Author: Schizanthus Nerd

Dying Breath – Helen Phifer

I write this knowing full well I’m surrounded by 5 star reviews so please file this in your 🚨 Danger, Will Robinson! Unpopular Opinions Ahead! 🚨 category.

I’m so conflicted about Dying Breath. By the time I’d finished the first chapter I’d searched Amazon for the first book in the series. By chapter five I no longer wanted to read it and wondered if I’d even make it through this book. By halfway through I wanted to read the first one again. Then partway through the second half I no longer wanted to and could have DNF’ed it (and would have if I hadn’t committed to reviewing it). Now? I honestly don’t know.

Before I go any further, a word of warning. If you plan on reading this series I highly recommend reading them in order. During the course of this book I learned the name of book 1’s killer and what happened to them, so any suspense I would have had if I decide to read The Lost Children has gone bye byes.

What mostly ruined any potential for suspense for me in Dying Breath was that the blurb gave away way too much. Before reading the first sentence of this book I knew how the first two victims were going to die and I knew that this was a copycat killer using infamous serial killers as their inspiration. While reading I kept waiting for the cops to work this out and it takes until after 70% for this to happen. Had I not known that the killer was copying famous murder scenes I imagine I would have wondered along with the police and there would have been some satisfaction upon uncovering the truth instead of me muttering, “Finally!” under my breath.

I enjoyed reading about the killer’s upbringing and pivotal moments in their life that influenced their development down the dark, twisty murder path. The sections from their perspective were my favourite scenes and I wanted more of those.

Part of my problem is that I always compare books in this genre to Tess Gerritsen’s Rizzoli & Isles series. I love the banter between the characters. I love the intricacies of the murders and subsequent investigations. I love the baddies with their own backstories and foibles. I love that the ‘minor’ characters are so well thought out that you feel like you know them as well and can figure out who’s speaking without an “X said”.

Knowing that this is what I’m looking for, here are some of my observations about this book:

  • The banter between characters – there wasn’t the ease in conversations that comes with people who have worked together and seen each other at their best and worst. I didn’t feel like I was being included in inside jokes or that there really were any.
  • I actually found some of the conversations too polite (“I prefer to believe it’s because you’re so good at your job.”) and others cringeworthy (“Aren’t we lucky that we’re all so bloody good at working this stuff out and catching the bad guys and girls.”)
  • No one seemed to have a specific ‘voice’. I couldn’t tell who was who from the way they spoke and sometimes I didn’t even know who was speaking after I was told their name because there wasn’t a personality, quirk or feature I could attach to some of the characters to be able to tell them apart for a long time.
  • The characters didn’t have the confidence in their abilities that I would have liked to have seen. “Catherine smiled at Lucy, making her feel a whole lot better. If the doctor thought she was on to something, there was a good chance she really was. She didn’t often agree with anyone.” And another. “Is that okay?”
  • Some of the wording was awkward. “It’s not for me to say for definite.”
  • The main character’s controlling is he or isn’t he boyfriend. “She wasn’t sure whether she was flattered by his persistence or annoyed that he hadn’t taken any notice of her telling him she wasn’t interested.” Please, girl, grow some self esteem!
  • Apparently in Brooklyn Bay the ambulance service are seriously underfunded. “One of the paramedics looked up at Mattie. ‘We need to get him to the hospital now but we both need to work on him – is there someone to drive the ambulance.’” Ooh! Pick me!

There was a sentence in Chapter 21 that gave away who the murderer was. There were red herrings but I’d already fixated on this person. The murderer takes pride in everything being absolutely perfect, well planned and executed. However, there’s one murder in particular that they don’t copy exactly because they don’t want to have to deal with the clean up of blood. Don’t just not stab the person. If you want to be a copycat you either stab the person and deal with the blood or choose another murder to copy that doesn’t involve so much blood.

For most of the murders it’s vital that the victim matches the original one as closely as possible. Then there’s a murder where it doesn’t matter to the killer if the victim is male or female. With the personality of the killer and their meticulous planning, these things are simply incongruent. So, did we catch the murderer because of our brilliant logic, deductive reasoning and pure brilliance? Nope, we found them by accident.

My favourite character was Toby’s nan. She may have only been in a few pages but that woman has attitude, grit and I loved her. You don’t need to feature in a book to be memorable to me. I just want people to have distinct personalities.

Just a few burning unresolved questions …

  • What happens to Mal? Did what Lucy tell him make things better or worse for him?
  • What eventually happens to the murderer? The end of the book just cut off before that character was resolved enough for me.

After all of this it may sound like I hated this book. I didn’t. It’s just it had so much potential and with some further editing it could have been a superstar, so I’m mostly disappointed by what could have been. I still enjoyed reading it. There were times I could forget about my question marks and simply enjoy the ride but not as often or as long as I would’ve liked. I’m still thinking about whether I’ll read the first book or not. I’m interested in reading the next instalment because despite what I’ve said above I do believe there is a gem to be found here. It just needs to be polished.

Thank you so much to NetGalley and Bookouture for the opportunity to read this book.

Rating: 3 out of 5.

Once Upon a Blurb

Take a breath. Pray it’s not your last.  

Just a few months after a terrifying case that nearly took her life, Detective Lucy Harwin is back with her squad in the coastal town of Brooklyn Bay – and this time, she’s faced with a case more horrifying than anything she’s encountered. 

Along with her partner, Detective Mattie Jackson, Lucy is investigating what appears to be a vicious but isolated murder; a woman found bludgeoned to death on a lonely patch of wasteland. 

But when a second victim is discovered strangled in an alleyway, then a young family shot in their own home, Lucy and the team must face the unthinkable reality – a killer is walking the streets of their town. 

While Lucy and the team try to find the link between these seemingly unconnected murders, they uncover a disturbing truth – these murders are replicating those carried out by infamous serial killers. 

Lucy must get to the killer before he strikes again. But he’s got his sights on her, and is getting ever closer … Can she save herself, before she becomes the final piece in his twisted game? 

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Look for Ladybug in Plant City – Katherina Manolessou

Daisy’s pet Ladybird has decided to play a game of hide-and-seek. Daisy enlists the help of the best detective in Plant City, Basil, to help find him. They search the school, train station, museum, fun fair, restaurant, garden centre, a concert, hospital, riverbank and market. Along the way they find many other animals doing fun activities including a skateboarding crocodile and items such as a picture of a pineapple.

The illustrations were colourful and jam packed with activity. Kids will enjoy spending time searching the pages for animals doing cute and funny things. This book is the first in a planned series and it definitely has potential but I think it could have been more interactive.

I had expected the book to ask the reader/seeker to find more things. As the front cover boasts that there are over 500 things to find I was surprised that each scene only required on average three things to be found. Perhaps additional items to find could have been listed at the back of the book, along the lines of, “Well done! You’ve found Ladybird and some of the residents of Plant City. Can you also find …” and then maybe list some more things to find in each scene.

I know kids can find their own items in the scenes and adults can ask a kid if they can see something but most of the fun of this sort of book is having a big list of items to find and then having the satisfaction of knowing where everything is in each scene.

While I liked the style of the illustrations there were a few animals I couldn’t identify. I’d be able to work around this with a child by asking them to find an animal of a certain colour doing a particular activity. I also would have liked a final page where Daisy and Basil actually find Ladybird. As it stands, Daisy wants to cry because she misses her pet so she and Basil try silly hats on to cheer themselves up so the story itself finishes on a bit of a downer.

Helpful Hint: Just because Daisy and Basil can’t find Ladybird in each scene doesn’t mean you won’t be able to find him.

Thank you so much to NetGalley and Quarto Publishing Group – Frances Lincoln Children’s Books for the opportunity to read this book.

Rating: 3.5 out of 5.

Once Upon a Blurb

Daisy’s pet ladybug goes missing, so she visits super-sleuth Basil, the best detective in Plant City. Can he help her find Ladybug? Follow Daisy and Basil as they look for Ladybug all over Plant City.

Is he in the museum, the carnival, the train station, the school, the concert or the restaurant? Witty, colorful, illustrations packed with visual jokes and plenty of wild things to spot in the background will delight children of all ages.

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Secret Agent Josephine in Paris – Brenda Ponnay

I really liked the blurb for Secret Agent Josephine in Paris but was ultimately disappointed. I was looking for some girl power, as this female spy and her daughter (codename: Bug) travel to Paris on assignment to track down Sean Slippy, a renowned smuggler of forged art and rare birds. While it had potential, Secret Agent Josephine wasn’t the role model I was hoping she’d be. Instead of using her quick wit to apprehend this international smuggler, upon reaching Paris she decides to go shopping and sightseeing.

I did like the use of a case file to provide background information about Slippy but the interesting bits of information about him found in the file had no bearing on his eventual capture. It would have been useful to know ahead of time that several conversations would be in French. I’m sure I couldn’t pronounce the names of some of the locations they visited, so had I attempted to read this book to a child they would have been laughing so hard at me that they wouldn’t have gotten anything from the story anyway.

I’m unsure why this mother is taking her daughter undercover on spying missions but it’s a good thing she did as she’d probably still be locked in Slippy’s bathroom if it wasn’t for Bug’s assistance. I expect children will enjoy searching for Slippy poking his head out behind objects in the illustrations.

Thank you so much to NetGalley and Xist Publishing for the opportunity to read this book.

Rating: 2 out of 5.

Once Upon a Blurb

There’s a new super spy in town! 

Secret Agent Josephine may not look like a super mum, but when she goes to work, bad guys better watch out for her crafty tricks. 

In this Secret Agent Josephine adventure, our heroine travels to Paris to scope out some new craft supplies and stop an infamous art thief. Donning disguises and stocking up on the tools of her trade, Secret Agent Josephine tracks the thief through the streets of Paris. But when she’s spotted, will her crafting skills be able to get her out of a jam?

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The Tooth That’s On the Loose! – Chris Robertson

This was a really enjoyable read. I love the Western take on having a loose tooth. Sheriff Tex tells us the story of a wanted tooth, T.B. Wiggly. He’s wanted because he’s going to leave a big ol’ hole in your mouth but there’s a reward for handing him over to the authorities.

As a kid most of my baby teeth refused to come out by themselves so I was trotted off to the dentist so they could torture treat me. My baby teeth were removed late so I would’ve been too old for this book by the time my teeth got their act together but for those whose teeth understand the concept of a timetable, this would be a great read to quell any anxieties. With quirky, fun illustrations this would be a good book for home, school and the dentist’s office.

Thank you so much to NetGalley and Xist Publishing for the opportunity to read this book.

Rating: 4 out of 5.

Once Upon a Blurb

When a loose tooth shows up in town, the local sheriff must do what it takes to send that wiggly tooth packing. This funny approach to the classic childhood situation of loosing a tooth is a must read for home and classroom libraries. Chris Robertson’s playful art is sure to delight young readers who can’t wait to loose a tooth.

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Harry Potter – The Unofficial Guide to the Collectibles of Our Favourite Wizard – Eric Bradley

You know all of that Harry Potter memorabilia you desperately want need but will never have enough Galleons for? For those of us who barely have two Knuts to rub together, this is the book to drool over while you’re feeling sorry for yourself for not having generous millionaire family members. In it you’ll find the wish list of your dreams, some of which would set you back more than what you paid for your car and others, your house. If anyone’s feeling generous, I wouldn’t reject your offer of gifting me one of J.K.’s hand-written and illustrated copies of The Tales of Beedle the Bard.

Eric Bradley’s book takes you on a journey through such treasures as first edition signed books, movie posters, movie props, Harry Pottery (including the chair J.K. sat in while she wrote the first two books and original artwork), Harry Potter merchandise, limited edition collectibles, fandom (including a themed wedding and tattoos), and Potter-inspired collectibles.

You’ll read details and see photos of items that have sold at auction as well as those which have not been made available for sale and are used in exhibitions. For most of us this book will be as close as we get to most of these coveted items. I particularly enjoyed reading about other fans and what this series means to them.

Disclaimer: Tissues for cleaning up your drool are sold separately.

Thank you so much to NetGalley, Krause Publications and F+W Media for the opportunity to read this book.

Rating: 5 out of 5.

Once Upon a Blurb

A legacy of magical treasures!

Since 1997 with the publication of the first book, Harry Potter has cast a spell over millions of Muggles around the world – not the least of all bewitched collectors. Harry Potter: The Unofficial Guide to the Collectibles of Our Favourite Wizard conjures rare, extraordinary and magical treasures sprung from the Potter books and movies, and even the imaginations of fans. In its enchantingly visual pages, you’ll discover delightful riches including author J.K. Rowling’s writing chair that sold at auction for almost $400,000, first-edition books, original art, movie posters, film props, exclusives, limited-edition items, fun fandom pieces, and other wonders to behold.

So with a whisper of “accio” and a flick of your wand, summon forth the fascinating, the fantastical and the fabulous found in Harry Potter: The Unofficial Guide to the Collectibles of Our Favourite Wizard.

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Inside Out Sharks – David George Gordon

I’m really enjoying the bite sized chunks (sorry!) of information in this Inside Out series. This book provides interesting facts about sharks’ skeletal system, cardiopulmonary system, reproductive system, digestive system, liver, sensory/nervous system, muscular system, and dermal system.

Did you know that the disks in a shark’s vertebrae have growth rings? You can tell the age of a shark by counting the rings, just like you can with trees.

“Female blue sharks can have litters as large as 135 pups!”

Some of the more interesting items found in the stomachs of captured sharks include a cuckoo clock and a suit of armour.

Ever since Jaws taught me to be afraid to go back into the water I’ve been fascinated by sharks, especially Great Whites. Hey, did you know Great Whites can live 70 or more years? When I first saw Jaws he was the most terrifying thing I could imagine. After watching my mate Bruce rip people to pieces I was convinced he had the power to come out of the shower head in pieces and magically reform before my eyes before he ate me while I showered. I was under 7 at the time and had a marvellously detailed imagination.

Like the Egyptian Mummy book I’ve already read in this series I loved the layout of the pages, with a nice balance of text, illustrations and photos. I also personally appreciated the pronunciation help with more difficult words such as “elasmobranchs (i-LAZ-muh-branks)”, the group of fish sharks belong to.

While my journey through this book wasn’t in 3-D as I received a digital copy, I can imagine how much fun a kid in my life would have learning about sharks while playing with the interactive die-cut model, if they managed to pry it out of my hands first. I would have loved using this as a resource for a school project or reading it for my own enjoyment. While aimed at kids aged 8 and above, adults will also enjoy learning more about these awesome creatures.

Thank you so much to NetGalley and Quarto Publishing Group – becker&mayer! kids for the opportunity to read this book.

Rating: 5 out of 5.

Once Upon a Blurb

Journey inside a shark and live to tell the tale! With Inside Out: Shark, you’ll take a three-dimensional tour through a different sharks to learn about the unique bodies of these eating machines! 

Sharks are some of nature’s largest and most ancient creatures on the planet. This is your chance to learn how they move, how they work, and tons of facts about how they live. Inside Out Sharks brings you all of this information and a whole lot more!

Why are shark eggs called “mermaid purses”? What in the world are “skin-teeth”? Do sharks deserve the nickname “man-eater”? Find the answers to these questions and more in this action-packed book, which dives deep under the surface to explore the world of these astounding animals.

From the eerie goblin shark to the wide-eyed hammerhead to the most feared shark of them all, the great white, see the world from a shark’s-eye-view – and get an in-depth look at these most mysterious and misunderstood predators. 

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Storm Whale – Sarah Brennan

Illustrations – Jane Tanner


A beautiful poetic story with absolutely stunning illustrations.

Rating: 5 out of 5.

Once Upon a Blurb

Sarah Brennan’s words are captivating; with their rhyme, rhythm and descriptive detail. For such a simple story of three sisters who come across a whale stranded on the beach, Brennan manages to capture the impact we are able to have on the environment and nature, including the perseverance and commitment required to care for and protect our planet.

The story begins with a dreary feel, a cold day on the beach and a hard day ahead. After working together and dedicating their day to the stranded whale, the sisters are left deflated as they return home to bed; only to wake to a day of success and sunshine. An important message for children to not give up in their determination for a peaceful and friendly world for all living things. 

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Inside Out Human Body – Luann Colombo

Did you know that your right lung has three lobes (or regions) and your left lung has two?

Or that you take about 20,000 breaths each day?

A layered human body model accompanies text, photos and illustrations that provide an introduction to some of the amazing things the different systems in our bodies do to keep us healthy. We often don’t think about these processes until something goes wrong but the fact that all of these systems work together in the first place is a marvel.

This book gives the reader information about our muscular system, skeletal system, joints, digestive system, urinary system, respiratory system, and nervous system. Pronunciation tips for more advanced words like “pulmonary (PUL-muh-nare-ee)” are provided and there are some simple experiments kids can do to demonstrate what they’re learning, such as looking at the underside of their tongue in a mirror to see their blood vessels (veins are blue, arteries are red).

One particular photo of a blonde girl with a cast on her right arm made me laugh even though it wasn’t intended to be funny. Someone’s obviously told her she needs to look super sad for this photo and she’s got one of the cutest frowny faces I’ve seen. Imagine you’ve just taken a bite out of a lemon and your mouth is drawn down so far that your chin gets that wrinkly, puckered look. That’s her.

While I didn’t find this book as engaging as the Sharks or Egyptian Mummy titles in this series it’s still an interesting read, is well set out and would be a useful school project resource.

Thank you so much to NetGalley and Quarto Publishing Group – becker&mayer! kids for the opportunity to read this book.

Rating: 4 out of 5.

Once Upon a Blurb

What do you think is the most amazing machine in the universe? A superconductor? The modern computer? A rocket ship? Think again: It’s the human body!

Astonishingly intricate and complex, your body grows, heals itself, and performs a mind-boggling number of complex functions all at the same time! Discover the amazing human body, system by system and layer by layer, in this fascinating book.

Inside Out: Human Body takes you on an incredible journey through the powerful muscular system, the “bone zone,” the long and windy road of the digestive system, the blood-pumping circulatory system, the forty-seven-mile long nervous system, and beyond! A unique layered model of the human body serves as the center point of each section, revealing key body parts and functions, while entertaining and informative text explains how the body works.

Each section is fully illustrated with colourful diagrams and includes fun, interactive lessons for you to try yourself. You can learn how to take your own pulse, how to make your arms float, and even what the color of your urine means! Sometimes the most incredible wonders are right under our noses.

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Merry Christmas, Hugless Douglas – David Melling

In this book you’ll search for the little robin that is in each scene. There are snow angels, tree hugging (by Douglas), snowman building, a Christmas tree with a difference and an adorable reindeer called Rudi. Rudi stole the show for me. His nose jingles, he’s blue and he has magic. I loved the illustrations and expect this will be a popular read in the lead up to Christmas this year.

Rating: 4 out of 5.

Once Upon a Blurb

Hugless Douglas knows what Christmas is all about – snowing sheep, finding a tree, sledging and and making new friends like Rudi the Reindeer! And one more thing of course … Christmas hugs!

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All I Want for Christmas – Rachel Bright

OK, this is the one! Even though I live in the Southern Hemisphere and am therefore not exactly dreaming of a white Christmas, if I was wandering through a bookstore looking for a kiddie Christmas book, this is the one I’d be taking home with me.

Why? Call me superficial but the small things really can be big things for me. At just a glance of the front cover I’m greeted by two colourful penguins in striped beanies and the dot on the i in Christmas is a snowflake. Then when I turn over to the back cover, our cute as a button penguins are putting a glowing star on top of a Christmas tree and some of the tree’s decorations are smiley fish!

So, by judging a book by its cover we already have a winner but then inside the story told in rhymes and the illustrations are aww-worthy. We follow Big Penguin and Little Penguin prepare for their Christmas celebration and while the presents are wonderful, what’s even better is the love they share. Aww! Heart melted.

P.S. There’s a giant teddy bear close to the middle of the book that I’ve already claimed. You may borrow it if you ask nicely.

Rating: 5 out of 5.

Once Upon a Blurb

Two penguins discover that love is the perfect gift at Christmas in this sparkling festive picture book!

The countdown to Christmas has begun and there is so much for Little Penguin to be excited about: decorating the tree, cooking festive treats, sending a letter to Santa, wrapping presents, and much more. But what does Big Penguin want for Christmas? The answer will warm the hearts of every penguin, big or small!

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