Unicorns – Schizanthus Nerd

The Butcher of the Forest – Premee Mohamed

Veris is wearing her pyjamas when she’s given a quest by the conqueror of her land. She needs to find his children. Or else.

“If you do not recover my children your village will be razed to the ground and burnt, and we will roast your people alive upon it and eat them.”

So, no pressure. I suppose they don’t call him the Tyrant for nothing.

It’s not like the north woods are dangerous or anything…

“They told us no one ever gets out.”

I appreciated that Veris isn’t a spring chicken when we meet her, not that pushing 40 is old by any stretch of the imagination. She’s already done the impossible so she’s bringing knowledge hard won by experience. She’s also bringing traumatic memories she didn’t have the last time she stepped into the woods.

I’m a huge fan of body horror so that sat well with me. I encountered a number of oddities in the north woods, my favourite of which were the guardians.

I enjoyed this read but I’m left wanting more. Details about Elmever: its history, its inhabitants, why it is the way it is. The full story of Veris’ first time there. The backstory of the Tyrant, because you know he has to have a backstory to become … that. I also wanted to get to know Eleonor and Aram better.

I’m sure I’ll get some of this in the sequel. There’s absolutely going to be a sequel. It’s been set up so there’s really no other option.

I’m keen to read it but part of me is frustrated too. I wish this had been a novel instead, one that fleshed this story out some more and provided a conclusion. My need to know is trumping my frustration, though, so I’ll definitely be there for the sequel.

“I’m ready to go back to … to the woods.”

Thank you so much to NetGalley and Titan Books for the opportunity to read this novella.

Once Upon a Blurb

At the northern edge of a valley ruled by a ruthless foreign tyrant lies a wild forest, home to otherworldly creatures and dangerous magic. The local people know never to enter — for no one who strays into the north woods is ever seen again. No one, that is, except Veris Thorn.

When the children of the Tyrant vanish into the wood, Veris is summoned to rescue them. She has only one day before the creatures of the forest claim the children for their own. If she fails, her punishment will be swift and merciless.

To stand a chance of surviving the wood, Veris must evade traps and trickery, ancient monsters and false friends, and the haunting memory of her last journey into the forest.

Time is running short. One misstep will cost everything.

1 February, 202420 December, 2024 by Schizanthus Nerd Categories: ReviewTags: 4 stars, Book, Book Review, Horror, NetGalley, Novella, Sexual Assault, Titan Books, Unicorns

Phoebe and Her Unicorn #18: Unicorn for a Day – Dana Simpson

I devoured the first 15 Phoebe and Her Unicorn graphic novels and then experienced a unicorn drought. I was relieved to find this one, quickly followed by the horror of realising I’d missed two collections entirely.

Now I’m all caught up and as a reward I was granted references to Ghostbusters, Scooby Doo and Jaws. I’m not sure if the target audience will be familiar with all of these but I was happy to find them here.

I was also given the gift of a new favourite Marigold look. Her Big Puppy Dog Eyes of Persuasion spell gives her manga eyes. I love manga eyes! Now I want her to always have a mohawk and manga eyes.

Phoebe hypnotises Marigold. Sort of. Phoebe and Marigold discuss insecurity. Marigold is more expressive than usual.

Marigold discovers the downside of forgetting spells and Phoebe discovers the downside of healing magic.

Phoebe and Marigold decide to swap lives, like that horror movie The Unicorn Who Humiliatingly Debased Herself.

Dakota solves a mystery with some help from Marigold and Max looks up from his phone (briefly). The new kid at school reminds Phoebe of someone.

Phoebe’s parents, who deserve more page time, find out that a previously beloved TV show has not aged well. Marigold teaches Phoebe about the Big Bang Theory, the theory, not the TV show.

We meet Glorpie, who is adorable and needs to find their way into future collections.

I’ll be on the lookout for the next collection so there aren’t any more unicorn droughts in my life.

Thank you so much to Edelweiss and Andrews McMeel Publishing for the opportunity to read this graphic novel.

Once Upon a Blurb

Being best friends with a unicorn is truly incredible, as 9-year-old Phoebe Howell knows from experience. But what would it be like to actually trade places with a magical unicorn for a day? As it turns out, it’s much harder than it looks! Phoebe’s botched muffin spell turns the sky plaid. And things aren’t any easier for Marigold Heavenly Nostrils, who has no idea how to hold a pencil. In this new collection of Phoebe and Her Unicorn comics, the friends also meet a three-eyed flying creature named Glorpie and encounter an enigmatic ghost. With magic, discoveries, and even a bit of drama, there’s never a dull moment in Unicorn for a Day.

29 September, 20234 October, 2023 by Schizanthus Nerd Categories: ReviewTags: 4 stars, Andrews McMeel Publishing, Edelweiss, Graphic Novel, Phoebe and Her Unicorn, Unicorns

Phoebe and Her Unicorn #17: Punk Rock Unicorn – Dana Simpson

Okay, so Marigold with a mohawk isn’t something I thought I needed in my life but now that I’ve seen it, I want her to keep this look forever.

Other than the awesomeness that is punk Marigold, we meet a bunch of new unicorns, including Prince Aspirational Arrogance, whose presence we absolutely need to bask in.

Phoebe explains nerdiness to Dakota.

I’m a nerd. Everything I SAY is a nerdy thing to say.

We discuss whether graphic novels count as books. Let me clear this up for you… they absolutely do.

Marigold’s distraction hat is very distracting. And definitely more tasty than her contemplation hat.

There’s a portal to a dark reality. A really dark reality.

Phoebe tries out for the school play and Marigold embraces her inner snail. Phoebe ups her procrastination game.

Phoebe goes to music camp and Sue is there. I love Sue!

Phoebe’s concentration face is one of my new favourite things. She’s so relatable.

There’s also a plot twist.

After feeling like I was going over old ground in the last collection, this one felt fresh and new and sparkly. I’m not entirely sure why a nine year old needs to be having their first kiss but other than that weirdness, I loved this collection.

Once Upon a Blurb

Phoebe Howell and her unicorn best friend, Marigold Heavenly Nostrils, are headed to music camp for the summer, where they form a punk rock group with fellow campers Sue and Stevie. Marigold also discovers a portal to a parallel dimension where she and Phoebe come face-to-face with the dark and sinister versions of themselves. Throughout their magical and musical adventures, the best friends learn about the value of friendship, following your heart, and rocking your hardest in this sparkling new collection of Phoebe and Her Unicorn comics by award-winning author Dana Simpson.

29 September, 2023 by Schizanthus Nerd Categories: ReviewTags: 4.5 stars, Andrews McMeel Publishing, Graphic Novel, Phoebe and Her Unicorn, Unicorns

Phoebe and Her Unicorn #16: Unicornado – Dana Simpson

Now that Marigold has been hanging out with her human, Phoebe, for so long, Phoebe’s home is now a magical sylvan glen. This means there’s pixies and sometimes Phoebe will be able to understand the deep philosophical squarks of birds.

There is a downside to this, with the distinct possibility that it’s going to take longer to receive their pizza delivery.

Max looks up from his phone long enough to play chess with Phoebe. Phoebe and Marigold explore a corn maze.

We go back to school with Phoebe, and human and unicorn dress up for Halloween. Phoebe and Marigold discuss tail ornamentation and resolutions. Phoebe goes to her first school dance. Sort of.

I always look forward to catching up with Phoebe and Marigold. Max and Dakota made a couple of appearances each and Phoebe’s dad managed to sneak in a dad joke.

There weren’t as many chuckles for me on this collection. They can’t all be favourites, though. I’m still enjoying the series as a whole and am interested in finding out what’s next.

Once Upon a Blurb

A new school year means many things for nine-year-old Phoebe Howell and her unicorn best friend, Marigold Heavenly Nostrils. They prepare for a school dance (lame!), meet new friends (ghosts and gnomes and goblins, OH MY!), and even experience a rare supernatural phenomenon called a Unicornado! In fact, sometimes things get almost too magical. Marigold’s presence attracts pixies, talking birds, and a sphinx, turning Phoebe’s house into a magical sylvan glen. And Marigold even briefly transforms Phoebe into a goblin. Whether they’re trick-or-treating, singing showtunes, or casting new spells, every day for Phoebe and Marigold is an adventure thanks to the power of friendship.

28 September, 2023 by Schizanthus Nerd Categories: ReviewTags: 3.5 stars, Andrews McMeel Publishing, Graphic Novel, Phoebe and Her Unicorn, Unicorns

The Last Unicorn – Peter S. Beagle

“You have all the power you need, if you dare to look for it.”

I feel like I’ve personally failed this book. Hailed as one of the best fantasy books of all time and the unicorn book, this was a highly anticipated read for me.

I spent the first half of the book trying to figure out what I was missing because my mindset was very much one of are we there yet? I put it down for a couple of weeks before trying again. I don’t know whether it was a case of me putting the book down about two pages too early or I wasn’t in the right frame of mind the first time I picked it up but I began to see what all the fuss was about from the moment I met the Red Bull.

While it never made it into the hallowed realm of favourite reads for me, I can see why it has for so many others. There are memorable characters, a quest, heroism, some very quotable moments and, of course, a unicorn, possibly the very last one.

I expect this is the kind of book that embeds itself deeper into your heart the more times you revisit it.

Thank you so much to NetGalley and Gollancz, an imprint of Orion Publishing Group, for the opportunity to read this book.

Once Upon a Blurb

She was magical, beautiful beyond belief – and completely alone…

The unicorn had lived since before memory in a forest where death could touch nothing. Maidens who caught a glimpse of her glory were blessed by enchantment they would never forget. But outside her wondrous realm, dark whispers and rumours carried a message she could not ignore: “Unicorns are gone from the world.”

Aided by a bumbling magician and an indomitable spinster, she set out to learn the truth, but she feared even her immortal wisdom meant nothing in a world where a mad king’s curse and terror incarnate lived only to stalk the last unicorn to her doom…

25 August, 202225 August, 2022 by Schizanthus Nerd Categories: ReviewTags: 4 stars, Gollancz, Hachette, NetGalley, Orion Publishing Group, Unicorns

Phoebe and Her Unicorn #15: Unicorn Selfies – Dana Simpson

This collection begins with Marigold and Phoebe attending the unveiling of their brand new clubhouse, which wouldn’t be complete if they weren’t pixie punked. Now the clubhouse is finished, all they need to do is figure out what kind of club they are.

A good portion of this collection focuses on Marigold preparing for and attending her family reunion. Phoebe and Marigold attend the reunion in style because unicorn and once there Marigold catches up with some familiar faces. She also meets some of her family for the first time.

When the reunion is not the focus, Marigold makes Phoebe’s problems disappear and Phoebe helps Marigold with her self help book. Marigold’s shadow goes to the dark side and a conspiracy theory is tested.

In keeping with the honour that is being Marigold’s best friend, Marigold bestows upon Phoebe her unicorn name. This is also the collection where we learn the number 5 is a dragon called Jim who “rains death from above”.

Phoebe’s powers of observation are called into question.

More than once.

Because so much time was spent in the lead up to and attendance of Marigold’s family reunion, there wasn’t quite as much variety in this collection. I enjoyed finally getting to meet more of Marigold’s family but I missed Dakota, who was only mentioned in passing. Max also only had a small part to play.

I always enjoy hanging out with Marigold and Phoebe, “knower of unicorn secrets”. I’m looking forward to the next collection already.

Book in a book: Phoebe reads The Neverending Story. I also attempted to read this as a nine year old but couldn’t understand at the time why the book didn’t replicate the movie exactly, not realising the book came first. Note to self: finish reading The Neverending Story.

Thank you so much to NetGalley and Andrews McMeel Publishing for the opportunity to read this graphic novel.

Once Upon a Blurb

Phoebe Howell and her best friend, the dazzling unicorn Marigold Heavenly Nostrils, have all kinds of exciting things planned for the summer. Their adventures include constructing a secret clubhouse with Phoebe’s friend Max (enlisting the help of some magic pixies along the way) and preparing for a trip to Marigold’s unicorn family reunion. Along the way, readers will meet all kinds of new characters, learn what magic spells are best avoided, and have all kinds of sparkling unicorn fun.

20 February, 2022 by Schizanthus Nerd Categories: ReviewTags: 4 stars, Andrews McMeel Publishing, Graphic Novel, NetGalley, Phoebe and Her Unicorn, Unicorns

Phoebe and Her Unicorn #14: Unicorn Playlist – Dana Simpson

With the adult world intruding on her, Phoebe is having a sad day. We all need a unicorn best friend right now and fortunately for Phoebe, she has Marigold Heavenly Nostrils. Marigold regales Phoebe with stories of the time when unicorns ruled the Earth, how The Pointy Express preceded horn wi-fi and her time at Sparkle Academy.

Phoebe and Marigold discover they have different tastes in music, which causes no conflict at all.

Eventually they find a song that they both like.

The Goblin Queen challenges Dakota to a popularity contest. Phoebe explains the Magical Christmas Loophole to Marigold, after getting over her Christmas anticipointment. Phoebe teaches Marigold about distraction.

Max and Phoebe exchange Valentines. Phoebe has lunch with Dakota and her friends.

Marigold makes a Formal Declaration of Resolution to learn more about her family. We meet one of her cousins, Infernus, the Unicorn of Death. They’re not as scary as they sound. I’m looking forward to attending Marigold’s family reunion with her and Phoebe in a future collection.

Thank you so much to NetGalley and Andrews McMeel Publishing for the opportunity to read this graphic novel.

Once Upon a Blurb

Best friends Phoebe Howell and Marigold Heavenly Nostrils march to their own beat, but life isn’t all rainbows and unicorns. With so many problems in the world and drama at school, Phoebe wonders why unicorns aren’t in charge instead of humans. With Marigold, each day is full of magic, from introducing Phoebe to unicorn music to crashing a goblin popularity contest, and even tracking down long-lost family members like Infernus, the Unicorn of Death (who ends up being surprisingly adorable). In Unicorn Playlist, Phoebe and Marigold play all the hits.

29 August, 2021 by Schizanthus Nerd Categories: ReviewTags: 4 stars, Andrews McMeel Publishing, Graphic Novel, NetGalley, Phoebe and Her Unicorn, Unicorns 1 Comment

Phoebe and Her Unicorn #13: Unicorn Famous – Dana Simpson

After having a best friend who’s a unicorn for quite a while now, Phoebe discovers that unicorns have become popular and she’s not sure whether she’s okay with that or not. I, too, was into unicorns before they were cool so I understand where Phoebe is coming from.

Marigold employs her skills as a tooth fairy negotiator. Like all parents do, whether they want to admit it or not, Phoebe’s dad attempts to customise her. Phoebe and Marigold enjoy a day out at the water park.

Dakota receives a Blarty Award but she’s not entirely sure what the award is for since she doesn’t speak goblin. Marigold proves she has great taste in movies.

Dakota and Phoebe settle on being kind of friends. Phoebe makes her own Halloween costume without any magical unicorn assistance.

And my personal favourite, Claustrophoebea and Pointyhead make another long overdue appearance.

I can’t believe I still love this series so much! This is the thirteenth time I’ve been allowed to see what lies beneath the Shield of Boringness and I’d hang out with Marigold and her human, Phoebe, again tomorrow if Marigold was inclined to magic up the fourteenth graphic novel by then.

There’s a great blend of comics that explore things we already know in a new way, like Marigold’s obsession with her reflection, and entirely new, very important unicorn related information.

Unicorn sneers will make 62% of your freckles fall off.

We also discover what’s to blame for us not being able to get negative comments out of our heads. It was peanut butter all along. Who would have suspected something that’s seemingly innocuous was capable of something so dastardly?!

Thank you so much to NetGalley and Andrews McMeel Publishing for the opportunity to fall in love with this graphic novel early.

Once Upon a Blurb

When your best friend is a unicorn, every day is a stroll down the red carpet. Phoebe Howell’s unicorn BFF, Marigold Heavenly Nostrils, is happy to provide the celebrity treatment – teaching Phoebe fancy new spells, giving her a ride to school so she doesn’t have to ride the bus, and even negotiating with the tooth fairy on her behalf.

But when Phoebe starts noticing that unicorns have become a trendy fashion statement, she doesn’t feel quite so unique. Fortunately, she’s distracted by adventures including a visit to the unicorn community and a trip to the woods to see her friend Dakota receive an unusual honour at the goblin award ceremony. Unicorn Famous is filled with amusing examples of the extraordinary lengths friends will go to make each other feel special.

1 March, 2021 by Schizanthus Nerd Categories: ReviewTags: 5 stars, Andrews McMeel Publishing, Graphic Novel, NetGalley, Phoebe and Her Unicorn, Unicorns 1 Comment

Phoebe and Her Unicorn #12: Virtual Unicorn Experience – Dana Simpson

It’s no secret how much I love this series. There are unicorns, magic and nerds. What’s not to love?! Although it’s technically a series for kids, this adult finds it delightful. The friendship between this unicorn and her nerd is really sweet, full of mutual admiration, laughter and a healthy dose of sarcasm.

In this collection we learn that Marigold floats when she’s complimented. As she fishes for compliments a lot I would have thought we’d already know about the floating but this is new information for both Phoebe and me.

Phoebe learns the Unicorn Investigative Agency has her under surveillance. The solution? A sparkle transfusion! Of course, this doesn’t exactly go to plan.

Phoebe finds out what life without a phone is like. Marigold attends an audition and it’s Phoebe’s job to distract her until she finds out the result. Phoebe enjoys one of life’s pleasures – falling asleep to the sound of rain.

We learn that Marigold has a magical pocket dimension, which could be the answer to all of your storage needs. Phoebe performs in a talent show and Marigold has jury duty. We discover that Marigold went through a goth phase.

My favourite chuckle was when Marigold showed us how good she looks in pink.

I enjoyed seeing a couple of different sides to Dakota. I was disappointed by the comics that included Max though. His character has so much potential but he wasn’t given a lot to do in this collection.

Thank you so much to NetGalley and Andrews McMeel Publishing for the opportunity to read this graphic novel.

Once Upon a Blurb

Marigold Heavenly Nostrils is one magical unicorn – and she knows it! But sometimes it’s harder for humans like Phoebe to understand that they can be magical, too. In the latest Phoebe and Her Unicorn adventure, the pair visits the science museum, tests out an extra-special virtual unicorn reality, and performs in the school talent show. With the help of her best friend and an emergency sparkle transfusion, Phoebe learns about confidence, empathy, and resilience – and even how to live without her cellphone. It’s all part of the very real excitement of Virtual Unicorn Experience.

20 August, 2020 by Schizanthus Nerd Categories: ReviewTags: 4 stars, Andrews McMeel Publishing, Graphic Novel, NetGalley, Phoebe and Her Unicorn, Unicorns 1 Comment

Xander and the Rainbow-Barfing Unicorns #6: Who Turned Off the Colours? – Matthew K. Manning

Illustrations – Joey Ellis

So, here we are at the end of this series. After my initial delight at the strange concept and the fun I had visiting a couple of other dimensions, I’m finishing the series disappointed.

Xander has somehow caught the virus that made his unicorn friends zombies. I’m not sure why it’s taken so long for this to happen or why it happens at the same time to all of the people who have interacted with the unicorns, regardless of when they watched the magic show.

Xander and the other humans have different symptoms to the unicorns. Instead of vomiting rainbows, they lose all of their colours. Even their clothing turns grey. It’s up to Xander, Cradie, Blep and Ronk to figure out a way to restore colour to the humans.

I had a whole bunch of questions throughout the series that I was looking forward to having answered when I made it to the final book. I didn’t get a single question answered.

The lack of attention to detail in the series really bugs me now. It was always something I noticed but it began to impact on my enjoyment of the series in book five.

This time around the main problem I had related to the central plot. So, Xander has lost his colours.

In fact, his skin was grey, his hair was a darker grey. Even his clothing was grey!

Two pages later …

He was wearing a bright purple onesie, but he was too worried to be embarrassed.

Seven pages after that …

Xander’s onesie is purple, his bunny slippers (which are certainly cute) are pink and the inside of his mouth isn’t grey either! Kids notice inconsistencies like these. It makes me wonder if the publisher lost interest in this series as it progressed.

Until book five, whenever Ronk said, “Ronk!” the word was always green and in a different font; in the final two books it’s blue for some reason. Cradie and Blep have also previously had colours specific to them when they vomit rainbows. These are also blue in this book. Later in the book there are places where the text is entirely normal. I would have thought this was clever if it related to Xander but the unicorns didn’t lose their colours in this book.

At the end of this book there’s a glossary, barf words (these have been the same in each book), jokes and a character spotlight where you learn more about Xander.

Up next: Start figuring out next year’s 🦄 Unicorn Day! 🦄 read/s.

Once Upon a Blurb

The Rainbow-Barfing Unicorn virus hasn’t infected humans … until now! In this adventure, twelve-year-old Xander contracts the mysterious virus of the Rainbow-Barfing Unicorns. The virus gives the unicorns their barfing abilities, but it’s having the opposite effect on Xander – it’s draining him of any colour at all! Xander’s fate lies in the hands – er, hooves – of Ronk, the most dimwitted of all Rainbow-Barfing Unicorns. This is not good. In fact, this is bad – really, really bad.

Plump-full of grotesquely delightful characters and fantastical realms, Xander and the Rainbow-Barfing Unicorns is so epic it’ll make you wanna puke.

10 April, 2020 by Schizanthus Nerd Categories: ReviewTags: 2.5 stars, Capstone, Raintree, Unicorns, Xander and the Rainbow-Barfing Unicorns