND A PARTNER. FIND A KEY. FIND THE ROAD. YOU HAVE TWO DAYS.

Sara is determined to find her sister and in two days she will play the game. Joined by eight others, Sara will seek out “The Massachusetts Ghost Road”.

I know Becca didn’t run away. That leaves one possibility and one impossibility, and I long for the impossible. Because if she isn’t dead, if she’s only been taken, she can be brought back.

13 steps.
7 gates.
9 potential victims players.

“Don’t break the rules. Bad things happen when you break the rules.”

This book includes interviews, written testimony, emails, transcripts of messages, phone calls and videos, descriptions of photos and other evidence pertinent to file number 74 of The Ashford Files. Naturally, because this was file 74, I wanted unrestricted access to all of the preceding files as well as any that have been created since.

Sometimes narratives that rely on multiple formats to tell the story cause me to disconnect from both its characters and storyline, but here it completely sucked me in. I kept finding myself planning on putting the book down at the end of a chapter of written testimony, only to need to read the transcript that followed, which then made me need to read the following chapter to see how it all fit together. Compulsive and so much fun!

There are things I am not supposed to tell you. There are things I don’t remember. There are things I don’t know.

I couldn’t get enough information about the gates and the paths between them. At times I got the sense I was experiencing what I expect a hallucinogen would feel like. As I read I kept thinking that I would love to see these strange visuals outside of my imagination and was thrilled to read an article that told me there’s going to be a movie! I can’t wait to see it!

“But the monsters aren’t the only thing you have to be afraid of here.”

My main frustration showed up right at the end of the book; I definitely need to know what it was that Miranda gave to Ashford. Hopefully the movie or perhaps another book detailing another Ashford File will give me this much needed closure.

While I read a library copy of this book I definitely foresee a copy of my own and a reread in the not too distant future.

“lt’s coming.”

Rating: 5 out of 5.

Once Upon a Blurb

In the faux-documentary style of The Blair Witch Project comes the campfire story of a missing girl, a vengeful ghost, and the girl who is determined to find her sister – at all costs.

Once a year, the path appears in the forest and Lucy Gallows beckons. Who is brave enough to find her – and who won’t make it out of the woods?

It’s been exactly one year since Sara’s sister, Becca, disappeared, and high school life has far from settled back to normal. With her sister gone, Sara doesn’t know whether her former friends no longer like her … or are scared of her, and the days of eating alone at lunch have started to blend together.

When a mysterious text message invites Sara and her estranged friends to “play the game” and find local ghost legend Lucy Gallows, Sara is sure this is the only way to find Becca – before she’s lost forever. And even though she’s hardly spoken with them for a year, Sara finds herself deep in the darkness of the forest, her friends – and their cameras – following her down the path. Together, they will have to draw on all of their strengths to survive. The road is rarely forgiving, and no one will be the same on the other side. 

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